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"That lawn's ain't gonna mow itself," she says. "But it's hailing God's dandruff out there," he replies. "Never you mind. Get on that tractor and don't come back 'till it's mowed," she says. Thanks to SWAT, there he is. More »
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Remember the great land speed records waged between Art Arfons and Craig Breedlove that pushed speeds to 500+ mph and more? This is just like that. Only slower. And with lawn mowers. More »
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What's one activity that hasn't yet been painted with the green brush? Mowing! Luckily we're more excited about the Husqvarna Panthera Leo's five motors than we are its recycled materials. More »
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Monster Mower? Why yes, thank you. This beast looks like a creation which leapt, fully formed, from the mind of Home Improvement's power crazed Tim Taylor. More power! Huge tires! Car smashing burnouts! Yes, yes, oh God yes. Hey let's see if it floats! Yee-haw — it does! This baby is the ultimate fishing platform and mayhem machine all in one. Our inner redneck is squirming with delight, eyeballing the junked riding mower in the back of the garage with a newfound sense of glee. (NSFW soundtrack lyrics and thanks to the multiple tipsters) [ToolMonger] More »
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Sometimes it's so easy to be proud of your fellow statesmen. Let's say you live in Adrian, Michigan, your wife has taken the car, you have run out of wine, and there's a snowstorm raging outside. What would you do? If you were Frank Kozumplik, you would hop on your John Deere lawn mower and drive down the middle of the street to the liquor store to get some more. Police arrested Mr. Kozumplik after catching up to him as he made his way home with four more bottles and a 0.20 BAC. The coppers seized the mower and released Mr. Kozumplik to his home, where he likely finished his bottles and made another attempt on a child's big wheel. [via MLive.com] More »
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This conceptual F1 lawn mower is so hot that the grass would thank you and your kids would be fighting over who gets to do the yard work. Masterfully designed and rendered by Frenchman Kadeg Boucher, this sleek beast features a number of clever touches including an LCD gauge steering wheel, F1-style front wing, race-helmeted spark plug, cockpit, centrally located pull crank handle and all sorts of other F1 touches as seen in the gallery below. More »
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We've dropped love to MowZilla before, but if you didn't see it before, it's "...the Original Nitrous powered push lawn mower! It is equipped with a nitrous purge, a Cherry Bomb muffler, K&N airfilter and NOS Powershot with 20lb bottle!" Sounds sweet, right? Yeah, and that's why we wanted to drop an update on the enterprisin' Callie's Kustoms, goin' with the advice a certain fruit-on-the-bottom dessert once told us, have realized where they can really make some money — as they've now got an online game, t-shirts and oh yes, video. Why didn't they have video after they built the first MowZilla? Well, let's let dual-use Jordon/Callie (both tipster and the customizer him/herself) tell you in their own words: More »
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One summer, we had a job cutting the grass for several hookers who rented a house around the corner from our local middle school. We never confirmed they were hookers, but they voluntarily paid three times our normal mowing rate, and guys in suits often "visited" via a side entrance. Their unkempt yard had been attracting unwanted attention from the neighbors, and we slaved over their tangle of crabgrass, weeds and briars for a week before the place looked as well-tended as the other houses on the block. We netted $150, which was more than enough for an Atari. If we'd been true entrepreneurs, we'd have invested in a Dixie Chopper, had they been invented back then. We could have cornered the suburban whorehouse landscaping market. More »
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Ah, the new-school power of nitrous oxide blended with the jet set trash and no star world of Cherry Bomb mufflers, all wedded to a hand-me-down lawnmower. The hooligans at Callie's Customs came up with what should by all rights be a massively overcarbureted mower (an Edelbrock 750? WTF!?!), but apparently the things spins up to a 12k redline, which is absolutely ludicrous from a garden-variety one-lunger like this. Nutzoid. [Thanks to Jason for the tip.] More »
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Take one Memorial Day celebration among friends, add sufficient quantities of alcohol and lawn implements and one craggy yard, and you've got yerself the res-pee of some hoon-like conduct. Really, what's a lawn tractor good for when you've got no lawn? That's right. Racin'. [If you've got a video worthy of Jalopnik's Hoon of the Day, don' be shy, send the link to tips@jalopnik.com.] More »
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We've always dreamed of owning a Honda riding mower stuffed with a CBR XX Blackbird motor in it. Unfortunately, right now we're a bit short short of acreage in the lawn department. Plus, the thing would probably eliminate more grass with its rear tires than it would with the blade. But still, boys dream of one day owning a riding mower, and men dream of someday racing one against other men on them. Well, some men do, especially if they're partial to monikers like "Geronimow," "Sodzilla" and "Prograsstinator." More »
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