On a cold night, a night very like this night, in dark, dark North Carolina, lived the terrifying Ghost Jeep. Some say you can still see her ghastly face, with her slitty eyes and her seven bent teeth in parking lots on the coldest nights!

All ye have to do to summon the Ghost Jeep is park a 2014 Jeep Cherokee in a parking lot, let it get nice and wet and icy, then idle it just the right amount to awaken the spirits and free the Jeep from the ice, and whammo, there she is, a terrifying apparition of Jeeply Visage.

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Why she's here is clear: she's a Cherokee, and Carolina is Cherokee country, don't you know. She's seeking her people and warning them of the coming maintenance horrors of a 9-speed ZF gearbox! Niiiiinnnnneeee spppppeeeeeeedssssss, she calls out into the night!

Ghost Jeep, please don't hurt us! All hail Ghost Jeep!