I'll buy this right now for the wife.
By now you might be elbows deep in Christmas ham or grease from installing that turbo kit that was exactly what you wanted this year. But if you decided that you or someone you love should have gotten an affordable classic rear-wheel drive hatchback instead, consider this AE86 up for grabs on eBay.
Jalopnik reader James wrote to us last night begging us to write about his 1985 Toyota Corolla GT-S that's currently being sold on eBay. He tells us that recently, after 11 years of glorious ownership, he ran into some financial trouble and had to sell it to a lifelong friend, but that friend is now forced to part with it as well. And the seller wrote a lovely tribute to James on the eBay page as well:
Without James all of our lives would be a little less special, I've known him since 1st grade. Aside from this girl I met in Florida who is no longer my friend due to social convention James is my oldest known friend. He is like a wraith, appearing and disappearing for months if not years at a time. But much like that voodoo chick from pirates of the caribbean, would you love him if he was any less than that? Some of the best memories I have he was part of, as most of my friends can also say, and some of the best he wasn't there but I know he would have loved the moment. I can't name a person that doesn't love him, in fact when Obama was up for election in 08 (the only time I voted) James got 3 write in votes on the ballot. From 3 separate people that didn't mention it to each other before hand. We all just new the US would have been a better place with him at the helm.
We could use more presidents who owned AE86s, I think.
Anyway, onto the car. James tells us that all he wants for Christmas this year is for us to share this story on Jalopnik and maybe help the AE86 find a new home, one that will take good care of it and keep it nice and sideways, where it belongs. "I love this car, I cry when I realize its still not sitting outside," he says. "Please, I don't want anything else for Christmas, just this."
As of this writing it's at just $2,850, which is a steal if you ask me. The car has the original 4AGE motor with a limited slip differential as well as an assortment of new parts, including new drilled rotors, new clutch master and slave cylinders, no rust, Celica Supra wheels, working cruise control, and a feature the seller calls "slide on demand."
Other features include "protection from all known STDs," the bragging rights of owning a car "built by a demi-god," and disability equipment "if your disability is being too badass." Here's what else the seller says:
Let me close this saying if we lived in a world where money as worthless and you traded goats or chickens for gasoline you would have to pry this car from our cold dead hands. It will forever be known as James' corolla no matter who owns it. We'd love to keep in touch with the future owners to follow its path through the world and some day buy it back when we are rich and famous (James will only be famous as money is of no use to him). This car will be written about in the history books for children to learn of decades from now, and you can sum the entire story up with one word... James.
I think it's a nice Christmas story, and the least I can do is share it with you all. I feel like some Jalop should own this car next and carry on James' legend. Come on, less than $3,000 for a decent quality hachiroku? Someone buy this before I snatch it up myself.