GIF via Eric Rood

I hate cooking. It’s tedious, and requires a finesse beyond “make sure this bolt is torqued to this exact amount or your timing belt will come loose and your engine will explode.” I follow the directions in recipes to the letter and still fail, every time. But I might be convinced to enjoy cooking if I had a tank.

This is what happens when the lunatics at Roadkill decide to make a cooking show, so naturally, they got a little help from Bullet Proof Diesel’s Chieftain Main Battle Tank.

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Here they are cooking a pizza, which of course, is the thinnest crust of all time because they ran it over with a tank. Just to be sure, they ran over the whole oven with a tank once the pizza was done. And in case that wasn’t enough flattening, they flatten even more things just for fun.

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The Chieftain Main Battle Tank was one of the British armed forces’ main players in the latter half of the Cold War, with a 120-millimeter cannon and a weight somewhere between 55 and 65 tons, per Roadkill. It’s more than enough to get the tender, flaky pizza crust you desire from a pizza.

Tanks are cool. Can I skip the cooking part and just crush things with a tank?