Wow. Female motorheads. I like.

]]> Salpicadores? Sounds tasty. I personally love menudo, barbacoa, carne asada, carnitas and other Mexican delicacies. Always up to try something else, unless it involves goat balls (got tricked into trying that once. Not very tasty, especially after Ramon told me what I just ate wrapped in a tortilla).

]]> How the hell did you shrink that big old boat to salad proportions? I call fraud, it's a Matchbox toy.

]]> I voted Land Rover. Yeah, you can get parts for it, but it's always going to be cursed by the Prince of Darkness.

]]> I want one now.

]]> Those little Toyota vans were kinda stupid. Now, if the little turd in question actually had a two speed transfer case and decent skidplates,, it might take you somewhere. Provided you fixed it so it wouldn't overheat and melt when it was fifty degrees or hotter outside. Now, that Caravan might be cool. Crank the boost up so it's a grenade, smoke the front tires, have some stupid fun until it blows up, then crush it like a beercan.

]]> Really nice old truck. Love the faded logo of the Saluter. The only things I'd do to this warhorse is drop in a newer 235 six and replace the missing tooth.

]]> The only way this ugly little bastard could be cool is if it had a fitting so you could use it to run a nailgun. Otherwise, it's worthless.

]]> It looks like you could actually drive it. Always liked Z cars.

]]> This happens all the time in Arizona. I was at the local Circle K tonight, buying some beer, and the Border Patrol guy coming in mentioned that something like this just happened, talking to a couple of local cops loitering around getting coffee. But, instead of being in the middle of Phoenix where news helicopters can film it, it was way out in the desert on some obscure dirt road. The van in question was bypassing the checkpoint on Arizona 80. The local Tombstone cops mentioned that they'd go out there to see if they could assist and got in their Expedition and cruised out that way. No big deal. I thought about following them in my own truck just to gawk but figured I'd go drink my beer instead. This incident probably won't even make the paper. Hell, if they bust a shipment of less than about four hundred pounds of weed it doesn't make the news. Unless you live around here, you have no idea of the wild and crazy shit that goes on around here on a daily basis.

]]> Natural selection in action. Yeah, Darwin was right.

]]> What makes me kinda depressed is all the dead Jag E-types. Yeah, I know, they're finicky and all, Lucas and all that, but, damn, how could you let one just rot? This is PCH for all time and eternity. Talk about damnation.

]]> Here in Tombstone, all the old farts have their golf carts, and some of them are insanely overpowered. It's a small town, and it's a good way to get around without lighting up the big diesel RV pulling pickup truck (lots of these geezers live in monster fifth wheel trailers). One of these days, one of them will get lit and lead the cops on a race through town, but they won't end up at their grandma's place because she died around 1952. Still, this story is a good reason not to fuck up in a small town. Everybody knows you. I'm surprised the cops chased him, they could have just waited for him when he got back home. The cops were bored, and wanted to get in on the fun.

]]> Go to Jerome, AZ and visit the "Ghost Town" there. There's a model T tractor conversion that's the most awesome bit of Meatball Technology you'll find anywhere. Single, steel rear wheel and barbed wire plug wires. Thing runs. Very cool.

]]> There have been some epic shitheaps here on PCH but nothing this bad for a long time. Why would anyone bother to heap such indignities on perfectly good (if boring) cars and then try to sell these abortions in public? The Integrarri (sp?) guy is just plain pathetic. Hey, look, you can't polish a turd and anyone who pays 2500 bucks for the chance is as bad as this dumbass.

]]> Once again, I lived in my '64 Chevy motorhome (the Road Condo) for two years, on 80 acres of Arizona desert for two years. Used a generator and a well and did just fine. Hey, if all goes to shit, just get an RV and you'll be fine. They're dirt cheap right now and they're way livable. Hippies are all excited about their "Tiny Houses" and the like and proud about how they're mobile and movable but RV's have been around for a long time and are readily available. Camp in a Volvo? Stupid. Get a class c motorhome from the 80's for 3 grand and you're fine.

]]> I love old Caddies, have had two of them. The '69 and '70 models are pretty cool, but I love the '68 models with the vertical headlights and the first year 472. I want a red one, but this powerbarge would suit me just fine. There's a company in New Mexico who builds monster Cadillac 500's which put out monster horsepower and torque. Stock, the 472 in my '71 limo put out something like 375 horsepower and 500 lbs. ft. of torque. Build a hotrod Caddy engine and it gets even fatter. Caddies rock.

]]> Ok, tragic for the car. Whatta shame, poor little thing doesn't deserve this indignity. But, next time you have some racist asshole espousing how smart white people are, show them this.

]]> I love Jalopnik. Where else can you find pointlessly sick and wrong objects like this? These maniacs earn my greatest respect. But, until they put this grenade on the Bonneville Salt Flats and run it flat out, they don't have a hair on their collective ass.

]]> Power Wagon, hands down. I already have one,a 1953 one ton, paid 150 bucks for it, it's been sitting in the same place for 30 years (not my yard, the sellers. He don't care), and is freakin' awesome. I visit it sometimes, dream a little, kick the decayed tires, view the rodent nests under the hood, and speculate about how bitchin' it will be when I finally drag it somewhere and start working on it. RAN WHEN PARKED somewhere back when Nixon was facing impeachment. Yes, gimme another. The one on the trailer is concours compared to mine. The little Commie car? Stupid. Fix it again, Ivan.

