Jalopnik: Hummer H2

Hilarious Hungarian Ice Hummers On Hoth

Peter Orosz — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:30:00 EST

Last week’s ridiculous Hummer accident in Hungary has, predictably, become the pictorial meme in these still-frozen parts. Apart from a well-executed and faithful tribute in Lego, this obligatory Star Wars AT-AT version may be our favorite. More »

What Made You Think The Second Hummer Wouldn't Also Fall Through The Ice?

Peter Orosz — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:30:00 EST

Eastern Europe has been under a Siberian spell for a week or so, prompting the owner of a Hummer H2 to test the six inches of ice on Hungary’s Lake Balaton for some Siberian-style winter driving. What he apparently forgot was that a few days of 10-degree weather does not magically turn Lake Balaton into Lake Baikal. More »

Take Your Fuel Economy And Stuff It

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:00:00 EDT

These days it takes a certain egotistical fortitude to drive a Hummer H2 and revel in the conspicuous consumption. Other people? Well, they're ridiculed. Take that LOL OIL Tesla. Oh Packer backers, you so crazy. More »

Armored Hummer H2: For The Asshole Who Gets Shot At

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:30:00 EDT

When we called the Hummer H2 a car for "Ed Hardy-wearing assholes," our friends at Texas Armoring noticed and built a special Jalopnik rotating license plate for their up-armored Hummer H2. Here it is in action. More »

Geigercars' Timing On The Hummer H2 Bomber Couldn't Be Worse

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:00:00 EDT

GM's announced there's no buyer for Hummer and they'll be winding the brand down. Perfect timing for Geigercars to announce their Mattracks-equipped Hummer H2 Bomber. Beside the tracks, the best feature is the WWII-bomber-style pinup painted on the side. More »

2020 Mini Cooper S Spied At New York Auto Show

Wes Siler — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 08:30:00 EDT

At the rate things are going with model bloat, we wouldn't be surprised if this was actually a prototype for an upcoming Mini. It's not. It's actually the Mini media shuttle. Obese car journalists don't fit in Mini backseats. More »

The Inside Story of the Horse-Drawn Hummer

Wes Siler — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 12:00:00 EDT

Artist Jeremy Dean created the ultimate vehicle for wealthy, privileged Americans in a post-financiapocalyptic, post-oil war imaginary and heavily satirical future: the Horse-Drawn Hummer. Here is its story. More »

This Is Why Hummer Is Dying

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:30:00 EST

The fundamental problem with the slowly dying Hummer wasn't the product. The brand was long ago usurped by knuckleheads and used as a symbol of conspicuous consumption and this tuner abomination is part of the problem. Unleash the hounds! More »

Hummer Lines Go Silent Until Chinese Sale Complete

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:00:00 EST

After the the brand has existed for months in sale-or-no-sale purgatory and seeing product demand fall to a quarter of capacity, GM's decided to halt production of all Hummer products until sale to its Chinese suitors is complete. More »

VIDEO: Snowball Hits Hummer, Off-Duty DC Cop Pulls Sidearm

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:30:00 EST

Washington DC plainclothes officer Detective Bayler lost his cool when a snowball from a pre-organized neighborhood snowball fight hit his Hummer H2. He got out, drew his side arm and threatened the snowballers. On video. NSFW language ahead. More »

Hummer Plans H4, H5 Amid Uncertain Future

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:00:00 EST

Hummer is being sold to China's Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery with production of current generation vehicles to be carried out under contract by GM. Moving forward, Hummer's new Chinese leaders plans to get smaller with an H4 and H5. More »

"Happy Jack" Wooden Hummer Replica A Questionable Off-Roader

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:30:00 EDT

Remember the "Happy Jack" Hummer commercial with the soapbox H2 that doesn't stand a chance against speedier competition till the kid driver goes off-road to win the race? Well, someone built a crappy replica and it's for sale on EBay. More »

20 Most Expensive Cars To Insure For 2009

The Auto Insider — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 17:15:00 EDT

A cost many forget when buying a new car is that with different cars come different insurance prices. Want to know why? We'll show you with this list of the 20 most expensive cars to insure for 2009. More »

Maybe They're Really Handicapped

Ray Wert — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 08:20:00 EDT

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Yeah, that's got to be it. Although, in addition to the parking job, we're wondering what someone who's handicapped is doing in such a high-off-the-ground vehicle. [via Digg] More »

Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production

Ray Wert — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:00:00 EST

AM General, the builder of the Hummer H2 for GM, announces it's temporarily laying off 200 workers and halting production of the H2 until at least March. Note the words "at least." [HummerGuy] More »

Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles

Andrew Didorosi — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 07:30:00 EST

A study of traffic tickets revealing the most and least ticketed vehicles reinforces obvious stereotypes: Hummer owners are arrogant, self-centered and over-indulgent, while drivers of Buick Park Avenues appear to have no discernible pulse. More »

Hummer Brand Apparently Changing Hands, Downsizing And Badge Engineering

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:00:00 EST

We knew things were bad over at GM's Hummer brand, what with the auto giant trying to peddle it off to any taker, but this Hummer Dodge Neon H2SE is just ridiculous. More »

