<![CDATA[Jalopnik: H2]]> http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Jalopnik: H2]]> http://jalopnik.com/tag/h2 http://jalopnik.com/tag/h2 <![CDATA[Take Your Fuel Economy And Stuff It]]> These days it takes a certain egotistical fortitude to drive a Hummer H2 and revel in the conspicuous consumption. Other people? Well, they're ridiculed. Take that LOL OIL Tesla. Oh Packer backers, you so crazy. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5598614&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Armored Hummer H2: For The Asshole Who Gets Shot At]]> When we called the Hummer H2 a car for "Ed Hardy-wearing assholes," our friends at Texas Armoring noticed and built a special Jalopnik rotating license plate for their up-armored Hummer H2. Here it is in action. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5563043&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Geigercars' Timing On The Hummer H2 Bomber Couldn't Be Worse]]> GM's announced there's no buyer for Hummer and they'll be winding the brand down. Perfect timing for Geigercars to announce their Mattracks-equipped Hummer H2 Bomber. Beside the tracks, the best feature is the WWII-bomber-style pinup painted on the side. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5511560&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[This Is Why Hummer Is Dying]]> The fundamental problem with the slowly dying Hummer wasn't the product. The brand was long ago usurped by knuckleheads and used as a symbol of conspicuous consumption and this tuner abomination is part of the problem. Unleash the hounds! More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5489294&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer Not Dead Yet, GM Considering Other Offers]]> Hold the phones! Two previous suitors for Hummer have stepped up in the wake of China's failure to secure a deal and, of course, us running our fucking Hummer eulogy. Talk about back-room Saab-like B.S. [WSJ.com] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5480242&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[VIDEO: Snowball Hits Hummer, Off-Duty DC Cop Pulls Sidearm]]> Washington DC plainclothes officer Detective Bayler lost his cool when a snowball from a pre-organized neighborhood snowball fight hit his Hummer H2. He got out, drew his side arm and threatened the snowballers. On video. NSFW language ahead. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5431186&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer Plans H4, H5 Amid Uncertain Future]]> Hummer is being sold to China's Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery with production of current generation vehicles to be carried out under contract by GM. Moving forward, Hummer's new Chinese leaders plans to get smaller with an H4 and H5. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5405729&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA["Happy Jack" Wooden Hummer Replica A Questionable Off-Roader]]> Remember the "Happy Jack" Hummer commercial with the soapbox H2 that doesn't stand a chance against speedier competition till the kid driver goes off-road to win the race? Well, someone built a crappy replica and it's for sale on EBay. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5303998&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer H2 Plant Halts Production]]> AM General, the builder of the Hummer H2 for GM, announces it's temporarily laying off 200 workers and halting production of the H2 until at least March. Note the words "at least." [HummerGuy] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5140251&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer Tops Recent Study Of Most Ticketed Vehicles]]> A study of traffic tickets revealing the most and least ticketed vehicles reinforces obvious stereotypes: Hummer owners are arrogant, self-centered and over-indulgent, while drivers of Buick Park Avenues appear to have no discernible pulse. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5133026&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer-Branded Piaggio MP3 Pushes Brand Even Smaller]]> When we saw the Hummer Dodge Neon H2SE earlier, we thought it was funny for a homebrew "customization." Then we saw this Hummer-branded Piaggio MP3. It's just plain weird. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5121411&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer Brand Apparently Changing Hands, Downsizing And Badge Engineering]]> We knew things were bad over at GM's Hummer brand, what with the auto giant trying to peddle it off to any taker, but this Hummer Dodge Neon H2SE is just ridiculous. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5120864&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Tracked Hummer At SEMA Will Crush You, Take Your Gas]]> If you've got an H2T but you're not happy with the gas mileage — finding it way too high — your options are limited. Sure, you could bolt on performance mods, but we'd suggest these elegant and subtle tracked belts to replace your efficient pneumatic tires. This H2 was spotted outside the Vegas convention center welcoming all who ventured out to see the SEMA fest, bedecked in two-tone green-and-black, ready to crawl to your favorite club. No word on top speed, but hey, it's not about when you get there; it's about what you crush on the way. