Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Lancer has what is quite possibly one of the most epic—and perhaps least car-appropriate—ad photos ever put on Craigslist. Let’s see if this rare wagon’s price supports the legend.

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BMW’s M3 could be considered legendary, well at least the original E30 edition so far. Yesterday’s 1998 BMW M3 was representative of that car’s follow up, the E36, and that particular one was orange-ier than a tanned and rested Trump. Unlike Trump’s, that car’s color was claimed to be easily returned to its original Alpine White as it was some form of wrap. It earned a solid 57% Nice Price win despite that present hue, and despite having an odometer suing for overtime pay as well. And, as we say in the biz, that’s a wrap.

Wait come back, there’s still more, including this 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer Ralliart Sportback upon which we have to pass judgement. Okay, let’s get started.

What if you really, really liked the style of Volvo’s boxy wagons, especially their unique devil’s horns, creeping up the sides, tail lights, but also really liked lesser appreciated Japanese brands over those coming out of Sweden, what would you do? Well, you might just go for this Lancer Sportback as it looks Volvo-esque, and in Ralliart from it’s sporty enough to let you pretend you’re in a swingin’ Swede.

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Mitsubishi introduced the Lancer in the U.S. in 2001 in replacement of the questionably-named Mirage. Lancer had long been a Chrysler nameplate however they yielded the rights to the name to partner Mitsubishi for use here at that time. Chrysler didn’t need it any more as they had way-cooler names like PT Cruiser.

We got three models of Lancer: a competent but dull sedan, the aforementioned wagon, and the rabid rally-bred Evolution which we all know and fart can. In 2004 a new trim level was added between the dull as dishwater base car and the EVO. That was the Ralliart, which started out with that pretty cool name, one that I consider far better than Lancer as that makes me think of lancer boil. Lancer? I don’t even know her!

In addition to the cool name, the semi-sporty model received a bigger 2.4-litre 4G69 four which was rated at 160-bhp, a 40-pony jump over the lower model’s 2-litre. Sport seats and a stiffer, lowered suspension abetted the car’s sporting pretensions.

This one, in refrigerator white, features those additions, a big, roomy back end, and—are you ready for this—a four-speed automatic transmission sending the power to the front wheels. Wow, did you just hear that? It was like the sound of thousands of balloons all being deflated at once.

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Yeah, it’s a slusher. Boo-hoo. I’m over it. After all, the seller positions this as a daily driver, noting that it gets a reasonable if unremarkable 33 mpg on the highway, and has a remote start so you needn’t chilly your willy on cold mornings.

It also comes with a number of add-ons that you might appreciate or think are totally unnecessary. Those include Road Race Motorsport ECU, Timing Box, and an under-drive pulley. Upgraded brakes, an aftermarket air intake, and a new anti-sway bar in back complete the current owner’s mechanical monkey business.

The car has 130,000 miles on the clock, a clean title, and comes with three sets of wheels so it’s a good thing it is a wagon. Apparently there’s even has a fourth set if you’ve got money to burn.

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Speaking of money, the price tag on this rare (claimed one of only 200 in the States) Ralliart is $4,500. That gets you an interesting driver that the seller says is in decent shape. And, based on the picture of the car with the Chrysler Crossfire, I’d say it imbues its owners with delusions of grandeur which is good, I guess.

What’s your take on this cool old (yes, 2004 is old) Mistu wagon and that $4,500 price based on its description? Does that seem fair to become a patron of the Ralliarts? Or, is that too much cash for too little sport?

You decide!

Pittsburgh PA Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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H/T to Tyler Folnsbee for the hookup!

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