Photo credit: GM

In the automotive industry, no awards are more coveted, more prestigious than the Jalopnik Car of the Year Awards. Our judges spend months painstakingly reviewing which motorcars are worthy of this legendary distinction. Without further ado, it is with great joy that I bring you the Jalopnik 2016 Cars and Trucks of the Year. For the year 1987.

1987 was a good year. Brougham aesthetics brought quasi-luxury to the masses, BMWs were still “the ultimate driving machine,” and the Porsche 911 was still cooled by God’s air, not a filthy, unholy radiator.

Advertisement

Following in the great tradition of 1997 Motor Trend Car of the Year Chevrolet Malibu and 2017 Canadian Car of the Year Best New Sports/Performance Car Hyundai Elantra (Sport), this list has been capriciously chosen based on our own personal whims with a heavy bias towards the cars our friends and family let us hoon for free.

Best Sedan - Cadillac Fleetwood

Photo credit: GM

If you must arrive in style, don’t settle for a lesser couch-on-wheels. Get a Fleetwood. We don’t usually favor front-wheel-drive for anything, but in this case, we’ve got a big soft spot for the streamlined looks of the C-body Fleetwood over the blocky, older rear-wheel-drive Brougham. That’s right: you’re floating down the road in the height of 1987 land yacht technology.

Advertisement

Advertisement

This was a hotly contested category for 1987, as Stef’s mom owned both an Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight and a Cadillac Sedan de Ville of this generation.

Best Truck - Daihatsu Rocky

Photo credit: Daihatsu

Is it possible not to smile when you see one of these baby 4x4s running around? No. No, it is not. Even the name “Rocky” is cheerful and fun.

Best Compact Car - BMW 325iX

Photo credit: BMW

The delightful all-wheel-drive E30 325iX was one of BMW’s top-end models, letting you hit the dirt in supreme Bavarian comfort. We still want one.

Best Hatchback - Honda CRX

Photo credit: Honda

The CRX will still pound you into the sand at an autocross, nearly 30 years later. Best of all, there’s nothing on the road that looks like it, either.

Best Sports Car - Ferrari F40

Photo credit: Ferrari via Favcars

The very last Ferrari personally approved by Enzo Ferrari was one of the marque’s greatest. It wasn’t just the most powerful Ferrari to-date in 1987, but it featured a super-lightweight body made of kevlar, carbon fiber and aluminum. It goes like stink. Let’s be honest, we would have picked “F40" for every single category here if it would have fit.

Most Glorious People’s Soviet Bloc Car - Trabant 601 Universal Kombi

Photo credit: Favcars

Look, you don’t stick around since 1963 without winning something.

Best Porsche 944 - Porsche 924S

Photo credit: Porsche via Favcars

Take the running bits from the 944 and put them in a lighter 924 body. Perfection.

{Drooling and incoherent mumbling} - Lancia Delta HF

Hrrrrrnnnnnnnggggggh


We hope you have enjoyed Jalopnik’s 2016 Cars of the Year from 1987! Please share this list far and wide with the angriest of comments about what cars you would have picked instead, or the smuggest of notes about how your favorite car made the list.