Innumerate Aggie Spends $115,000 On '12THMAN' License Plate

That's a photo of proud Texan A&M graduate and Texas governor Rick Perry holding the '12THMAN' license plate that sold for a (state) record $115,000. How do you know this is a sad waste of money? Rick Perry is a proud A&M graduate. Enough said.

Actually, I'll say more, because I went to the University of Texas and while A&M isn't our enemy, they like to think they are so why not?

You see, A&M is all about tradition, even if that tradition is largely just dumbed down line-dancing to poor renditions of martial music while quasi-fascists with no intention of joining the military prance around in Teddy Roosevelt-esque uniforms in front of their all-male homoerotic cheering squad, of which Rick Perry was also a proud member.

One of their proudest traditions is the idea that they're all a '12th Man' on the field when they play football even though any 12 of them combined won't make as much money as this one guy.

Basically, they can't count and they've made a slogan of it. Here's a guy who didn't win explaining to The Dallas Morning News what that means by not explaining it.

Joe Adams of Katy was one of the bidders on the plate. He said that he couldn’t convey the meaning of the 12th Man to a non-Aggie because it’s “bigger than I can describe.”

Other things bigger than your average Aggie can describe:

  • Evolution
  • How a telephone works
  • Why Monty Python is funny
  • The number of donuts in a dozen donuts

And those assholes are probably going to beat us at football the next time we play and I'm going to have to hear about it from my Aggie friends, family, and everyone else for a damn year...

UPDATE: Houston trial lawyer Tony Buzbee has been identified as the bidder and, according to this story, is donating it to a decorated war veteran who graduated from A&M. So, really, who is the asshole now?