Now Your Kid Can Sit In Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Lap All The TimeS

I don't have children myself, but I assume that when you're buying a carseat for them, you want something that's both safe and amusing so that they will shut the fuck up on long drives. This carseat does both because it features that delightful character beloved by children everywhere: NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr.

For a mere $99, you can order a Dale Jr.-themed carseat from Kids Embrace, whose other seats feature similarly famous characters like Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob Square Pants. Check out the "about this character" section of their website to learn more about Earnhardt's wonderful fictional adventures.

Given the choices here, I'm sure kids will go for this one. I've never met a child who wasn't enthralled by tales of Dale Jr. and how he was sent from planet Krypton by his father Dale Sr. to battle Voldemort with the help of his magic pony friends.

But if you, as a parent, have issues with placing your children into the lap of an adult man you've never met before, worry not — there's also a Batman carseat. And it's not like Batman has questionable relationships with young boys.

Oh, wait. Wait.