Idiot Car Burglar Tries Dumbest Strategy Ever To Avoid Jail

Let's say a guy breaks into your car. He gets caught and seems headed to jail. Then he calls you and says he'll give you $500 if you pretend to be friends with him, and that's how his fingerprints ended up in your car. What would you say to him?

I'd tell him to go fuck himself, but that's just me. And apparently one car owner in the Houston area said the same thing, more or less.

Houston TV station KHOU reports that car burglary suspect Matt Sanchez called the woman whose car he's accused of breaking into and offered her $500. In exchange, he wanted her to tell the judge that the two of them are friends, which would explain his prints in her car.

The TV station reports that Sanchez even showed up at the woman's job with the cash. And when he did, police were waiting outside to arrest him again, presumably for witness tampering or something similar.

Well, so much for that idea.