Guy On Craigslist Will Trade You His SUV For A Week With Your Wife

Oh, Craigslist. In the history of mankind, has there ever been a better place to get an almost-new blender just for letting some dude watch you pee? Probably not. Now Craig once again provides, sharing the tale of a man who'll trade a 2011 Grand Cherokee for a week with your wife. She's gonna be so excited.

The unnamed Jeep-owner, from Huntsville, Texas doesn't seem too comfortable with English as a language or the puzzling arrangement of letters on his TV-typewriter, but he is very confident about what he has, and what he wants:

I have a 4wd Jeep Cherokee. Its is dully loaded and has a which attached to front ranch hand bumper and grill gaurd. It is on a 4 in suspension lift and a 6 inch body lift has 35 mud grip tires(1200) witch has only been on it for two months. The truck only has 48,000 miles on it. i am looking to trade it but I looking for certain things only. I don't need it but its paid for so O don't have to sell it. Now here is what I am looking for. A lady( preferable married to how wants the jeep) she mist be 18 to 50 and fit. I give you the jeep and you leave your wife with me for a week. When you come pick her up she have the signed title to the jeep. So if interested send me several photo of the wife and I get right back to you. The photo need to be nude after all she will be for a week.

There's so much in there. Once you get past the typos (I'm pretty sure "dully" means "fully" and not "loaded up to be more dull", like if he covered the inside of the car with pictures of famous Notaries Public) you see that it's a reasonably well-equipped Cherokee, lifted, winch, grill guard, all that. And you see his requirements for your wife are fairly general, with an age range (18-50) just barely making the vast majority of adult women eligible.

In case you think that maybe this week with your wife will be spent talking, helping him through difficult life choices, and a few charming café meals, think again. A nude photo is involved here, husbands, because "after all she will be for a week."

Hard to argue with that. I do hope she "will be" for a week.

I'm not really sure what he means in the parenthetical "( preferable married to how wants the jeep)" — does he mean he'll consider unmarried women? Maybe an independent woman who really, really wants a Grand Cherokee? It's not really clear. At all. Hell, it's barely English.

Guy On Craigslist Will Trade You His SUV For A Week With Your Wife

The way he's addressing this to the hypothetical, Jeep-addled husbands is pretty creepy too, and the casual assumption that a man's wife is his to loan out to semi-literate SUV owners is just disturbing. For a person deciding to do this on their own, well, that's just a potentially bad decision. To have your spouse pawn off a week of your life for, let's face it, a pretty mediocre SUV, is appalling.

A quick check on price shows that 2011 Grand Cherokees go for around $20 grand or so. Even though they failed the Moose Test. So if we do some math, that should come to about $119/hr for the 168 hours of likely horror your wife will have to spend with this man. Based on the ad, I'm assuming there will be minimal (if any) breaks, and it's likely communication would be severely restricted.

All 1960s-era dad jokes about how great a deal this would be aside, this sounds absolutely terrifying. It's possible this is a joke, but this is Craigslist, after all, and there's something about the straightforward incompetence of the text that makes it seem earnest.

Are there people crazy enough to consider this? I know I wouldn't give myself to any weirdos for a week for any jeep other than a mint FC truck or that FC concept one.

Because I'm a man of standards, dammit.

UPDATE: I received a response from my email to the ad poster asking for more information about what the women could expect over their week. Here's the response, in its entirety:

A lot of sex

Well, I can't say I'm shocked.