I watched the big Apple Event today, just in case they said anything about an Apple Car. They didn’t. Because of course they didn’t. Nobody thought they would, right? Well, now we know for sure: no car. So we can all rest easy.
I mean, sure, I was plenty excited to see that the iPhone 7 comes in black and—get this—jet black, and I can’t wait to not see those two kinds of black hidden under people’s phone cases. And hey, no more headphone jack! What am I supposed to pack pocket lint into now?