]]> Smart guy. Why bother with a spare tire when you can carry a spare truck?

]]> I didn't think they let women drive over there, much less leave the house without being chaperoned by a male relative. I guess that's what the passenger seat is for. Or maybe she rides while he drives. I'm so glad I live in Tombstone, AZ where a woman's car is usually a big beat-up pickup truck covered in desert dust.

]]> My vehicles are all old and senile, and I make a point of keeping an extra electric fuel pump around.

]]> W.C. Fields happens to be one my personal heroes. Great stuff.

]]> Yeah, the Crown Vic makes for good cop cars and taxis, has been around for a long time, but how about the Checker? Never changed from the mid-fifties until the early eighties, I think '82, when the company went out of business. Big, slow, indestructible barges that were the best cabs ever built. There was even the Aerobus, which was an eight-door station wagon.

]]> The Citroen is PCH personified. Doesn't get any worse than this. The two Lancias each have a fighting chance of running (not that I really care if they ever do), but that SM is a permanent lawn monument.

]]> These are wonderful machines. Loved them since I was a kid. Back in the Seventies, most RVs were shoddily built out of crummy wood framing and aluminum skin, but the GMC's (like Airstreams) were built like aircraft, aluminum frames, riveted skin, elegant. The were powered by an Olds 455 big block through a beefed-up Toronado front drive transaxle (as noted above). I drove one once, and it drove like a big ol' Vista Cruiser station wagon. The airbag equipped rear suspension was smooth, and it had the lowest center of gravity of its class. Compared to the other motorhomes of its day, it was a class act.

]]> The era of the SUV is over. Most of these yuppy crocks never saw the edge of the pavement, they were some kind of suburban statement of outdoorsiness. Maybe the odd skier needed to get up the mountain during a snowstorm, but most yuppy skiers won't ski in a storm. Yeah, most of these vehicles are relatively capable in the rough, but you'll never see them way out in the desert. A serious off-roader might consider the Jeep or maybe the Toyota, and I've seen a few Suburbans that can climb, but the rest of these are flimsy junk. They're going for cheap because they're out of fashion with their target audience, trendy 'Burb dwellers who live nowhere near someplace where they need 4 Low.

]]> Nice ride. I love that he used the original engine, nothing chromed or prettied up. Yeah, it's a smogged 302, but I'll bet it moves out just fine.

]]> None dare call it a truck. This yuppy plaything won't even hold a couple of haybales. I don't think any of the ranchers, contractors, myself, or anybody else I know who needs the use of a good honest truck on a daily basis will be in the market for this. This thing is a pair of Birkenstocks as opposed to a pair of steel toed boots. 'Burb gear.

]]> Man, GRAVITY RULES. This is what happens when you don't think ahead. Back when I was a teenager, I read a story in Hot Rod Magazine about a guy who was pulling the heads off of a small block V8 in a '55 Chevy. It was parked on a hill. He pulled the first head, no problem. When he pulled the other head, well, no more compression, and he related chasing the Chevy down the street(forgot to set the parking brake...duh) with the head under his arm like a football. Panicked (I would, too), forgot about the forty something pound cylinder head he was holding, chased his car downhill. I think it plowed into some bushes. Talk about felling like a dumbass. The poor tow truck driver must have had that feeling, squared. How's this gonna look on your tow truck driver resume?

]]> My old buddy Steve had a '60 Pontiac Ventura and an Austin Healy Sprite (same car as the Midget pictured). When the two were parked in his driveway, you got this same effect, but the Pontiac was bigger and cooler than that Lincoln. I swear, you could carry the Spite on the Ventura's trunklid.

]]> Keep this thing away from me. Don't want it even in the same area code. Makes my blood run cold. I know myself too well.

]]> Two old farts here bet a thousand bucks over who would build the fastest golf cart. One geezer put an Eighties Suzuki 550 four in his, and the other put some insane snowmobile two-stroke twin in his. They were going to go screaming around an agreed course out in the desert, and I was there hoping to see some major carnage. Unfortunately, the Suzuki Death Machine failed to start, losing by default. The 2-Stroke Horror is still spotted here in Tombstone occasionally. The owner even fell out of it once, being a geriatric show off and a total dick. The Death Machine languishes behind the owner's dive bar conveniently located next door to my lavish digs, and one day my sobriety will be at a low ebb and I'll buy the damn thing and get it running. Bad things will happen.

]]> Nice car. It's gotta be crazy fast.

]]> Nice old truck. Yeah, I'd drive it every day. I love the fact that it's not all restored perfect. A truck should have dents and flaws.

]]> I've got history of taking in old beater Caddies. There's no way I could resist TWO '57 Coupe DeVilles. I think you could get most of the parts needed to get at least one on the road, but man, that would be a lot of work.

]]> Cool car. I doubt it would ever see 180, but I bet it would light up the tires leaving a strip club. Probably scares the hell out of the little boys who drive obnoxious lowered Hondas.

]]> No tracked vehicles, so no M113. So, I'll have to go with a Brinks Truck. Who cares about traffic jams. Find some relatively high ground and stay put. Fill it full of beer and chips and ride the storm out. When the looting begins, drive around and observe for giggles. They can't bother you. Maybe take a few potshots from the gun ports.

]]>