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5076062&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Report: GM Caught Not Soliciting Hummer Offers]]> A new report in the Detroit News states that, while the automaker has received a number of inquiries about the brand, General Motors has neither solicited offers for Hummer nor engaged in discussions with potential buyers. GM is trying to downplay recent reports of interest in Hummer by Russian businessman Oleg Deripaska (now denied by Deripaska), and India's Mahindra & Mahindra. Although General Motors has said it's working on a "strategic review" of the Hummer brand that could lead to a sale, the automaker insists its current focus is on aiding dealer profitability on a case-by-case basis; considering that dealers sold an average of 11 Hummers each last month, that's probably a good place to focus. [Detroit News] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5039863&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[GM In Talks To Buy Out Hummer Dealerships]]> Automotive News reports that General Motors is bribing incentivizing moribund Hummer dealers by prepaying them second- and third-quarter bonuses based upon 2007 sales. The company is also reportedly talking to many dealer principals behind-the-scenes about buyout options, attempting to smooth the transition to a brand sale or closure and avoid some of the expensive legal issues that plagued its Oldsmobile shutdown. Dealers could use all the help they can get: Hummer sales plummeted nearly 60% in June, compared with a year earlier. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=399357&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer H2 Assembly Line To Produce Just-As-Boxy Standard Taxis]]> The Standard Taxi by VPG Auto has been working the publicity circuit for a while now, but it appears AM General may step up to actually produce it. With the likely death of the Hummer H2, AM General will have excess capacity at its Mishawaka, Indiana plant. Assuming VPG can secure financing, they'll be able to start building the taxis next year. Details and full release after the jump. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=398459&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer H3: Decepticon or Autobot?]]> It seems that the HX won't be the only Hummer vehicle featured in Transformers 2. At the Cinema Expo International 2008 in Amsterdam, GM shelled out some bucks for a big platform that includes the H3 logo, the Transformers logo and dual black H3's to go along with it all. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=397191&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[More Evidence Points To Hummer Sale; Russians, Chinese Interested?]]> More evidence is emerging that GM is moving quickly to solve its Hummer problem. The Detroit Free Press reports today on John Voss, a Dayton-area dealer who purchased a Hummer franchise in April, who says that GM offered to refund his money. "They have three choices and they said they want to make this decision very quickly," Voss said. "They are either going to make a smaller Hummer hybrid and change the H2, close the brand or sell it." Given the lead time needed to create a Hummer hybrid or impose radical changes to the H2 and the implications of closing the brand, a sale still seems to be the most practical option for GM. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=396535&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Once Upon A Time In Mexico: PUTC Hoons A Hummer H2 SUT In The Baja 500]]> While the General may be trying to sell off the Hummer brand, that didn't stop a few of the Humvee-wannabes from being deployed down to Mexico to wage war in the Baja 500. Proving — or at least attempting to prove — the H2, H2 SUT and H3 aren't just suburban soft-roading sissy-mobiles. Jalopnik superfriend, Mike Levine of Pickuptrucks.com, was embedded with Team Hummer, documenting every step along the way. Starting with a stock H2 SUT, the crew painstakingly prepared the truck to compete in the, err... Stock Full-Size Truck Class. OK, so that's actually more work than it may sound. "Stock" may have been bastardized as a term by Nascar, but on the craggy Baja trails it actually still means something. Mike got to ride along for the race, and as you can see above, we've got some footage of the beast in action to prove it. And by beast, we meant the H2 SUT. Check out the crazy Mexican adventure in it's entirety over at Pickuptrucks.com. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=395221&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[A Hummer Won't Get You The Love, Hummer You Really Want]]> As much as the Internet is powered by ads, you probably don't want to go too far down the Google AdWord rabbit hole because you might be frightened by what you find. In this case a search of Hummer served up a steamy ad claiming
"Most single men buy Hummers to impress women. The only women that a Hummer impresses are high maintaince goal diggers. Is this what you really want in your life?"
