Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Audi may be Tornado Red, but will you find that it’s its price and description that really blows?


As we all know, the fun of this game is getting to evaluate a car’s potential worth based on a general knowledge of the model’s desirability and proclivities, and the information given in its ad. Sometimes the former can be more accurate than the latter.

Last Friday we looked at a ’92 Mercedes 300TE 4Matic that the ad described as ‘runs and drives’ beautifully’ and that many of the potentially persnickety ancillary systems were in fine working fashion. That, some pretty pictures, and a sub two-grand price resulted in a massive 91% Nice Price win.


A few of you noted the litany of potential problems that car could manifest, and guess what, it turns out those of you who did might have been right.

The former owner of the car—he sold for $1,050 a few days before we looked at it—emailed me to let me know that the current seller’s ad omits a number of issues the car suffers. He wanted to set the record straight and so here’s his email (edited for brevity):

Hi Rob,

You can imagine my joy (and horror) when I was scrolling through my phone this morning (whilst on the toilet) and saw my former 300TE pop up as the NPCOP of the day.

The funny thing is, I sold it two days ago for a $1,050 - for a reason.

Here is the deal: I told the buyer about innumerable issues which aren’t being represented in the ad. So far this thing is blowing away the Nice Price, and frankly, it shouldn’t- at least if the truth is to be revealed...I suppose he didn’t have a strong constitution and gave in after a short time.

  • The car actually has 269,000 miles on it. Check the Carfax. I replaced the cluster a few weeks ago due to some issues with the speedometer. I didn’t give a shit about the milage, but wanted to see how fast I was going.
  • The alternator brushes are worn. If you drive the car for more than 20 miles on the freeway at a constant speed, it stops charging and dies, leaving you stranded and helpless.
  • The transmission slips in both 2nd and 3rd gear. And by slip I mean THUMP.
  • The 4matic system is inoperable. This means it is RWD only at this point in time. Unknown reason as to why.
  • The check engine light is on, the abs light is on, the airbag light is on (the funny thing is the cluster I ordered does not have holes for the 4matic or check engine light, so no one would ever know).
  • The rear self leveling/hydraulic system has a HUGE leak at the right rear of the car.

I did in fact (foolishly) dump all that money into the car. However, I simply gave up. I knew people were getting their tax monies back, so it was now or never to sell the thing. I hope the car finds a good home, but not in the manner this guy is going about it. Plus, to have the gall to attempt to sell it for $1,000 more than I sold it for (while being deceitful) is a crime against humanity.

Truly yours,


Hey, that’s what makes this fun, right? I mean, maybe all that’s been fixed by the present seller? Or, perhaps that old German ride with AWD may not be all that it’s cracked up to be as presented in the ad. At the end of the day remember: caveat emptor, don’t shit where you eat, and always remember to tip your waiter.


Maybe this 1987 Audi 4000CS Quattro will be all that it’s cracked up to be, after all it too is an old German ride with AWD!

This 250,000 mile 4000 is claimed rust-free, and the pictures seem to bear that out. It rocks a 2,309-cc SOHC five and, because we like such things, a five-speed stick as a mate. That feeds a Quattro full-time AWD system with locks on the center and rear diffs.



That motor has done the full 250K without any major work, which is pretty impressive for an ‘80s VAG mill. According to the ad it has had the timing belt and clutch replaced, as well as what it says is suspension, which one might assume to mean bushings and the like.

The interior is described as near perfect and rocks a pair of Recaro-esque front thrones (Airflow seats? Never heard of ‘em), and a Momo tiller. Only the door pockets seem to be AWOL here.

On the outside it’s Tornado Red and comes with two sets of Borbet wheels and tires. I‘m guessing winter and summer. The car presents well in the ad, with only some paint chipping off the window trim on the third light to belie its age.

What’s not to like? Well, the cruise control doesn’t cruise and there’s a tits-up window regulator on the passenger door. Perhaps most notable is the admission that the A/C needs a recharge. As we all know, that’s never all it needs.


Still, when was the last time you saw a 4000CS in such nice shape? These are fun cars and aside from the weird Audi green PS fluid, not terribly expensive ones to keep on the road.

Ah, but is this old German sedan worth $4,750 as it’s described in the ad? Remember we were burned all too recently. What do you think, does this ad seem on the level? More importantly, does this Audi seem worth $4,750?


You decide!

Spokane WA Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.


H/T to eddiebrannan for the hookup!

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