Photo credit: RM Auctions

Got several million dollars burning a hole in your tuxedo pants? Need to own a car your neighbors are guaranteed not to have? My friend, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to Hammertime, Jalopnik’s new monthly auction guide listing all the weird and wonderful cars that we can’t afford, but you might, especially if your middle name is Centurion.

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This month, we’re looking into Silverstone Auctions’ May Sale, plus what Bonhams and RM Sotheby’s will have on offer at their Monaco auctions.

U Can’t Touch This

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1951 Ferrari 340 America Barchetta by Touring

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Estimated: €7.500.000 - €9.000.000

Early Ferraris sell like hotcakes nowadays at whatever price auctioneers dare to put on them, and this matching numbers ‘51 is a double Le Mans veteran and one of just eight 340 Barchettas with a Touring body. Ready for the Mille Miglia!

Photo credit: RM Auctions

2008 Peugeot 908 HDi FAP Le Mans Prototype

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Estimated: €1.200.000 - €1.600.000

It’s once thing to buy an old race car and give it a go at Goodwood or Le Mans Classic. It’s another to take home the 2nd overall LMP1 car from the 2008 24 Hours of Le Mans.

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As RM Auctions explains: “Firing up and running this vehicle calls for specific equipment, third-party software licences, and skills. The seller commits to providing the necessary technical support for a period of two years. This service will be provided at Peugeot Sport’s normal rates for technical support.” Good luck!

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1988 Porsche 959 ‘Komfort’ Stage II

Estimated: €900.000 - €1.250.000

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One of the just three 959s originally finished in black, this car sustained minor frontal damage before getting a new old stock bumper from Porsche and a complete respray despite the matching colors.

More importantly, Porsche Classic also upgraded it to Stage 2 spec, meaning smaller and faster turbos, more efficient intercoolers, and a re-mapped ECU; boosting the output to 542 horsepower. This thing must be properly fast.

Alternatively, Bonhams has a high-milage red example with stock power for half the money.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1997 Porsche 911 GT1 Evolution

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Estimated: €2.700.000 - €3.000.000

This is not a factory Straßenversion, but the only road-legal 911 GT1 race car in the world. So, it’s worth every cent.

Photo credit: Bonhams

1973 Iso Grifo 5.8-liter Series II Coupé

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Estimated: €300,000 - 350,000

Bertone styling, Bizzarrini engineering, Ford 351 Cleveland power. Registered with a California title, it’s hard to find a more stylish and satisfying Gran Turismo.

Photo credit: Bonhams

2011 Aston Martin One-77

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Estimated: €1.75 million - 2.25 million

Number 25 of 77. Is it the last V12-powered Aston Martin? No. In fact, far from it. Is it the fastest car Aston Martin will ever make? No. So why is a modern car that looks sort of like a fish worth $2.6 million today? I guess because not many could have one in the first place. But now, you can.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1948 Tucker 48

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Estimated: €1.350.000 - €1.850.000

Serial number 1049 was the next-to-last Tucker officially built at the factory in Chicago and the last to be completed with an engine; number 1050, the last car built, lacked an engine, transmission, and rear fenders when sold.

It’s apparently the only Tucker in Europe, and RM even has a spare engine for it in case you have another hundred grand to spare.

Photo credit: Bonhams

1963 Ferrari 330 America Berlinetta

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Estimated: €290,000 - 350,000

When literally all your friends roll up in some version of Enzo’s 250 Series, show them how to be stylish without spending all your money on a bubble. Pininfarina body? Check. 4.0 L Colombo V12? Check. All is well.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1984 Peugeot 205 Turbo 16 Evolution 1 Group B

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Estimated: €600.000 - €800.000

Winner of the 1985 Rallye Monte-Carlo and Swedish Rally driven by World Rally Champion Ari Vatanen. One of only 20 Works 205 T16 Evolution 1 Group B cars. Don’t drive this, and it will never start again. Drive this, and you’ll most likely die.

The Jalopnik Cars

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1982 Lancia-Abarth 037 Stradale

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Estimated: €335.000

Pretty much bone stock with 20.000 miles. One of 207. A Group B car for the road that’s great to drive.

If you’re looking for a competition-ready variant, Bonhams can help, with chassis number one.

Photo credit: Silverstone Auctions

1987 Ferrari Testarossa Koenig Competition Evolution II

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Estimated: £115,000 - 130,000

It’s a Testarossa with an F40 body kit. But hey, you get 25 percent more cylinders at a bargain price, and everybody knows the eighties are cool again!

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1965 Fiat 600 Multipla

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Estimated: €30.000 - €50.000

Look at it. It’s perfect. For road trips, getting the groceries, or going to the beach. Air-cooled, spacious, cute.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1970 Fiat 850 Spiaggetta by Michelotti

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Estimated: €60.000 - €80.000

In case you’re foolish enough not to like that Multipla.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1965 Alpine-Renault A110

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Estimated: €110.000 - €140.000

It looks ready with its Group 4-specification body, and I feel ready. If you’re looking for a gorgeous road car, Bonhams can help.

Photo credit: Silverstone Auctions

1968 Aston Martin DBS barn find

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Estimated: £50,000 - 60,000

We like a challenge, and the DBS is one hell of a classy muscle car.

Photo credit: Bonhams

1968 De Tomaso Vallelunga

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Estimated: €320,000 - 360,000

We could never afford one, but still...Giorgetto Giugiaro design from his Ghia years, a fiberglass body and a tiny Ford engine. It’s a match!

Photo credit: Silverstone Auctions

1997 Renault Spider

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Estimated: £18,000 - 22,000

It’s like a Lotus, only made by Renaultsport. That’s a pretty good combination, and here’s another with no reserve!

Photo credit: Bonhams

1940 Lancia Aprilia 2nd Series Cabriolet

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Estimated: €120,000 - 180,000

Lancia was using a wind tunnel to create this car. In the late thirties.

Photo credit: Silverstone Auctions

1998 Subaru Impreza 22B STi

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Estimated: £60,000 - 70,000

While expensive, this ex-Prince Naseem Hamed STi is a brand new 1998 car with just 2,500 miles.

Photo credit: RM Auctions

1993 Alfa Romeo RZ by Zagato

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Estimated: €70.000 - €85.000

You either like these, or you don’t. Personally, I love them. Also, it’s got an Alfa V6.

Photo credit: Silverstone Auctions

1988 Ford Sierra RS Cosworth

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Estimated: £24,000 - 28,000

Last but not least, this is bit of a best buy. Everybody wants the early two-door Sierras, and they have plenty to choose from, including this time warp.

However, these later Sapphire versions are much cheaper and better to drive, not to mention how practical they are compared to a coupe.

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Good luck to you all. Hammertime will be back next month!