It's an excellent question. Is that what we want in our life? Maybe this site is offering guys a way out of merely buying their way into undergarments and offering them a chance to develop real character. It's not. What it's offering is wrong on so many levels. The full ad below the jump. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=375325&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Environmental Impact of Prius, Hummer Considered By Slate]]> The leftist propaganda machine that is Slate recently made an attempt to quash rumors saying the Hummer H2 has a smaller overall environmental impact than a Toyota Prius. The argument goes that the manufacturing process is so energy intensive, and the materials so environmentally damaging, the Toyota Prius is actually worse for the environment in the long run than buying a Hummer H2. Of course the commies at Slate start talking about "science, studies and analysis" — all code words to their conspirators we're sure. We're on to you Slate. [Slate.com] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=374774&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[The Rumors Of The Imminent Demise Of The H2 Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, It's Actually Dying In 2014]]> Our earlier story on the demise of the Hummer H2 earlier today has shaken loose a few more details from inside sources and it turns out we weren't quite spot on with the kill date. It's actually 2014, not 2011. Here are the new details our previous story has shaken loose from the tree of knowledge that is the tower o' power in Detroit: More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=366060&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer H2 To Die By 2011, Take Cheap Gas With It]]> UPDATE: Looks like FUH2 has a little bit more life left in it — we've now determined the Hummer H2 will die in 2014. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks for not reversing the charges. The Hummer haters at FUH2 will get their wish faster than they'd ever hoped. It seems the death knell of the Hummer H2 has been sound. Yes, that's correct, we've just received word a decision came down within the last few weeks at the General to end production of the H2. But if you've been holding off on buying that H2 with the 28 inch DUBs and sound system with enough power to make you sterile, don't freak out just yet. Instead of getting the axe right away, we believe the H2 will be allowed to live out its current product life cycle. This probably means the 2011 model year will be the H2's swan song. Full death-filled conclusion to every environmentalist's favorite target after the jump.
More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=365637&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[The Masculinity Jokes Are Endless With Grow Your Own Hummer]]> Everyone knows that Hummers are pretty damn big, but now they can get even bigger with Grow Your Own Hummer! Okay, I really doubt that this toy could get bigger than an actual Hummer, but who knows—those inflatable water-sponge things seem like they can defy the laws of physics. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=363152&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hummer H2 SUT Getting Bigger?]]> The fast shutters over at KGP photography captured what looks like a Hummer HT SUT (In reality, a Hummer H2T — according to Winding Road) that's been stretched out on the rack. The fake army paint job doesn't fool them though, as they think that this is a new H2 making use of the stretched GMT-900 platform — the same used for the Suburban as opposed to the current H2, which is built on the same platform used by the Chevy Tahoe. This would give it real, truck-like powers as opposed to the current generation, which can barely hold more than two kegs. Full spy report below the jump: UPDATE: Winding Road's sources tell us this H2 SUT mule is actually a Hummer H2T, a companion to the Hummer H3T we expect to see revealed in coming months. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=333420&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[SEMA 2007: Hummer H2 Safari Comes Complete With A Gun Rack]]> We don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a gun rack — but that hasn't stopped Hummer from dropping one into their new Hummer H2 Safari Off-Road concept they'll be showing off here at SEMA. At least that's what it says in the press release — and you know we'll be snagging some pictures of it as soon as we find it on the show floor. In addition to the aforementioned holder of guns, it also comes equipped with a 6.2-liter V8 engine and 20" wheels with Mickey Thompson 35-inch off-road tires. They make it easier for you to track the most dangerous prey over the dirty trails of your private island wethinks. Full press release after the jump. Go ahead, we'll give you a 30-second head start before the hunt begins. