Jalopnik: Nsfw

They Let A Woman With Real Breasts Ride In 1300-HP Corvette

Raphael Orlove — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:30:00 EST

Or, as you read the title: Blah Blah Blah Breasts Blah Blah Blah 1,300-HP Corvette. Yes, some schmuck has made another addition to the classy boobs-go-for-a-ride formula, only this time things aren't quite as enhanced as they were before. UPDATE! They took down the video and it was edited to remove the nipples. Apparently, YouTube is ok with the rest of the videos but a little nipping was too far. The Full NSFW version is here. More »

Watch An Icy 100-Car Pileup Form

Patrick Frawley — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:15:00 EST

The first rule of winter driving: Slow down in slick conditions. The second rule of winter driving: Leave plenty of braking room when visibility drops. These guys get it completely wrong. To be fair, so did about a hundred other drivers. (Warning: NSFW due to gratuitous profanity.) More »

Only An Idiot Would Think Chrysler's Clint Eastwood Ad Was Pro-Obama

Ray Wert — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:45:00 EST

As one of the first to call the Chrysler Clint Eastwood commercial from last night's Super Bowl a "political ad" — for a moment I felt like the brouhaha over it was partly my fault. Well, until the political hacks weighed in and I realized they were living in a fantasy world. More »

Watch this OCD guy flip out whenever he sees an El Camino

Mike Spinelli — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:00:00 EST

"Wipe off that El Camino or something bad will happen." That bizarre suggestion from a friend was enough to set off a major tic for one man with obsessive compulsive disorder. Whenever he sees an El Camino, he's overcome with the need to — HOLY SHIT! THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE! MOTHER FUCKER! SEE MAN?! — do one of those perplexing, repetitive OCD rituals. Sad, and strange, and yet we totally get it. It's just that our response is, you know, the exact opposite. More »

Bodacious babe meets bodacious CTS-V

Patrick Frawley — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 20:30:00 EST

The Cadillac CTS-V Coupe posts impressive numbers: 556 horsepower, a 0-to-60 mph time near four seconds, and top speed around 190mph. Also impressive is the car's ability to make a passenger go from restrained and controlled to squealing and cursing and giggling in well under four seconds. More »

Kimi Räikkönen was having a shit

Peter Orosz — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:30:00 EST

Hate him for poaching Lewis Hamilton’s drivers’ title or love him for his bottomless Scandinavian cool, 2007 world champion Kimi Räikkönen is back in Formula One, after signing a two-year deal with Lotus Renault. It’s time for embarrassingly cool moments at Grands Prix yet again, like his classic line about a pre-race bowel movement at the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix. More »

Watch a naked dude fight with NYC bouncer, runs into traffic, fall off a car (NSFW)

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:45:00 EST

A reader sends in this video taken on 6th Avenue in Manhattan at 2:30 a.m. Saturday night. Very few good things happen at 2:30 a.m. on 6th Avenue, which is why it's always a good idea to have your phone camera at the ready. More »

Academy Awards snub Senna documentary

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:30:00 EST

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I have this ritual where I yell "I'm done with the fucking Oscars" followed by "and this time I mean it!" This year's epithet-generating travesty is the exclusion of Asif Kipadia's excellent Senna from the Academy's documentary short-list. Jerks. More »

Lotus is the new Lotus

Peter Orosz — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:30:00 EDT

The incredibly confusing mess of the two Team Loti in Formula One has, as expected, apparently been resolved at an FIA meeting. From next year on, the gold-and-black Lotus cars will be called Lotuses, while the yellow-and-green Lotus cars will be called Caterhams. More »

NSFW "Girl in Toyota Supra" video is totally fake

Patrick Frawley — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:00:00 EDT

This very NSFW video stands as further proof that even the most obviously phony and staged clips will draw eyeballs given enough footage of bouncing tits and tire smoke — especially the former. More »

87-year-old caught with 228 pounds of cocaine in truck

Patrick Frawley — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:30:00 EDT

An 87-year-old horticulturist from Indiana was pulled over on 1-94 west of Ann Arbor, Mich., last Friday for tailgating. And then things got weird. When it was over, the senior citizen and $2.9 million worth of cocaine were in police custody. More »

Tamara Ecclestone gets naked and rolls around in money

Patrick Frawley — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:30:00 EDT

Europeans — especially the Brits — seem just that much more evolved with celebutante decadence than us Yanks. In place of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, they get F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone's daughter Tamara exposing herself while rolling about alluringly on a bed of £50 notes, wearing a pair of heels that will give Max Mosley painfully sweet dreams for some time to come. More »

