<![CDATA[Jalopnik: Novelty]]> http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Jalopnik: Novelty]]> http://jalopnik.com/tag/novelty http://jalopnik.com/tag/novelty <![CDATA[Call KLunker 1-1313 For Misdemeanor Motors!]]> While searching for the great Marshall Lucky scene from one of Kurt Russell's finest films, we ran across this... this... well, we're not quite sure what it is. It's a 1970 short film entitled Dad, Can I Borrow The Car, a very young (and un-Snake Plisskin-like) Kurt Russell narrates it, and it's seriously twisted. The used-car-dealer TV ad is an excellent example of drug-inspired gibberish, and the car wash scene... well, "groovy" seems to be the word we're looking for here. The bit above is actually Part 3; make the jump if you want to see Parts 1 and 2 first. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=326100&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Got Ideas For New Little Trees? You Will Be Heard!]]> So after I posted the inspiring Fresh As A Junkyard Breeze Little Tree Air Freshener Movie last week, I got a pleasant email from a marketing manager at the Little Tree Air Freshener Empire Headquarters. It turns out they're watching us closely for our opinions of their fine line of tree-shaped automotive air fresheners, which means we're important tastemakers now! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=306434&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Forget the VW Transporter: Hippie Barkas!]]> After helping us do an All-Czech Project Car Hell last week, our Czech Connection, bobash, now sends us some shots of a hippified Barkas B1000. See, an East German van is far more suitable for patchouli-scented adventures than its West German counterpart. We're starting to think it's time for a visit to the Czech Republic... [Picasaweb] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=305466&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Abandoned House Still On LA Freeway's Shoulder]]> So you got your guys who don't tie down their ladders, boxes, or dinette sets clogging up the freeways with their crap. But what can you say about a man who lost his house on the freeway? And this is no mobile home; it's a small single-family home that Patrick Richardson was trying to move from Santa Monica to Santa Clarita. Sadly, Mr. Richardson (who had a permit to move the house) made a few mistakes, including failure to judge overpass height, and the house has now spent close to two weeks at the side of the 101 in Cahuenga Pass. [Associated Press] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=303252&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Little Tree, Fresh As A Junkyard Breeze!]]> As some of you might remember, I like to photograph Little Tree air fresheners in junkyard cars. Not long ago, I was at a local self-service yard located right at the very edge of San Francisco Bay, and the wind was howling cold and lonesome off the water and through the picked-over corpses of the cars. That's when I spotted this 80s Cadillac with a "New Car Smell" Little Tree twisting in the wind. So I had to film it. You'll find one in every car, kid. You'll see. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=303251&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[In Russia, Safe Driving Benefits YOU!]]> There's apparently no end to the amazing car-related stuff the folks at English Russia provide for us; here's a vintage Russian driver's-ed handbook with scary illustrations and lines such as "Don't use vodka as a fuel/Or you'll crash your engine cruel." Best of all, the cars seem to be Zaporozhets! [English Russia] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=302543&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[In Russia, Zen Is Going To Find You!]]> This turkey (spotted by the eagle-eyed Seth L) is based on the teeny Lada Niva 4x4. Don't know the Niva? Imagine a Honda 600 Coupe crossbred with a Yugo. The Niva was Soviet Russia's attempt at a bar bones Subaru. Of course we're hoping our yellow friend here is based off the Cossack model. Also, nice roof rack/brush guard, dork. Enjoy! Update: Another jacked up Niva! [englishrussia.com] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=299710&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[In Russia, Nature Hates YOU!]]> Still not convinced that englishrussia.com is the greatest website on earth? Check these beauties out: What Russian Autumn Is Really About? Das Vedanya! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=299653&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[What Was On Your High School Bedroom Wall?]]> We're fairly convinced that Jalopnik is actually just a self help group for those suffering withdrawals from lack of hot bedroom poster action. We were all there, which is why we're all here. I actually still have one with a red 308, a white Countach and a black 911 that says "Dreams" at the bottom. I also still have a promo poster from the local Porsche dealer which showed an airborne 911 complete with a plate that reads, "LIEBERMAN" in hot blue dot matrix. I had the above Countach, plus another Countach in white. I had a Porsche 959, an Aston Martin V8 Vantage (though I am pretty sure that was torn from Car & Driver rather than an actual poster), the Benetton F1 team, a Corvette ZR-1, an LM002 (also torn from a magazine), an F40, a Testarosa and at least 3 Shelby Cobras. I also had a 288 GTO poster, though I am sure at the time I thought it was a 308. Quite possibly more. Oddly, I also had the then current gen III Quattroporte, but I was a weird kid. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=299188&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[The 3-Letter Words Your License Plate Can't Say In California!]]> We all know that the killjoys at the DMV will reject your custom license plate application if you've requested something cool like SCHLONG or YAY PCP (though they didn't stop some Silicon Valley dentist from getting a tasteful HITLER plate for his Mercedes a while back). But what about the three-letter combos that are excluded from the numbering sequence of plain ol' regular plates? We're not shocked to see that they'll never stamp out a plate with sequences such as FCK, SOB, or KKK... but what's wrong with JAZ, PEA, QVA, and YEP? [CALPL8S, scroll to bottom] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=299121&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[What's The Worst Car Of All Time?]]> OK smarty-pants— you dumped all over Dan Neil for being a communist, liberal elite, ivory tower, Jane Fonda French kissing, Volvo/Saab/Prius driving, latte-sipping, car-hating hippie socialist. Sure, he's dead wrong on the Rambo Lambo, but 49 out of 50 ain't bad. So now it's your turn. Show us what you got. Bonus points will be awarded for beating Dan's Cimarron write up ("Everything that was wrong, venal, lazy and mendacious about GM in the 1980s was crystallized in this flagrant insult to the good name and fine customers of Cadillac") and coming up with a viable worst 10 list. Super bonus points will be showered upon the individual who deems to bang out a 50 worst. My vote? See above. Good luck. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=298276&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Time Magazine: We Gotcher 50 Worst Cars Of All Time!]]> Since we don't really consider Time Magazine the definitive source for things automotive, we aren't surprised at the wrongness of some of their (well, actually Pulitzer-winning writer Dan Neil's) choices. The Model T? The Fuller Dymaxion? The '71 Imperial? There's something to piss off all of us here, though admittedly they did include such citrusy favorites as the execrable V8-6-4 Caddy and the breathtakingly unreliable Triumph TR-7. In any case, you get a list of a bunch of interesting cars- just the thing for a Monday morning. [Time] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=297909&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[For The Gearheaded Goth Kid Who Has Everything!]]> From Pushin' Daisies (seller of "mortuary novelties") comes this somewhat disturbing 1:18 scale '66 Caddy hearse, complete with coffin! Now, if only they made a pink Barbie Edition toy hearse - with Ken in the coffin and Barbie wielding a shovel, of course- why, then we'd really have something. [Pushin' Daisies] via [BoingBoing] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=296257&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Legless Drunk Steers Truck While Legged Drunk Works Pedals]]> So who's actually driving the vehicle, legally speaking, when one guy's at the wheel and another is operating the pedals? And what if the guy at the wheel has no legs? Sadly, the case of Harvey Miller and Edwin H. Marzinske won't be the one that goes all the way to the Supreme Court for a ruling on this burning legal issue, because both of them were schnockered when they tried to drive a Chevy truck home from their Blatz-chugging Wisconsin revelry. [International Herald Tribune] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=295231&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Why Do People Pimp Their Rides?]]> Today's question hearkens back to Philosophy Week, but with a slight comedic twist. Seriously, yesterday's QOTD proved that we've all seen pimped rides (or at least what in the owner's mind qualified as "pimped") and with very few exceptions they're all pathetic. How many times have you seen a base model 300C with its anemic 2.7-liter V6 barely able to rotate the 22" dubs and sporting at least $5,000 worth of bling? Why not initially spend all that money on a HEMI? Or better yet, the SRT8 6.1-Liter HEMI? Who chooses looks over power? Obviously, these are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools. But still, what possesses a person to do these terrible things? More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=294971&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[You Call That A Moment Of Zen? This Is A Moment Of Frigging Zen]]>
Add your own captions, please! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=294520&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[The Worst Pimp Job You've Ever Seen?]]> We're going to let commenter JayP71 handle this one:
I was driving through my neighborhood last night and noted my landmark for a turn onto the street that crosses mine. This landmark is a early '90s Caddy. The vinyl roof is long gone. The creative owner has replaced it with black sandpaper-like friction tape. He was apparently so proud of how this came out that he carried the theme down to the trunk. In addition this car as the 'Gold' kit, performed with house paint and coarse brushes. Rusty too wide and undersized tires finish out the look of this fine machine. Which brings up the thought: What is the worst pimp out job you've seen inflicted on a helpless automobile?