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=316013&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Fergie Auctions Off Her Hummer H2 To, You Know, Save The Environment]]> The owner of the trademark on lovely lady lumps is auctioning off her lump of an SUV — a DUB Edition Hummer H2 for charity. That's totally so special of her! So what's the charity, you ask? Global Green USA. Umm, yeah. But wait, wait all you cynics of the world — she answers your question your question already. The answer, just below the jump: More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=297478&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[In Russia, Moment of Zen Marries YOU!]]> Since we've been feeling romantic these last few days, we thought we'd leave you with this shot from English Russia. Who ever thought during the Cold War that vehicles inspired by American military hardware would one day carry blissful children of the Russian Mafia off to their honeymoons on the Caspian Sea? Now if only there were an ekranoplan ride involved... – Davey G. Johnson More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=272180&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[(Uncle) Sammy Hummer Weekend: Sex-Crazed Atheistic Bolsheviks Shamefully Debase America's Truck]]> There's not much to say except for, "turn your sound up." Oh, and if you make the jump you can see some more. And if you like what you see, you should visit this website. Personally, we find it disgusting. – Jonny Lieberman More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=254295&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[(Uncle) Sammy Hummer Weekend: Deceitful Mini-Jeep Assails Mini-H2's Love of God and Country]]> Yeah, normally this is the spot where we put the lyrics to the song about dominating the parking lot at one of the Red Rocker's shows, but... these videos takes some explaining. Basically watch what's above, and then make the jump to see a new rendering of the phrase, "beaten like a rented mule." We find the second video slightly mo' funny with the sound off. Oh, and a happy Cabo Tahoe to you. Cue music. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=254261&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[(Uncle) Sammy Hummer Weekend: Patriotic H2 Redemption]]>
Got a Big Johnson T-shirt
More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=254214&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[(Uncle) Sammy Hummer Weekend: Anti-Hummer, and Therefore Anti-American, Commie Bull]]>
Got a Big Johnson T-shirt
More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=254187&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Oy Vey: Toyota FJ70 Shows Up, Pulls Out Hummer H2]]> As Americans, this one is terribly embarrassing. There's really nothing else to add, save for that we can smell this guy's clutch from here. – Jonny Lieberman More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=253551&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[New York Auto Show Preview: The H3 Coulda Had A V8, So Now It Does]]> Looks like the best laid plans of mice and men are plans easily laid low by a HummerGuy. The site all about the vehicular BJ is reporting via a standard embargo break that the 2008 Hummer H2
"...gets a larger 6.2 liter V8 with a six speed transmission - the horsepower increase hasn't been announced, but should be significant. The full third row seat is also new - Hummer has never offered more than a single seat in the rear area. The interior dash area has been updated to a more luxurious and clean looking control panel. It also appears that the front bumper has been changed to an aluminum colored finish. The leather choice has also been updated in 2008. These are some terrific advances to a vehicle that has not had a major update in 5 model years!"
And in addition to the pictures below, here's what he's got to say on the H3 Alpha: More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=247257&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[GM's New Variant-Edition Hummer H2 Paints The Town...Umm...Something]]>
We're sorry but this "new car" set to be introduced by the General at the Chicago Auto Show next week doesn't excite us in the least. We went back and forth as to whether we'd even bother showing you this new variant-edition Hummer that apparently has only one thing that sets it apart from other option-packed H2's and H2 SUT's on dealer lots — it's got a new and angry color called "Victory Red." General Motors, meet me over at camera three. OK, guys — seriously — WTF? I know that technically you can call any change you've made to a production model a "variant" but for real, this is the Cavalier Z24 of the Hummer brand — minus the performance. In fact, let's make a game of this — we've got a gallery below of GM PR pics and a link to the official Hummer H2 site. Try and find the differences. We'll post the press release with the official "new hotness" later this evening. – Ray Wert More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=233009&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Paul Casey And Sergio Garcia Hoon Around In World's Biggest Sand Trap]]>