Click on this link and a Chevy Sonic will hopefully be destroyed

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:30:00 EDT

Chevy's econobox may not look like the embarrassing Korean crapwagon called the Aveo that once filled high school parking lots, but its sudden improvement in the looks department doesn't mean we still wouldn't want to see one launched off a 100-foot-tall stack of shipping containers. More »

FaceLube: The only skin care line sold at Meineke

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 15:30:00 EDT

It's rare we use the email subject line from a PR representative for a headline, but nothing else comes close to describing it. It's got a name that sounds like a weird sex product, costs a ton of money, and is something you buy at Meineke, a car lube joint, but put on your face. It's called FaceLube — and it's real. More »

Model auction combines die-cast cars and breasts

Justin Hyde — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Getting the attention of eBay browsers can be a real challenge, but one Minnesota man who's nipping off his mountainous die-cast car collection unlatched the idea of posing all his Dodges, Chevys and Mustangs with breasts. More »

In Russia, slutty pop stars drive you!

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 15:00:00 EDT

As music video premises go, they don't get more embarrassingly simple or effective than this. Take three attractive-ish Russian pop stars, put them in a car, and film what happens. There's flashing, girls kissing, spanking, and a lollipop-with-condom bit that probably pushes this into NSFW territory. More »

Bikini model gets naked to sell Volkswagens in China

Mike Spinelli — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 13:30:00 EDT

Our dealers just give out free hot dogs and balloons on Saturdays. In China, one Volkswagen dealership hired a band of bikini-clad models to lure in prospects. Until one model apparently decided swimwear was too much clothing for the gig. Maybe the dealership next door was offering bikini models and hot dogs. More »

Dartz finally scores a Playboy bunny with the Prombron

Justin Hyde — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:30:00 EDT

Which do you think has a harder time on a rockpile — the woman in the old-fashioned Playboy bunny getup, or the Prombron of Leo Dartz? This video still needs something else, like a hundred tiny giraffes with wings. NSFW language. More »

The ground has stopped shaking; I have not

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 16:30:00 EDT

So, I just experienced my first earthquake. According to maps I'm like 50 miles away from the epicenter. As a Texan, I had no concept of how to react to this. I desperately grasped for a firearm so I could shoot at the earthquake and then, finding none, fled into the streets. Not my proudest moment. More »

Watch "Winnebago Man" for free and talk to the producer

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Jack Rebney's bad day was nothing but backroom lore until the web made him Winnebago Man, a.k.a. the angriest man alive. Director Ben Steinbauer tracked down Rebney for the documentary "Winnebago Man," which we're featuring as our first Gearhead Film Friday feature. More »

Firefighter uses Facebook to tell wrong-way drivers: "Don't be an asshole!"

Justin Hyde — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00:00 EDT

When the Ladd, Ill., fire department called for backup to a highway crash, two firefighters found their route blocked by drivers going the wrong way on the shoulder to escape the backup. Their 21st-century response: Bitching out the drivers on Facebook. More »

2012 Toyota Yaris unveiled at irrelevant music festival

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 10:00:00 EDT

It's the car nobody cares about unveiled at a music festival not relevant since 1995. Yeah, I went to Lollapalooza. Once. Back in 1995. Me and my main man Dirty Bogus MC the Third went to see Pavement because they had them opening for Sinead O'Conner. Bald chicks throwing mud bombs at Spiral Stairs. What was Perry Farrell smoking? I should remember, he passed me some at a Jesus Lizard concert. More »

Yes, you can customize your Bentley door sill to say anything

Justin Hyde — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:00:00 EDT

Online configurators can not only be great timewasters, but give us a glimpse of how desperate a brand can be for its customers. Why else would Bentley let you stamp obscenities on the door sill of a Mulsanne? More »

Watch a Chrysler get curb stomped

Mike Spinelli — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 13:00:00 EDT

It's kind of amazing to watch how the spinning front tires of a early-1990s Chrysler New Yorker cause a rapid increase in volume and release of energy, also known as an explosion. Naturally, they're spinning on a curb. Cheating you say? More »

The most truthful, foul-mouthed car dealer commercial ever

Justin Hyde — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 09:30:00 EDT

If "Winnebego Man" was the epitome of curse-filled vehicular salesmanship, this may be it's one-take zenith from the late 1960s. Remember, Ralph Williams Bay Shore Chrysler-Plymouth is your home for rape and pillage. Warning: NSFW. More »

Ford Marketing Head: "Fuck GM"

Justin Hyde — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 11:50:00 EDT

Ford's chief marketer Jim Farley has overseen some of the company's most important successes of the past few years, ones that have made it the most profitable automaker in America. How does he get motivated? By vowing to "fuck GM." UPDATED More »