Tracked Hummer At SEMA Will Crush You, Take Your Gas

Andrew Stoy — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:00:00 EST

If you've got an H2T but you're not happy with the gas mileage — finding it way too high — your options are limited. Sure, you could bolt on performance mods, but we'd suggest these elegant and subtle tracked belts to replace your efficient pneumatic tires. This H2 was spotted outside the Vegas convention center welcoming all who ventured out to see the SEMA fest, bedecked in two-tone green-and-black, ready to crawl to your favorite club. No word on top speed, but hey, it's not about when you get there; it's about what you crush on the way. More »

The Stig Breaks In Top Gear Australia's Test Track

Mark Arnold — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:00:00 EDT

In case you missed it, the first episode of Top Gear Australia aired this week, and while we're still not sure how much we like the down under counterpart to the British original, it's still good entertainment. One thing we weren't sure of until we watched was what exactly the test track would look like. This clip shows Aussie Stig pounding out the first power-lap on the estimated 1.28-mile circuit in the new 2009 Porsche 911 More »

GM: Sale Of Hummer Is "Urgent"

Mark Arnold — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Automotive News reports that GM President and Chief Operating Officer Fritz Henderson told reporters at a recent press conference in India that the sale of the Hummer brand is on an "urgent basis." That's no surprise, since General Motors is predicting a US vehicle market of around 14 million units for 2008, down from 16 million units last year. Why the statement was made in India, we have no idea, since Mahindra has denied interest in buying Hummer. Perhaps Tata could still be thinking about a purchase? [via Automotive News, Sub. Req.] More »

Why You Don't Let A 16-Year-Old Launch Your Boat: A Slideshow

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Changfeng Gives Up On Getting Hummer From GM

Andrew Stoy — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:40:00 EDT

China Car Times offers more details on our earlier report that no company seems to want a Hummer from GM, giving us the low-down on insider reasons why Changfeng's in denial. The Chinese automaker was apparently interested enough — and GM open enough — to visit the Hummer production facilities, but subsequently determined the hulking SUV's "gasoline consumption was too high" for Chinese customers. China's new tax on large vehicles, particularly imports, would have further weakened demand, adding as much as 30% to the retail price of a Hummer. CCT closes with a mutually beneficial recommendation for the General: More »

Report: GM Caught Not Soliciting Hummer Offers

Andrew Stoy — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:20:00 EDT

A new report in the Detroit News states that, while the automaker has received a number of inquiries about the brand, General Motors has neither solicited offers for Hummer nor engaged in discussions with potential buyers. GM is trying to downplay recent reports of interest in Hummer by Russian businessman Oleg Deripaska (now denied by Deripaska), and India's Mahindra & Mahindra. Although General Motors has said it's working on a "strategic review" of the Hummer brand that could lead to a sale, the automaker insists its current focus is on aiding dealer profitability on a case-by-case basis; considering that dealers sold an average of 11 Hummers each last month, that's probably a good place to focus. [Detroit News] More »

Russian "Undesirable" Oleg Deripaska Makes Play For Hummer

Andrew Stoy — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 09:20:00 EDT

Russian billionaire Oleg Deripaska, owner of Moscow-based Russian Machines, is in the hunt for the Hummer brand, according to Russian business magazine Vedomosti. Should Deripaska end up the high bidder, GM is going to have to take the paperwork to him: He's been barred by the US State Department from entering the country due to his alleged ties to organized crime and possible false statements made to the FBI, and he's been accused by business associates of extortion, kidnapping, and "unsavory business practices." We know: On the surface, Deripaska sounds like the perfect suitor for Hummer, but some statements made by one of his associates have us a little concerned. More »

GM In Talks To Buy Out Hummer Dealerships

Andrew Stoy — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:20:00 EDT

Automotive News reports that General Motors is ~~bribing~~ incentivizing moribund Hummer dealers by prepaying them second- and third-quarter bonuses based upon 2007 sales. The company is also reportedly talking to many dealer principals behind-the-scenes about buyout options, attempting to smooth the transition to a brand sale or closure and avoid some of the expensive legal issues that plagued its Oldsmobile shutdown. Dealers could use all the help they can get: Hummer sales plummeted nearly 60% in June, compared with a year earlier. More »

Hummer H2 Assembly Line To Produce Just-As-Boxy Standard Taxis

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:20:00 EDT

The Standard Taxi by VPG Auto has been working the publicity circuit for a while now, but it appears AM General may step up to actually produce it. With the likely death of the Hummer H2, AM General will have excess capacity at its Mishawaka, Indiana plant. Assuming VPG can secure financing, they'll be able to start building the taxis next year. Details and full release after the jump. More »

Hummer H3: Decepticon or Autobot?

Travis Hudson — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:00:00 EDT

It seems that the HX won't be the only Hummer vehicle featured in Transformers 2. At the Cinema Expo International 2008 in Amsterdam, GM shelled out some bucks for a big platform that includes the H3 logo, the Transformers logo and dual black H3's to go along with it all. More »

More Evidence Points To Hummer Sale; Russians, Chinese Interested?

