Brian J. Byers was driving his 2001 BMW while a little loaded, ran a stop sign, and slammed into a guard rail. Luckily, no one was hurt, so he limped the damaged BMW back home. Still drunk. Which may be why he did what he did next: returned to the accident scene to pour water on the road to make it look like the wreck was caused by ice, not drunk and stupid.

Wait, what? Let's go over this again: guy in Sparta, NJ drives drunk, has a wreck. No shock there. He limps the car to his house, then gets a friend, at 2:45 am, to come out with him to the accident scene to pour water on the road. At this point, a cop sees them, and finds two five gallon water buckets in their car.

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There's a lot I don't get here. Why did the guy go back at all, when he managed to get back home from his wreck without any police intervention at all? I mean, if you're willing to make a road incredibly dangerous for who knows how many people just to cover your ass, why not just lie to your insurance agent about what happened? I guess he really wanted some ironclad evidence? And maybe a few extra accidents from some uninvolved people would really sell it?

I think the most remarkable detail here has to be about this guy's friend that he convinced to help him:

His companion, Alexander Zambenedetti, 20, of Sparta was charged with drunken driving. Zambenedetti was not wearing a shirt even though wind chills that morning were about -15, police added.

Holy crap. This guy has a friend so good, so loyal, that he'll bolt out of his house without a goddamn shirt in -15 weather to help him pour water on a freezing road? Buddy, you should marry that dude, because there is no way in hell you'll ever find someone drunk or loving enough to do that kind of shit for you.

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A half ton of salt had to be poured on the section of road to make it safe again (so thanks for all the extra rust, jerko) and Byers was charged with charged with driving while intoxicated, careless driving, failure to stop at a stop sign, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to report an accident and disorderly conduct.

I think the lesson here is that if you ever are stupid/lucky enough to drive drunk, have a wreck, and make it home without killing you or someone else, stay home. Sheesh.