<![CDATA[Comments from 1600mkII]]> <![CDATA[Comments from 1600mkII]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Head Turner Edition: Stutz Blackhawk or Backyard Lambo?]]> The Stutz - but only if I can keep it exactly the way it is.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, What The Hell IS That Thing Edition: Humber Sceptre or Simca Aronde?]]> I just assumed it would be the Humber - the only car ever built that looked just like its name...but then I saw the Simca and I was lost!
That sucker is good for FOUR lifetimes!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Off-Roading In Lake Of Fire National Park: Land Rover or Nissan Patrol?]]> OK. Datsun...Let's see. Martha, are you getting this?
Car - $250.
Rebuild - $50,000.
Crane - 3 days, 1 to pick up the car, 2 to move the other shit - $2800.
House Movers: - remove electric lines on street, disconnect plumbing lines and cap, raise house and brace, mount on I beams, truck down street, set up new braces to store while emptying back yard, replace electric lines, remove equipment for three days, return, re-remove electric lines, relift house and truck back to site, put in place on braces, reconnect plumbing, re-replace electric lines in street and reconnect to house, remove equipment. - 3 weeks - $182,500.
Total - $235,550.
OK. Land Rover...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Challenging The King Edition: Citroën SM or Four Ferraris?]]> OK! I GIVE! I'LL TAKE THE CITROEN!! I HEARD THE OLD BUICK/ROVER ALUMINUM V8 FITS IN IT! HELL, I'D PUT IN AN IRON DUKE AND MOUNT THE MASER V6 AS A SCULPTURE. I'D EVEN MOUNT THE WHOLE THING AS A SCULTURE...ANYTHING!! JUST NOT THE 308/328s.
PLEASE! I'LL BE GOOD, LORD. I PROMISE!!!!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Financiapocalypse Moonshine Runner Edition: Mercury Marauder or BMW 850i?]]> Given the parameters, it'd have to be Merc. I mean I've been places where they told me they were seeing their first Mercedes. Can you imagine driving quietly and invisibly through the Ozarks in a Bimmer coupe?

All that aside, WHERE TF are these guys finding their prices? Haven't they noticed that none of us rednecks can get a loan any more? Even at Household Finance at 33%?

Now that the revolution has started why not just steal us a Police Cruiser and paint it primer grey?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Can You Identify The Car Parked In Front Of This Burning Meth Lab?]]> I'm almost positive it's a 1962 Olds F85...but why was I suckered into answering this?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Mysterious Factory Racer Edition: Ferrari 360 Challenge or BMW E46 M3?]]> Ahh the beauty of it all. 1/3 of a Bimmer race car vs 5/8 +/- of a Challenge Stradale. How can you choose? Obviously you know where you're starting with the M3 so that's out. Which leaves:
A Gibson sponsored Ferrari? I happen to love the SG Custom on the hood - you can be in the penis in the penis if you actually ever get it to driveability. Or you can just point to your penis and say, "Honest - I was just waiting for the starter gun when he rear-ended me!" Or - "It just went into reverse on its own!"
The cuts in the sheetmetal look suspiciously neat to me and WHYTHEFUCK has this untitled, history-less, supposedly race wrecked car been so meticulously washed? Was there some kind of evidence to get rid of? Maybe a coke dealer's daily driver?
...the beauty of it all...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Index Of Effluency Edition: MGB-GT or Fiat X1/9?]]> Fiat! ..."doesn't shift too bad at all..." HA!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Best Of 1974 Edition: De Tomaso Longchamp or Bricklin SV-1?]]> OOOOPS! Meant the Bricklin of course.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Best Of 1974 Edition: De Tomaso Longchamp or Bricklin SV-1?]]> Hot! Gotta be the deLorean...the seller has obviously figured out that the doors won't open after the first week! I actually got trapped in one in the early 70s. So he just took them off. And the hood? Don't forget that the hinges had to attach to it - won't fly. So get rid of it!! Brilliant! No hell here, but why waste your time on a car that doesn't exist when you can have one that NEVER existed!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Bad Things Like You Done In Weed Edition: Triumph TR3A or Alfa Romeo Duetto?]]> The Alfa is clearly impossible, but I have to admit I fell absolutely in LOVE with the spray can runs on the nose (not to mention the crushed remainder!) on the TR3A.

How can one not want to cuddle a car that was so loved by its first owner that the paint was actually buffed off the hood? Or wait with baited breath to gently convince the rims back into roundness? Or race to get that rude, nasty, heavy hard top off its sensitive skin and those horrible tires off the boot...or IS there a boot? OR to adoringly smooth out the most horrendously oxidized SUs in the Western world ?

And I can't wait to see the grill!

Yeah - you'll never fix the alfa and Yeah it is one of the most stunning cars ever made but what fun is immersing yourself in the hell of a lifetime restoration on a car that could actually truly become valuable?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Pressure Drop Edition: Stanley Steamer or Gardner-Serpollet?]]> I had to go with the Stanley...first because we can't see it and second because the "what if" of the explosion has to create a guaranteed gremlin/ghost in the car. It'll NEVER run!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, LeMons South Edition: RX-7 or Caprice?]]> Actually I think you HOPE for the 305 with 185000. mi (did a '91 have a million mile clock?) That way it takes so long to get up to speed it'll never exceed 55 mph in the 1/5 mile and will simply wear out every part without doing violence to your body.

