The 2017 BMW M760Li xDrive looks comfortable and enormous, just like every other 7-Series. But this one will be the first car to run the company’s new M Performance TwinPower Turbo 6.6 liter V12. Jason Statham will be stoked.

Hiding under the vast hood of this super sedan is a thick sheet of pretty plastic.

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Under that is 600 horsepower (at 5,500 RPM) and 590 lb-ft of torque (at 1,500 RPM). Looks like Alpina won’t get all the big-body glory this year after all.

BMW claims 0 to 60 in right around 3.9 seconds, with an electronically limited top speed of 155 MPH. If you’re heading to the Autobahn and need a little more, I’m sure somebody can find the right fuse to pull. The speedometer goes to 205, after all.

Then again maybe not, because it sounds like the car’s pretty dialed in electronically. All kinds of driver aids from collision warnings to semi-automated driving in heavy traffic are baked into the car’s brain, while little “///M” and “V12" badges adorn the entire car.

The M760Li’s awesomeness is accentuated with a mild body kit, which you can delete for a more reserved look with the “Excellence” package. The speedometer is also lowered to 160 MPH. So the M760Li xDrive Excellence is the sleeper version; all the juice but none of the decorations.

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You’ve got to be a rare bird to buy into that one, right? Isn’t advertising excess at the core of this car’s purpose? Well I guess if you want the biggest, fastest and meanest BMW sedan, yet want everyone to think you’re just in a very large and very fast BMW sedan; you’re an Excellence package kind of cat.

Regardless of which BMW M760Li xDrive variant you chose, that waterfall of power at your right foot will go to the wheels through an eight-speed automatic and rear-wheel biased AWD. BMW says the M’s shift schedule is more aggressive than the regular 7-Series, and an Active Steering system makes the wheel action more “direct” than the setup in the regular car.

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Specifically, “the Active Steering system in the new BMW M760Li xDrive, which complements the more direct steering ratio at the front axle by adjusting the steering angle of the rear wheels according to the situation at hand. This reduces steering effort at low speeds and in dynamic driving, further enhancing agility and active safety,” BMW explains in their press release.

20" M Cerium Grey wheels are exclusive, and so are the 19" brakes behind them.

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BMW has not listed an MSRP but you know what they say; if you have to ask, kick rocks.

Actually, let’s see; a 2015 750i xDrive starts at about $97,000. If the nicest 5-Series starts at $69,000 and a new M5 is about $94,000, I think it’s fair to estimate that the M760Li xDrive will be around $130,000. But why buy that when you could get a whole used car lot for less!

Oh right; because you want to be a beastly ass-hauling businessman. The more I look at this car, the less I can blame you. The 7-Series really has come thundering back as a devastatingly elegant cruiser, hasn’t it? And with a turbocharged V12, this thing has a lot of potential to get valets in trouble.

Images via BMW


Contact the author at andrew@jalopnik.com.