When I was a kid, we had these huge sand dunes up north near Traverse City called the Great Sleeping Bear sand dunes. As a young whipper-snapper, I would play on those huge hills of sand wishing I were conquering the in my very own Power Wheels Jeep. Unfortunately, Michigan's DNR didn't allow any type of motorized vehicles to play in the sand there — and my parents were never going to buy me one of them kiddie death-traps anyway. It seems that PGA card-holders Paul Casey and Sergio Garcia apparently no longer need to ask their mom's for the ok to play in the dunes. The two spent today reminiscing about lost childhoods without Power Wheels while playing with a Hummer H2, a Toyota FJ Cruiser and some ATV's in the sand sea north of Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates after Casey's win yesterday in the 2007 Abu Dhabi Golf Championship. And as you can see from the picture gallery below, the two played around like childhood BFF's. Of course I'd be acting like a little kid too if I got to hoon around in the world's largest sandbox and hit a little white ball all day as my job. Stupid professional golfers. – Ray Wert More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=230600&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Exclusive 2006 SEMA Preview: Four-Door Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Unlimited — Like A Hummer, Only Good]]> While at the Paris Auto Show at the beginning of the month, Spinn and I walked past the Chrysler Group display and as we passed the four-door Wrangler Unlimited, we both made a startling realization — the 4x4 with more off-road lineage than a Hummer could ever have totally has the potential to be a Hummer killer. We even remarked as much to an auto writer with one of the local Detroit dailies later that evening, and we received the same agreement. Now what you have before you is obvs not the standard, it's actually a Rubicon model featuring some editions by the Jeep/Truck engineering-design build shops, a team run by 300C/Charger/Magnum design chief and all-around good sport Ralph Gilles. His team put together a 4-door 4x4 with an interior featuring custom Katzkin leather seating and powered it with a 3.0L CRD diesel with some Tru-Lok-equipped Dana 44 axles supporting the weight. A performance suspension lift gives it the clearance to take on a set of 35-inch BFG (why yes, there're all sorts of acronym-busters for that one) Mud Terrain tires mounted on Custom 18-inch aluminum wheels supplied by Taneisya. The external toys also include a Warn 9.5ti winch mounted on American Expedition Vehicles (Who woulda thunk there'd be an AEV connection here, right?) new front bumper. And yes, it does look like a billion and a half bucks sprayed in that Rolex Silver paint — and you probably will only feel for maybe a split second like you're driving in a G500 look-alike. – Ray Wert More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=210820&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[H2? H2, Where Are You? Hummer H2 Plant To Shut Down For Two Weeks]]> AM General, the maker of all things Hummer, will be shutting down the H2 line for two weeks this month in order to right-size production to match up with slowing sales. The plant employees about 600 from the sleepy little farm-filled hamlet of Mishawaka, Indiana. Which, in many ways we feel, might remind us a little bit of a moisture farm on the planet Tatooine. Except without the sand. Oh, and without the sand people. Oh, and there's no "force." But otherwise, yeah — exactly the same. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=205543&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Exclusive Live-Action Transformers Update: Megatron Must Be Stopped, And Prime's The Robot To Do It]]> So there you have it — Megatron in all of his what appears to be frozen glory. We've also got another shot of the Camaro-rockin' Bumblebee fully transformed, as well as another picture of Prime as a long-nosed Semi and finally what looks to be "Team Autobot" — the Black GMC TopKick (Ironhide), the modified H2 (Ratchet) and the Camaro concept (Bumblebee) all surrounding a ready-to-roll-out long-nosed Semi (Optimus Prime). Looks like a fanboy circle-jerk to us! But wait-wait, there's more — click the jump to find out the names of all the Autobots and Decepticons appearing in the movie from an online chat with the producers held this AM. [Hat tip as always to our boy Hue Hughes!] More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=195336&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Teenage Kicks: 15-Year-Old Rams Police Cars in Stolen SUV]]> Generally, when we think of teenage hummers, our thoughts drift to '80s-era Traci Lords. 15-year-old Margaret Jacobs, however, has brought the phrase into the 21st Century in an entirely more violent style, by crashing an H2 into two police cars down in Florida, a state known for Hummer profligacy (CSI: Miami, anyone?) and a massive contingent of bored teens (death metal, anyone?). She's currently in the kid-pokey on attempted murder charges. And we thought Texas girls were crazy. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=184751&view=rss&microfeed=true