Andrew Stoy — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:15:00 EDT

More evidence is emerging that GM is moving quickly to solve its Hummer problem. The Detroit Free Press reports today on John Voss, a Dayton-area dealer who purchased a Hummer franchise in April, who says that GM offered to refund his money. "They have three choices and they said they want to make this decision very quickly," Voss said. "They are either going to make a smaller Hummer hybrid and change the H2, close the brand or sell it." Given the lead time needed to create a Hummer hybrid or impose radical changes to the H2 and the implications of closing the brand, a sale still seems to be the most practical option for GM. More »

Hummer To Join Fred, Be Not-Yet-Dead?

Andrew Stoy — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:20:00 EDT

Mark Phelan, columnist for the Detroit Free Press, today argues both sides of the "should Hummer stay or should it go?" coin. On one hand, Hummer's gas-sucking asshole image isn't doing GM any favors, and poor sales numbers make the abuse harder to absorb. On the other hand, Hummers are truly capable vehicles with a rabid (if shrinking) fan base. Then there's the issue of Hummer dealers getting all sue-happy if GM shut the brand down. There still seems to be a logical option, however. More »

Once Upon A Time In Mexico: PUTC Hoons A Hummer H2 SUT In The Baja 500

Mark Arnold — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:40:00 EDT

While the General may be trying to sell off the Hummer brand, that didn't stop a few of the Humvee-wannabes from being deployed down to Mexico to wage war in the Baja 500. Proving — or at least attempting to prove — the H2, H2 SUT and H3 aren't just suburban soft-roading sissy-mobiles. Jalopnik superfriend, Mike Levine of Pickuptrucks.com, was embedded with Team Hummer, documenting every step along the way. Starting with a stock H2 SUT, the crew painstakingly prepared the truck to compete in the, err... Stock Full-Size Truck Class. OK, so that's actually more work than it may sound. "Stock" may have been bastardized as a term by Nascar, but on the craggy Baja trails it actually still means something. Mike got to ride along for the race, and as you can see above, we've got some footage of the beast in action to prove it. And by beast, we meant the H2 SUT. Check out the crazy Mexican adventure in it's entirety over at Pickuptrucks.com. More »

A Hummer Won't Get You The Love, Hummer You Really Want

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:45:00 EDT

As much as the Internet is powered by ads, you probably don't want to go too far down the Google AdWord rabbit hole because you might be frightened by what you find. In this case a search of Hummer served up a steamy ad claiming

"Most single men buy Hummers to impress women. The only women that a Hummer impresses are high maintaince goal diggers. Is this what you really want in your life?"

It's an excellent question. Is that what we want in our life? Maybe this site is offering guys a way out of merely buying their way into undergarments and offering them a chance to develop real character. It's not. What it's offering is wrong on so many levels. The full ad below the jump. More »

Environmental Impact of Prius, Hummer Considered By Slate

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:15:00 EDT

The leftist propaganda machine that is Slate recently made an attempt to quash rumors saying the Hummer H2 has a smaller overall environmental impact than a Toyota Prius. The argument goes that the manufacturing process is so energy intensive, and the materials so environmentally damaging, the Toyota Prius is actually worse for the environment in the long run than buying a Hummer H2. Of course the commies at Slate start talking about "science, studies and analysis" — all code words to their conspirators we're sure. We're on to you Slate. [Slate.com] More »

Possible Hummer H9T Mule For Sale On Ebay

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Has there ever been much doubt the Hummer brand would continually march up the numerical ladder while downsizing its products? We started with the H1, moved on to the H2, and then the H3 and Hummer H3T. It seems inevitable there will be an H4, H5, H6 and...you get the picture. But we may have caught proof of the General's trickery early on with what we're speculating must be the Hummer H9T, based on relative size reduction between previous models. The cleverly designed mini-Hummer obviously takes advantage of the design heritage of the brand, but bucks at least two Hummer brand trends by making room for passengers and visibility a priority. More »

The Rumors Of The Imminent Demise Of The H2 Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, It's Actually Dying In 2014

The Auto Insider — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:03:21 EDT

Our earlier story on the demise of the Hummer H2 earlier today has shaken loose a few more details from inside sources and it turns out we weren't quite spot on with the kill date. It's actually 2014, not 2011. Here are the new details our previous story has shaken loose from the tree of knowledge that is the tower o' power in Detroit: More »

Hummer H2 To Die By 2011, Take Cheap Gas With It

The Auto Insider — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:00:00 EDT

UPDATE: Looks like FUH2 has a little bit more life left in it — we've now determined the Hummer H2 will die in 2014. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks for not reversing the charges. The Hummer haters at FUH2 will get their wish faster than they'd ever hoped. It seems the death knell of the Hummer H2 has been sound. Yes, that's correct, we've just received word a decision came down within the last few weeks at the General to end production of the H2. But if you've been holding off on buying that H2 with the 28 inch DUBs and sound system with enough power to make you sterile, don't freak out just yet. Instead of getting the axe right away, we believe the H2 will be allowed to live out its current product life cycle. This probably means the 2011 model year will be the H2's swan song. Full death-filled conclusion to every environmentalist's favorite target after the jump.
More »