Tell you what, people of Europe. You keep on puttering around in your Ford Anglias and your Austin Metros and you leave all that hot, nasty, badass V8 horsepower to us 'Muricans. Deal?

Actually, there are several known Europeans who can handle a ton of power just fine. Chris Harris, the Top Gear hosts, the EVO staff, the guys at XCAR... there may even be one or two more out there I'm not aware of.

But this poor fellow who gets his first track trip in a Ford Mustang doesn't make the rest of you look good. He gets a harrowing ride around Ford's Lommel Proving Ground in Belgium, and proceeds to spend the full six minutes of it howling in sheer and utter terror. When it's over, he looks like he needs immediate medical attention.

Let's all cut the guy a break. If all you're used to is 1.4-liter diesel hatchbacks, you may not be adequately prepared for the sheer Americanosity that is the Mustang. We're quite proud of its speed, its noise, and its rear suspension design that predates the invention of fire.

Tell you what, buddy: I'll give you a tip for the next time you get a high velocity ride around a track. Just do what I do and hang on, occasionally scream "This is AWESOME!", and then when you're done, go off somewhere private and puke when no one's looking. Works every time!