You see - there is no hell with either of these guys...this is purgatory. Rebuilding a wankel? Replacing a 250 tranny? eh? Everywhere you turn you got parts for almost nothin', when it does get trashed, so what? You had fun - cost less than dinner and a show in New York and THEN you can donate it as a tax write off to your local volunteer fire company and enjoy watching them burning it!!!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Debacle Edition: Matra Murena or Alpine A310?]]> Arggh!!! Why, Murilee, WHY??? I voted but I won't say for which. The Alpine has 6 of the wrong carbs, but the Matra has seats for TWO girlfriends at the same time. I always wondered why they didn't put the controls in the center...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Turbo Offenhauser Euro Sedan Edition: Peugeot 404 or Rover 2000?]]> The Pug is obvious...nothing in the car but the three bolt wheels will hold up to the offy, which, BTW, is probably from the late 50s...

Back to the 404: The Offy should pretty much drop right in and (here's the Great Part) all you'll need is a forward only 2 speed trans - think of a fried Model A - and you'll use up the chassis in less than a mile. THEN you can go back to the garage and break out all that chrome-moly you've been hoarding, the Mig and helmet and start building that mid engine Formula 2 you've always dreamed about.

I don't know if I'm disappointed or not over the advent of the screenplay writing approach to the responses here but I certainly find them entertaining.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Graverobber Edition: 1970 Cougar or 1972 Torino?]]> I had to go with the Torino, but not because of the Awzimatics. The 429 under the hood PLUS a 351 Cleveland sideays in the trunk, the whole thing mounted atop a 1972 F350 chassis with 42" duelies and two transmission controllers. You COULD NOT do that with the Cougar.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Are Cars Getting Uglier?]]> It's a tad too early to judge:
Don't forget that the Chrysler Airflow was so "ugly" they couldn't give it away.
EVERYBODY hated the GM cars of 1959 - 60 after the glorious 57's.
The Edsel, of course, has remained ugly to this day.
We might be surprised how we eventually judge the Edge although I suspect the Honda "trucks" will stay ugly...I don't think the X6 has much hope, although I could be wrong.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, 3-Way Superpower Showdown: Renault R17 Gordini, Alfa Romeo Giulia, or Bond Equipe?]]> I had to go with the Alfa - the guy is SUCH an optimist! The hell comes from the fact that it IS an Alfa and a Jiulia and we will delude ourselves to the DEATH that it might be worth something some day...and, of course, it absolutely can not be saved short of about $150k.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, God Save The Queen Edition: Jensen GT or Lotus Elan?]]> The fact that the Lotus went with the BuyitNow almost immediately is an indication why my choice is the JENSEN! There is a perfectly respectable Lotus club which will gladly help put the Elan right and, no matter how OK the Jensen looks, there is NO HOPE once you get it home.
Besides - imagine having people constantly saying, "Hmmm...nice Triumph!" the rest of your life. HELL!!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Insert British Leyland Joke Here: 1976 Triumph TR7]]> DRIVER (VO):
Whew! I can't believe we made it through the shot!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell: Lancia Scorpion or Merkur XR4Ti?]]> Aw c'mon now! A scorpion survived the Zambia challenge on Top Gear, and they're like dirt all over Italy...but a truly beat MICHIGAN Merkur? Now that's terror.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Vintage Baja Racer Edition: Peugeot 404 or 1957 Baja Bug?]]> I had to go French...
I was sad when I read the motor is missing - I still have my 60 in. spark plug wrench somewhere, but to have an absolutely impossible to repair vehicle that actually was one of the best cars in the world at one time is the ultimate in pathos.
I might be tempted to encase it in an epoxy block and leave it just the way it is. Sounds great!
A 63 beetle? So what?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on A Case Of Junkyard OCD?]]> Mopar slant six - Valient...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Canadian Ne'er-Do-Well Edition: Jaguar XJ-S Or 1940 Mopar Package Deal?]]> Absolutely the Mopars! At first the jag was obvious - I have a friend who actually got one for free and can't keep it on the road. But then I got to thinking...and dreaming...
IF there are two engines, and IF there are two seats between the two and IF there is a complete trans between them, a simple set of gears taking both cranks down to one take-off would give us the unmistakable roar (or wheeze) of a flat head, twin carb V-TWELVE!!!
Now - about them lug nuts....

