And so it has come to pass, that Bryan Salomone, the World's Most Stereotypical Lamborghini Owner, is selling his Lamborghini. What will come of this world? What will come of Bryan? What will come of his "Concubine?" Will he no longer be #WINNING? Who knows. But the world is that much darker today.
We loved Bryan from the moment we met him. A divorce attorney who loved to degrade not only his girlfriends (?), but all of humanity, he also claimed to know Ice-T. He made music videos about his car. The one named "Concubine" was the love of his life. And he was from Long Island, to boot.
Now Bryan put his Lamborghini up for sale on cars.com, because where else would you put up a Lamborghini up for sale. I would write this whole post!!! in the manner in which he wrote!!! the description!!!!!!!! but then it would pretty much become unreadable. The car's got alligator accents, though, so you know it's tasteful.
Nevertheless, Bryan's a genuine enthusiast and it would be nice to see the old Lambo go to a nice home, as long as you don't ask what happened inside the car. We just hope he's replacing it with something even better.
Here's the whole vehicle description:
2012 LAMBORGHINI AVENTADOR COUPE THIS IS THE WORLD FAMOUS CHROME AVENTADOR, THIS SUPER CAR HAS TRAVELED THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN PHOTOGRAPHED MILLIONS OF TIMES!!!!! OVER $30K WAS INVESTED TO WRAP THIS PUPPY FIRST IN CLEAR, THEN IN 153 PIECES CHROME WITH ALLIGATOR ACCENTS, THEN CLEARED AGAIN, WOW! THE CAR IS ARANCIO ARGOS (ORANGE) UNDERNEATH WITH BLACK AND ORANGE 2 TONE HEATED POWER LEATHER SEATS WHICH STILL LOOKS LIKE NEW! A HUGE MSRP OF $418,000!!!! THE FACTORY EXHAUST UPGRADE AND PERFORMANCE UPGRADES ARE A MUST AND ANOTHER ALMOST $10K, THERE ARE MANY OTHER UPGRADES ALSO! ONLY 22,700 CARFAX CERTIFIED 1 OWNER HAVE BEEN COVERED GLOBALLY WITH PICTURES TAKEN IN MORE BEAUTIFUL BACK DROPS THAN 99% OF OUR POPULATION HAVE ENCOUNTERED!!! NO WORRIES A BRAND NEW CLUTCH AND UPDATED 2013 GEARBOX WAS INSTALLED AT THE FACTORY IN ITALY! NOTHING LIKE GOING STRAIGHT TO THE TOP EVERY SERVICE WAS PERFORMED BY THE DEALER SINCE NEW! IT NEVER MISSED A VISIT, YES IT STILL HAS PLENTY OF WARRANTY, THERE IS TOO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS CAR SO IT CAN EASILY BE VIEWED ON GOOGLE, INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, JUST TYPE CHROME AVENTADOR AND U WILL SEE FOR YOURSELF, THE CAR HAS NEVER HAD AND ACCIDENTS, INCIDENTS , SCARS, NEVER SEEN A TRACK DAY, ONLY ONE DRIVER, NEVER ABUSED, JUST DRIVEN FOR PROMOTIONS, SHOWS, RALLIES, CHARITY EVENTS, GIRO'S, AND MOSTLY HIGHWAY, BEEN ON MULTIPLE MAGAZINE COVERS, WINS EVERY SHOW, CELBRITY PHOTO SHOOTS, EVEN ON A VIDEO GAME!!!!! MAN I COULD WRITE MOBY DICK ABOUT THIS IS A TRUE ICON TO THE LAMBORGHINI BRAND, PLEASE CONTACT OR CALL 888-754-5241 FOR MORE INFO, WORLDWIDE SHIPPING IS AVAILABLE, REMAINING FACTORY WARRANTY CAR NEED NOTHING BUT A CROWD, WE WELCOME ANY TRADES WILL CONSIDER REASONABLE OFFERS AND LOVE CARS, VISIT OUR NEW SITE IN HOPEWELL NEW JERSEY THE SUBURB OF PRINCETON, ONLY 60 MILES FOM NYC AND 30 MILES FROM PHILADELPHIA LET US KNOW WHEN YOUR COMING INTERSTATEMOTORSPORT VISIT US ONLINE OR IN PERSON
It's also got an ashtray (with lighter). And U will see for yourself.
H/t to Douglas Sonders!