This is why you don't take your Lamborghini to Best Buy

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:00:00 EDT

Last week we showed you a photo of a Lamborghini Murcielago being serviced at Best Buy and opined about why it was a bad idea. Now we've found the Facebook page from one of the techs who worked on the Lambo — and it makes an even better argument. More »

Shelby SuperCars Tuatara, Brabus blows on two AMG sedans, and Ford recalls some Five Hundreds

Ray Wert — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 09:00:00 EDT

This is the Morning Shift, our one-stop daily roundup of all the auto news that's actually important — all in one place at 9:00 AM. Or, you could spend all day waiting for other sites to parcel it out to you one story at a time. Isn't your time more important? More »

Naked woman thrashes $170,000 drift car

Justin Hyde — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 13:00:00 EDT

When Playboy asked model Kitty Lee to take a few spins in a drift car as a promotion for its pay TV service, it probably didn't budget for the mechanical issues that might result from handing a $170,000 race car to someone who doesn't know how to drive a stick. (WARNING: Semi NSFW) More »

Watch a Viagra-raging State Rep fail a sobriety test

Mike Spinelli — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Attention public figures, like Ohio Rep. Robert Mecklenborg. Please make sure both your headlights are working before driving drunk and jacked up on Viagra with a possible 26-year-old stripper in the car, likely unbeknownst to your wife and three children. More »

What to say when the TSA finds your sex toy stash

Ray Wert — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 20:01:00 EDT

The TSA recently mentioned you're allowed to bring sex toys in your carry-on luggage. Even though higher-ups say it's ok to bring "whips, chains, leashes, restraints and manacles," agents on the ground might not get the message. [Fleshbot NSFW] More »

Adrien Brody drives a Chrysler Conquest!?

Mike Spinelli — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:30:00 EDT

Actor Adrien Brody naturally has a jet-black Ferrari California. But recently, TMZ caught him in his "other" car. And you'll never guess what it is — it's a freaking late-'80s Chrysler Conquest TSI. Naturally, the celeb-stalking videographer thinks it's some run-of-the-junkyard crap car. Not by a long shot, genius. More »

Jim Glickenhaus is a custom Ferrari-driving "gangsta"

Mike Spinelli — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 10:00:00 EDT

Who cares how the other-half lives? The question is how's extreme one-percenter car-guy Jim Glickenhaus livin'? This video love-letter says it all (with ADULT LANGUAGE, kids). It's set at Villa d'Este, but watch for a teaser of the Ferrari P4/5 Competizione's debut at the Nürburgring 24 this weekend. More »

Beltway sex driver celebrates on Twitter after $22,000 judgment

Justin Hyde — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:30:00 EDT

The Virginia man accused of having sex when his car hit a taxi on the Beltway in Virginia last year was ordered by a jury to pay $22,000 — but judging by his Twitter feed, the party's still on. More »

Friend pumps $45K worth of diesel into Bam Margera's Lambo

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:30:00 EDT

A friend of Bam Margera's named "Cleveland" borrowed the Jackass co-star's Lamborghini Gallardo and put diesel fuel in the vehicle, causing an estimated $45,000 in damage. So far Margera's threatened to murder Cleveland on Twitter at least ten times. More »

Yes, there is now a porn version of Grand Theft Auto (NSFW)

Ray Wert — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 01:00:00 EDT

Even if you aren't a fan of videogames like "Grand Theft Auto," you may still appreciate Daring! director Dawn's efforts in recreating the tension, grittiness, and camera style common to narrative games in this new porn version. [Fleshbot NSFW] More »

The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

Tom Joslin — Sun, 29 May 2011 16:30:00 EDT

If you weren't listening to Kimi Raikkonen's in-car audio during his NASCAR Nationwide series debut yesterday (he raced a truck last week), you missed some gems. During the race he managed to curse his car, his burning ass, and the lack of hydration. More »

Tow Rick Springfield's Corvette and he will "Fucking kill you"

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 16 May 2011 18:30:00 EDT

Rick Springfield told a Sheriff's deputy "if you tow my car I will fucking kill you and your family" during his DUI traffic stop, according to TMZ. In Springfield's defense, people suck at towing Corvettes. More »

Topless drifter measures G-forces with her breasts (NSFW)

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 16 May 2011 15:30:00 EDT

Most videos of girls drifting topless in cars employ the seatbelt-over-areola trick, which is both deceitful and probably chafes. This topless Hungarian passenger has no such puritanical western hangups and has selected a more revealing harness configuration (NSFW). More »