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, You Can Afford A Lamborghini Edition: 1970 or 1971 Espada?]]> They had me at the Tasty-Freez! Is that a guitar in the back? 12 cyl all the way! It will never drive two days running!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, European Pain Edition: Borgward Hansa Wagon or Peugeot 304?]]> I always wanted to drop a porsche motor in a Borgward - and a WAGON??! Peugeots can always be fixed (as long as ya got the special friggin tools)...but a BORGWARD???!
Gotta have it!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, No Escape From Engine-Swapped Porsches Edition: VR6 914 or Corvair 912?]]> Just once I'd like to drive this 912. I'm assuming they've got blocks under the rear to make it look like that 500 lb behemoth is being supported by the original suspension. The reason I voted is the possibility of having to replace the clutch (remove the engine / trans) AND the infamous belt of death (remove the engine / trans) at the same time. How much easier can things get?
Now - what was the comparative between EU 90 hp and US 140 in those days?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Chevy-Powered Porsche Edition: 911 or 924?]]> All I needed was to see a small block sitting on a rug in the 911/12's engine bay. Wow! That is SOOO cool! You have nothing to do but start from scratch with an impossible marriage...DA BEST!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Double The Hell Edition: Pair-O-Willys or Benz-Pontiac Combo Platter?]]> ALL RIGHT! Sumpin ta sink a tooth into! The Kraut and the Super Chief. If worse come to worst and (assuming you can pull the chassis out of the mud) you get tired of the Benz motor you can rebuild the V8 (assuming it IS a V8) and drop it into the 220...either way at least a decade total work for nothing.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Superpower Rematch Edition: Jaguar Mark VII or Citroen DS?]]> The thing about the obvious choice is that it's the obvious choice...you will get the pneumos fixed...it will get painted. It will drive until it doesn't then will never go again.
I voted for the Jag because, as much as I adore these cars and would love to have another Mark, and as good as the 3.4 is when the carbs are in sync and as terrific as the trans and rear are between total implosions that is the key point - they WILL break - over and over! You can fix them but the true purgatory lies in the fact that you can and WILL fix them. And, of course, the electrical...oh, the electricals.The Citroen, on the other hand, reaches the point of absolutely no return. What fun is that?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Superpower Showdown: V12 Jagchero or Electric Renault?]]> Hey - I'm sorry guys - YOU HAVE GOT TO go with the volts!! That thing will NEVER run!
Although...a ZR1 motor in the almost Jag??? Hmmm...maybe I'm changing my mind...or maybe, wait for an Audi V10 diesel in 10 years? Add Haldex? Hmmmmm...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Great Rusty North Edition: Triumph GT6 or Porsche 914?]]> Please! No contest! The 914 - even with its "new floors" was a functional car when new. You just have to put it back together and it will go.
The TR6 was basically PCH new from the factory...and if you ever finish it (ha-ha) it will be a lovely vehicle to look at.
TR6...'nuff said.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, Limo Edition: 1957 Chrysler or 1981 Ferrari?]]> The reasons you must go with the Chrysler are:
1) Whether Wolfington or Armbruster or...? the stretch is WAAAAY beyond the capabilities of the original frame...unless they added an extra 2 tons :-) and whatever that's all definitely rusted through by now (New Hampshire?).
2) The body - rust? Let's just break out the forms and sheet metal now.
3) The brakes probably never worked in the first place.
4) It prob'ly ain't even luxe inside although it might have a push button automatic!!
5) There's probably enough room to add a second drive train in the rear.
6) The Ferrari ain't got fins.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Impossible Fiats Edition: Ghia 1500GT or '58 Multipla?]]> I voted for the Ghia because that is, ultimately, the only truly impossible car to finish. My actual preference is the Multipla because everyone should alwasy own at least one car that's so ugly and, at the same time, so logical that it has to be accepted at all strata of society.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, German Hellwagons Of Finland Edition: Taunus or Turbo Kadett?]]> Hey, UDMan, for what it's worth, the Opel was considered legitimate competition for the 2002 in it's time. But, meanwhile, I HAVE to vote for the Taunus. I always thought it approached the Citroen for pure weirdness...and the motor, unlike the body actually could last forever. And what I really love is having to pay 5K Eu (or $7750. US) BEFORE paying to get it to the states - (maybe $1500.) ??
The biggest thing though. I have to ask wottinhell does "Linkkivinkki" mean?

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Maximum Cartruck Edition: Dragamino or Mark VIIchero?]]> Definitely the Lincoln! I could see at least 6 months of sleepless nights just trying to figure out how to de-uglify the back window...a Ford F150 rear chassis addon would resolve the shocks, tho...

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Farm Equipment Edition: Scout 800 or Scout II?]]> Y gotta go with the 78...NO HOPE at all!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Off-Brand Station Wagon Edition: Firedome or Provincial?]]> Although the '55 wasn't the prettiest DeSoto (which one was?) and the Stude had the absolutely BEST fins after the 57 Lincoln, I still go for the Firedome and the actual originality of the Desoto. My folks had a 55 Plymouth wagon which was as stable a platform as I've ever known. I know - it almost sounds like it isn't hell to me, but any 50 yr old car is hell.

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on Project Car Hell, 1958 Edition: Mercury Commuter or Vespa 400?]]> Sorry - the Vespa could actually be put back together without going bankrupt. Gotta be the Merc!

]]> <![CDATA[1600mkII commented on PCH, Ice, Rust, och Akvavit Edition: Saab or Volvo?]]> It's seems obvious that the Ovlov is unsaveable, but it's been so many years since I was terrorized by that free-wheeling transmission, that I'd have to use this as the starting point for my entrance into the nether world. The SAAAAAAB

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