"Can you believe how good my boys have performed, even though they were all higher than Whitney Houston in a fucking blimp for every damn game?"
- TCU coach Gary Patterson, boldly lobbying his AD for a new contract
I enjoyed this.
The frustrated ennui of the Dolphins logo is impressive, and fitting.
"Coach Tomlin? I found a guy and I want to make him my first hire. He’s a youth hockey coach, but hear me out…"
"Also you can see sight of abuse if you look close enough at her crotch."
"Shit, man. How many times do I need to apologize for that?"
- Dennis Rodman
You know how some offices have a "swear jar" that people put money into whenever they curse? The Steelers are going to need one of those, for rape.
Philip Rivers was so offended by Holguin's behavior that he lost focus and played like a fucking asshole until the team was effectively out of contention.
"Envision him happy and fulfilled..."
Okay. I'll envision him in toasty pair of Uggs, dancing, swaying, living the way a life is supposed to be lived, God damn it, in the pulsating midst of a Carnival throng.
This is just like any Chatroulette: it stars a pale, flaccid, wrinkly dick.
Outstanding.
AL MVP Justin Verlander Eats Like You Do When You’re Drunk At 2 A.M.
No. No he doesn't.
- Jeffrey Dahmer
That's great.
Can't wait for NY Post's Headline: "Face-Off: Sanchez's Leadership Challenged by Moles"
Hey Drew, I heard you're kind of short for a QB, too! We should hang out brother!!11!!
The accused is expected to use the "I'm not even the worst reporter named 'Gray' in the history of NBC" defense, to good effect.
