In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

The Lamborghini Egoista made its surprise debut last night, and it is a greater thing than most can ever imagine, let alone appreciate. It took what was previously the most outrageous Lamborghini to date, the Veneno, and turned everything up to 11.

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

What surprised me is that this somehow didn't sit right with a good many of you. So much hate is already surrounding this car.

It’s ugly, the critics say. It’s gross. I hate it. I want my pacifier.

I nearly expected it to be served with some asiago, there’s so much whine already surrounding it. Here's what a few of you said about it in the earlier stories:

Design-wise, it's just filler.

Overall, someone seemed to have thought that wild and outrageous should now also include the concept of hideous.

Chances are, the person who buys this inherited most of that money.

Other than that, this looks like Lamborghini's strategy for millenials is to steal one of their high school notebooks and turn their cover doodles into cars.

That's not a flower, that's a skunk.

There is something wrong with making those stupendously fast, ridiculous cars look like the mess that results from the sleepwalking wet dream of an axe murderer. There's no subtlety to this car. There's no grace.

This is just really ugly. The bad kind of ugly, not just the "there's no such thing as bad publicity" kind. What were they thinking? Oh, right.

You’re wrong. All of you.

You lot all come around here, crying for the beauty of flowing lines and the grace of a ballerina. You want all that so much?

Go watch Black Swan.

Some sports cars can do that for you, if that’s what you want with your weak tea. But this isn’t a sports car, this is a true, honest to God supercar. A supercar made by Lamborghini.

And that’s supposed to be outrageous.

The whole point is to be hideous and loud and to make monocles pop out of eye sockets. That’s what outrageous is. Don’t believe me? Here’s your goddamn definition:

out·ra·geous

/outˈrājəs/

Adjective

  1. Shockingly bad or excessive.
  2. Wildly exaggerated or improbable.

This car has already done everything it’s set out to do. It looks like our future’s nightmare. Just looking at it makes you think of Satan gargling rocks.

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

LOOK AT THAT TARGETING RETICLE! As Top Gear often says, Lamborghinis should have machine guns and space thrusters. I haven’t seen those mentioned in the press release, but I believe with my whole boyish heart that it has those.

Reader Victorious Secret put it best:

Be happy Lamborghini is making cars that a 10 year old would design.

The Countach was any different? It wasn't stupidly overstyled and over the top and designed by a bunch of guys on LSD?

This is all this car is. Its a true Countach successor, not the Aventador or the Veneno.

He’s right. You all should be happy. Lamborghini just brought the world a seafoam green mid-engine supercar with orange rims, only one seat, a cockpit like a fighter jet, and a screaming V10. It looks like something created by a child with a wild imagination, a love of racing cars and no restrictions whatsoever.

And people are complaining about this... why?

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

I don’t know anybody that only started to like cars when they were 40. No, we all started to like cars when we were 10, because cars are loud, fast, and fun.

And if you don’t think this car looks loud, fast, or fun?

Well, then you’re wrong.

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS

In Defense Of The Batshit Insane Lamborghini EgoistaS