Living where we've lived (all over the Eastside of Los Angeles) we've seen so many horrid pimp-misfires that nothing specific is coming to mind. However, we did know a guy who was serious about getting hydraulics for his 1984 Dodge Colt. You? And the above is the best pimp job, in case you were curious. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=294516&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[This Cadillac's Security System Is Positively Riveting!]]> Roaming the rows of my favorite self-service junkyard in scintillating Hayward, California, I caught sight of an 80s Caddy with hasps and padlocks on the driver's side doors. Now, that's something you see from time to time, but I wasn't prepared for what I saw on the other side of the car... More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=293779&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[American Chopper Dudes Build Mobile Barbecue Pit]]> Last weekend I picked up this great Mingus album called "Music Written For Monterey 1965. Not Heard... Played in its Entirety at UCLA." While not quite as transcendent as "The Great Concert of Charles Mingus," the UCLA record absolutely rocks. Especially when the band flubs up the track "Once Upon A Time, There Was A Holding Corporation Called Old America" twice in a row and Chollie boots half of them off the stage. So the octet becomes a quartet but then absolutely smokes "Ode to Dizzy and Bird." What does any of this have to do with the picture of the three-wheeled contraption above? Absolutely nothing at all. You go ahead and try and write a paragraph about a barbecue/motorcycle, we dare you. Photo courtesy of RUB. [New York Magazine] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=293452&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Junkyard Find: Who's Your Doob-ernatorial Candidate?]]> When you're building weird stuff out of car parts (or if you rely entirely on cheap-ass beater cars for transportation), you'll be spending a lot of time in your local junkyards. I've always loved junkyards anyway, so I'm often at my favorite yard, sniffing through cars like a junk-food-mad bear digging through campground dumpsters... More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=288387&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Haulin' Goods In My Prizmino!]]> The Geo Prizm - a California-built Toyota Sprinter (aka Japan-market luxo-Corolla)- was a great car and all, but (like so many front-wheel-drive subcompacts) it suffered from the lack of a truck bed. Luckily, the world is full of ingenious folks with Sawzall in one hand and Master Cylinder of Schlitz in the other, and thus: Prizmino! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=292057&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Vespamino!]]> We saw all sorts of little vehicles zipping around as folks prepped their vintage race cars, from Segways to golf carts, but this was by far the coolest (and most useful for hauling Whitworth socket sets, cases of $50-a-quart oil, etc). This Vespa-with-truck-bed looked to be in great shape... but what's up with the drip pan? More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=291134&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[In Russia, Post-Soviet Era Confounds YOU!]]> Is this what the glorious Soviet workers in the Zhiguli plant had in mind back when they built this car (Russian car experts, please correct me if I'm guessing wrong on this car's VAZ-ness)? A rolling advertisement for a clique of capitalist profiteers, growing fat on the fruits of the labor of others? Who knows? What we can say is that the wooden hubcaps are the best thing is Russian wheel decor since the Red Star wheels on the Stalinmobile! [English Russia] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=290735&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Crack Open A Cold Powerglide Road Soda, Buddy!]]> Back when I was young and broke and living with a houseful of other young, broke slackers, we figured out that it was possible to make our own beer; once the beermaking hardware had been purchased and enough non-twist-off bottles had been obtained, the opaque, yeasty homebrew we bootlegged up in the garage cost about $5 per case to produce and usually tasted tolerably good. Well, tolerable, anyway. Thing was, guests at our parties were afraid to drink beer out of ominous-looking unlabeled bottles, so I quickly set to work with the old ransom-note cut-and-paste layout technique... More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=286677&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Disability Can't Stop Triple Amputee From Driving, But John Law Can!]]