How About An Alvis Scorpion Tank For $80,000?

Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe contender drives like a tank, and that's not a bad thing! You'll have to decide if its price should have someone saying tanks a lot!

For decades Lincolns were often described as tanks. Or boats. What usually didn't enter into the conversation about the brand was fun. A notable exception is when talk turns to Lincolns like yesterday's manual equipped 2001 LS V6. That car looked like a barrel of drunky monkeys, and at three grand it was also seen by 85% of you to come with a Nice Price.

You know what that Lincoln lacked was firepower. You know, da big boom-boom. I don't know about you but I think that the ability to lob a shell on that creep who just cut you off is an underrated asset. Or potentially, the option to use a big gun as a none-to-subtle metaphor for busting a nut. Today's 1981 Alvis Scorpion however will let you do both, that is if your local legislation allows.

How About An Alvis Scorpion Tank For $80,000?

Much of the world is seeing unrest these days, and people everywhere are taking up arms. You don't want to be left in the lurch when shit gets real and that's why owning a tank is something you should consider. This British light tank is claimed to be street-able and, at only 16,500-lbs, trailerable. I don't know about that, I'd rather use it to ride on top of the cars parked at the curb. Call me irresponsible.

The FV101 Scorpions were built by Alvis - yes, that Alvis - from the early '70s through their decommissioning in 1994. This one, being an early bird, is powered by Jaguar's 4.2-litre straight six. Later editions replaced the gas mill with Cummins diesel power. These were designated as reconnoissance vehicles and hence aren't as heavily armored as a full-on battle tank. They are however quite a bit faster.

How About An Alvis Scorpion Tank For $80,000?

This of course also rocks a (relatively) big gun: a 76mm L23A1 cannon on a 360-degree turret. You know what that spells, don't you? R.E.S.P.E.C.T. - that's what. If your state has an open carry law on the books you should be cool with this even when shopping at Target.

Along with being in seemingly shoot first and ask questions later-shape, this Scorpion brings a bunch of maintenance and repair parts along for the ride. The Jag engine has been retrofitted with a Holley 2-bbl and probably runs on regular, plus there's extra tracks, you know for formal events.

How About An Alvis Scorpion Tank For $80,000?

This tank is being sold by a place - Drive A Tank - where you can actually, well, drive a tank. That would probably be lots cheaper than this one's $80,000 asking price, but then again only half the value in owning a tank is its operation, the other half is scaring and intimidating people. To do that, you'll need to sign the check.

What's your take on eighty large for this British tank, does that seem like the right price - for the right collector? Or, does that make you say, no tanks!

You decide!

Minneapolis Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Jarrod at Drive-A-Tank for the hookup!

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