Like Hell The Hyundai Genesis Is The 'Car Of Texas'

Listen: automotive awards are bullshit. Total, utter, complete, foul-smelling bullshit. They're bullshit whether they're compiled by insurance companies, safety groups, and most of all by automotive journalists. Case in point: the 2015 Hyundai Genesis was just named "Car of Texas."

That's right. The Hyundai Genesis, a South Korean luxury sedan built in Ulsan, South Korea, is the "Car of Texas."

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Maybe this hits home for me more than most bullshit automotive awards because I'm a Texan, and like most Texans I'm quite proud of this fact. And as someone who is intimately familiar with Texas, I can tell you the Hyundai Genesis has no business being named "Car of Texas."

Proving once and for all that the car industry thinks automotive journalists exist only to give them free advertising rather than be sharp critics of products people spend tens of thousands of their hard-earned dollars on — and far too many automotive journalists are happy to go along with this if it means occasional free food and booze — the Genesis secured this award thanks to the shrimp-eating and cocktail-drinking hard-working members of the Texas Auto Writers Association.

The announcement was made recently at "the annual Texas Auto Roundup" at the Texas Motor Speedway, which is kind of cringeworthy in and of itself. Here goes:

As with years past, the 2014 Texas Auto Roundup had active TAWA media members evaluate almost 50 of the industry's leading sedans, coupes, family vehicles and performance cars. Each entry was put through its paces on the outer roads and inner circuit of Dallas/Fort Worth's Texas Motor Speedway. For 2014, 13 segment awards were named as well as supplemental awards for Best New Feature, Best New Interior and Best Value. Two title awards were given out as well – Family Car of Texas and Car of Texas.

You hear that? After a brief drive around the speedway and probably through some of the nicer DFW suburbs, the Genesis has been deemed worthy enough to represent the values of an entire state. But wait, there's more!

"TAWA members were easily impressed by the 2015 Hyundai Genesis, enough to name it the top honor Car of Texas," said Michael Marrs, TAWA President. "Luxury is important to Texans but so is value. The Genesis hits all the right buttons as it is more luxurious and dynamic than before all while still holding on to the namesake's incredible value."

"Easily impressed." That's how they describe themselves. Jesus Christ, I can't even.

This, of course, comes from a press release issued by Hyundai, whose vice president of corporate and product planning will be all too happy to put this award in their next set of ads.

A few caveats here: I'm not ragging on the Hyundai Genesis itself. From what I have heard, the new one is quite good. The old one was a huge step up for the company, and I've long been a fan of the Genesis Coupe. I know plenty of people who own Hyundais, and some of them are even Texans!

But come on, the only way the Genesis relates to Texas is that it happens to be sold there. It's about as Texan as Piers Morgan eating gelato from a bowler hat on the Williamsburg Bridge. Or soccer.

Wanna call it "Texas Auto Writers Car Of The Year?" Sure, go for it. People still won't give a shit, but it's more honest.

Like Hell The Hyundai Genesis Is The 'Car Of Texas'

The only thing that can truly qualify as the "Car of Texas" is a car built in Texas, so take your pick between the Tahoe/Suburban/Yukon/Escalade or the Tundra and Tacoma. (I'll let the Ford F-150 have a shot at the title too since enough Texans drive it and you can get one with all that King Ranch crap on it.) They do have a "Truck of Texas," and the Ram 1500 got it last year even though it's made in Michigan.

In conclusion: "Car of Texas" is bullshit. Motor Trend Car of the Year is bullshit. The Edmunds Best Retained Value Award is bullshit. World Performance Car of the Year is total bullshit because this year it was the Porsche 911 GT3 and no one can drive those at the moment because they might cause the fiery death.

And the Hyundai Genesis, as good as it is, is not the "Car of Texas." I'm glad I could clear that up for you. Y'all have a nice day now.