Seems even retired warmongers are feeling the pinch at the pump these days, as everybody's favorite former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, has purchased the least-aggressive form of transport in the world, a Vespa. Yes indeed, Rummy has picked up a shiny new LXV 150 to use for scooting around the Maryland seaboard while getting 60 MPG and being ridiculed by every biker he passes. Wonder if he will be followed by a phalanx of secret service boys in black Suburbans? [Examiner]