For $6,250, You Can Be Bass-AkwardsS

Did you hear the one about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder and got a little behind in his work? Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Chevy Bel Air will back you up no matter where you go, you just need to wonder if its price is gonna' make you back away?

Turned out there were far fewer pros than cons with yesterday’s Pro Street 1985 Plymouth Voyager, and it fell in a 78% Crack Pipe loss, our second substantial drubbing this week. Pro Street it may have been, but quid pro quo it ain't.

Today, I want you to turn back. Or turn around. Or turn. . .well shits and tinkles, I don’t really have any explanation for this ass-first 1954 Chevy Bel Air. The seller says that it was built by a retired Czech aircraft mechanic back in the sixties. Owing to what he did to this poor car I would suggest that “retired” is a euphemism for let go and possibly committed.

Let’s see what we’ve got here. There’s a Willys Hurricane (I think) under what is now a clamshell hood. That engine’s bolted to a 3-speed stick with a floor shifter, and there’s also a solid beam axle from a Willys keeping that end off the pavement.

For $6,250, You Can Be Bass-AkwardsS

The body has seen lots of work, and I’ll just let the pictures do the talking on that account. Suffice to say that this car would provide hours of family fun just walking around it and playing where’d that come from, and what the hell, man?!

But what really makes this Chevy evoke Moe Szyslak levels of whaaaaaaaaaa? is the fact that you drive it backwards. I mean, the car drives backwards, only you sit frontwards. No wait, you sit back-front while it goes. . . oh hell, now it’s got me all confused.

Along with the weirdness that is the bodywork, the driver’s seat has forced into a 180 and placed smack-dab in the middle over the driveline hump - BITCH SEAT! There’s also a small, uncomfortable looking fold down seat attached to one of the cruelly modded doors in case you wanted to paint lines on the road or potentially escape in a hurry.

For $6,250, You Can Be Bass-AkwardsS

The thing of it is, the engine - which remember is now the Willys four - is still in the front, er, back, and powers the back, um, front wheels through a former Jeep front axle still on leaf springs. The back window now sports a single wiper, and there is a set of eyebrowed headlamps fitted to the trunk lid, so potentially you could drive this thing on the street.

But why would you? The seller calls this a rat rod, and to be honest with you I’m getting pretty tired of people selling cars and calling them rat rods just because they’ve been too lazy to wash the bird shit off of them. Still, he says that it’s parade worthy, but I think that's only if you wanted to give the kids something to be afraid of other than just the clowns. Fuckin' clowns.

For $6,250, You Can Be Bass-AkwardsS

Maybe I’m being too harsh on this beast? It is after all a pretty stunning achievement and demonstrates both a lot of hand fabrication and a level of dedication to a singular goal not seen since the original moon landing, or the media coverage of what’s up with Kate Middleton’s vag.

And lo and beyond, it could be yours for $6,250. If you’ve ever wanted to freak out people on a one way street, or just feel like seeing the world burn, this Chevy may be your cup of hallucinogenic tea. But should anyone pay that much for it? What do you think, is that a fair price for this wildly customized Chevy? Or, does that price have you backing away as fast as you can?

You decide!

eBay out of Kansas, or go here if the ad disappears.

A nod and a wink to Seth for the tip!

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