> Michael Francis Wiley, who lost both arms and a leg in a horrific electrocution accident at age 13, never let his disability stop him from driving (he uses his toes to turn the ignition key and steers with an arm stump). In fact, he once had a legitimate driver's license. But with a lengthy rap sheet (including a bust for leading police on a high-speed chase in a Corvette), his latest bust for driving without a license is the final straw; he's looking down the barrel of a five-year sentence. [International Herald Tribune] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=285372&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Name That Car]]> This one even stumped Murliee Martin. Here's a few hints: It's not a Maverick. It was designed by Pininfarina but is not Italian. Only one example was ever made, yet it is technically a production car. No? Nothing? One more hint and another pic after the jump. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=284673&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Beelzebub's Minions In SF Say Taxi Medallion #666 Must Stay]]> Veteran San Francisco cabbie Michael Byrne was assigned Taxi Medallion 666 last year, and since then he claims to have been on the receiving end of bad luck (no doubt he gets a puking passenger at least once per shift). So, he went to the city's taxi commission in an attempt to get them to give him a new number and ditch the ol' Six Hundred Threescore and Six one. No dice, say city officials. The hearing featured the head of the cabdriver's union wearing red devil horns and standing up for the Evil One: "How dare you take Lucifer's number away?'' he demanded. No, really- we couldn't make this stuff up! [San Francisco Chronicle] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=282838&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Give Your 924 Some Enamel Coat-O, Then Jump In A Manhole!]]> We're not sure we want to get a translation of this ad from you Japanese speakers out there- it seems more bewilderingly profound when we can't understand what the tuxedo-clad barefoot protagonist and his sidekick are hollering at each other. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=280388&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Wood-Burning Yugo Breaks Free Of Petroleum's Shackles!]]> With the assistance of his engineer son (named Igor, of course) Crafty Balkan Yugomeister Anton Peterka has converted his '85 Yugo to run on the combustion gases created by burning wood. This isn't exactly a new idea (plenty of wood-burning cars limped around Europe during World War II) but applying it to a Yugo just seems so right! Hey, think there's a way to make it run on burning tires? [Zastava Yugo Page] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=280336&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Off-Road Clocks Galore]]> I am so getting this, putting it on a chain around my neck and going out for coffee singing, "I can't do nothing for you, man. Flavor Flav's got problems of his own." That's actually a normal morning for me, minus the 10-inch Suzuki Samurai wall clock. One AA battery not included. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=278606&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[I'll Pick You Up In My Exciting Version, Babe!]]> It's hard to think of modern-day Toyotas as having sufficient personality to be funny, but the Japan-market Exciting Version Edition early-90s Carina manages to get the job done for us. Here's a fairly amusing blog piece by a Japan-dwelling gringo who picks up his own Exciting Version Carina: [LeClau.com]. Come on, Toyota, bring us an Exciting Version AE86! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=278364&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Want To Get Hassled By The Man? Fiberweed Van Air Freshener!]]> We can't be sure that this air freshener, inspired by the Stoniest Vehicle In Motion Picture History, actually smells like reefer. But we can guarantee the smell won't matter as soon as a member of the law enforcement community takes a look at this thing dangling from the mirror of your vehicle; regardless of actual circumstances, you might as well have an eight-tube hookah stuffed with a pound of hash-oil-drenched Northern Lights smoldering away on the dash and a pair of tiny rectangular-framed Tea Shades shielding your crimson orbs. But hey, it's still a cool air freshener! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=276843&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Va-ROOM! Blown Small-Block Chevy Ring!]]> Say you want to show the world your love for that oil-leaking, pennies-per-horsepower wonder, the Chevrolet small-block. What better way than a huge chunk of sterling silver shaped like an 8-71-blown small-block Chevy on your finger? The artist behind this fine piece of jewelry has made rings for Dale Earnhardt, so you know he's serious (though not as serious as the charges against you if you slug some Ford lover with this thing in a bar fight). More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=276328&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Have Your Skoda And Eat It Too!]]> So apparently everyone in Europe has seen this ad, like, 20 bjillion times by now, and now it's our turn to jump on the Skoda Cake bandwagon. Those crazy Czechs (actually, their ad-agency minions) went and made a Skoda Fabia out of cake and candy, complete with cake interior and engine, not to mention Jell-O taillights. But that's not the best part... More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=276073&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[How About a Citation? Dave Campo's Got a Car Right... HERE!]]> Some madman has taken every Dave Campo car-dealership ad he or she could find and edited them into what can only be described as a nightmarish-yet-compelling compilation. You'll see a broad swath of early-to-mid-80s Mopars, with a smattering of other Detroit iron. He's no Cal Worthington, but then who is? – Murilee Martin More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=275324&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[What Would Chewbacca Drive?]]> Another great question from a presumably great reader named Alex A. Have a read:
In regards to the post on the GNX and the overwrought use of "Darth Vader" as potential owner to many a sinister blacked out ride, my question is: what would the other Star Wars characters drive? Because Han would totally drive a 455 equipped GMC motor home, your worship.
Brillaint, though we see Han in an E63 AMG Wagon with a bald front tire and rust. Lots and lots of rust. Still, the question rules. Have at it. – Jonny Lieberman More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=275042&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[LIAZamino!]]> Just the thing for hauling your best buddies, livestock, vodka distillery, and Ekranoplan parts! Those resourceful Russians have done it again, this time taking a Soviet-era LIAZ bus and adding a truck bed. Check out the original LIAZ interiors- that was back when men were men and bus seats were steel benches! – Murilee Martin More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=274399&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Bureaucratic Screwup Results In Wienermobile Bust]]> So you're driving the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile in Tucson, just minding your own business, when you get pulled over by angry cops who think you've stolen what may be the most conspicuous vehicle in the world. Turns out the license plates (reading YUMMY) had been stolen and replaced a while back, but Johnny Law's database hadn't caught up with the paperwork yet. Having experienced the joy of a computer in Sacramento randomly spitting out 17 warrants for my arrest (for nonexistent vehicle-code violations, meaning no bail would have been possible), I know exactly how this little snafu went down. – Murilee Martin More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=273482&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Rappin' Ford Trucks: They're Rough! They're Tough!]]> Any rap that manages to rhyme "connoisseur" with "door" deserves a look, especially when it's performed by John Riggins for a mid-80s Ford dealership commercial. Cal Worthington clearly had nothing to fear from this guy, but his work still deserves a space in the Sleazeball Huckster Hall of Fame. – Murilee Martin More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=272039&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Can You Identify The Cars On The Berwyn Car Spindle?]]> We'll spot you the Fox Fairmont, and several of the others are slam-dunks for any semi-knowledgeable car geek. But who can identify all eight cars on the very famous Car Spindle, located in a shopping mall parking lot in Berwyn, Illinois? Come on, it's way more fun than slaving in The Man's vile salt mines on a fine Monday morning. – Murilee Martin More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=271794&view=rss&microfeed=true