I don't know if this is single-handedly the greatest song devoted to service center employees ever, or the worst (hint: it's the worst). The five-minute-long epic is laced with gross and heavy-handed innuendo, and at the end you're just sort of left with gnawing questions that you don't want answered.

The lyrics in this thing are just unsettling. Here's a delightful/horrifying little sampling (remember, this is about service centers):

I like them to be strong,

that they catch me when I skid.

Like them to turn me on.

I thought that some of them did.

But just as I needed a helping hand

So many men were "out of service," not like you...

Yeah.

It goes on in that fashion for five minutes. Five minutes. About service centers. For a little perspective, "Life In The Fast Lane" by the Eagles, a song also ostensibly about cars, only runs for 4:46. It also doesn't help that the lady singing it, while she has a fine singing voice I suppose, seems to be channeling the vocal style of whatever your mom was listening to in the mid-1990s.

Oh, and then there's this monstrosity:

Mercedes Releases Epic Innuendo-Laced Song For Its Service WorkersS

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

And finally – I'm not insinuating anything here – the entire thing is racially segregated.

Just saying.

H/t to Carscoops!