For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People EaterS

Porsche named their first-ever SUV after a hot-ass pepper, but that model's reception from the brand purists was lukewarm at best. Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe custom turbo edition might just spice things up, but will its price leave you cucumber cold?

You ever hear of a one-hit wonder? You know, one and done? To the uninformed or confirmed pedestrian that appellation may seem to apply to Porsche as the company’s iconic and brand defining 911 line could appear to represent the brand almost exclusively.

Today’s 2008 Cayenne Turbo is an example of Porsche’s wildly successful SUV line, which proves that assertion false. It is however like a documented one hit wonder, the 1958 Billboard chart topper - the Purple People Eater - by actor and singer, Sheb Wooley.

For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People EaterS

Many of the attributes of that song’s titular character, the eponymous Purple People Eater, could easily apply to today’s candidate as well. Allow me to elucidate in corporate standard bullet point form.

  • Both the object of Wooley’s lyrics and this Porsche are people eaters, the big SUV offering true five passenger capacity and - heresy - four doors.
  • They both are purple, the Porsche even featuring a matte finish that like most one-hit wonders is likely (and hopefully) a short-term fad.
  • The both fly, the turbo-equipped V8 in the wagon being good for 500 horsepower, giving the SUV a scorching 4.8 second zero to sixty time.
  • Finally, they both are alien, the one-horned, one-eyed, Purple People Eater of the song coming to Earth and alighting in a tree, while the custom bodywork on this Cayenne makes it look like the Schwarzenegger-annoying Predator from the popular eighties flick.

Wooley’s alien wanted to rock, and this Porsche looks like it’s ready to rock somebody’s world. The ad describes the car as bing in perfect condition and with no problems whatsoever. It also notes the mileage at 70,244 which works out to about 15K per year, or about what you might expect.

For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People EaterS

Along with performance, Porsche knows how to make an interior look like it’s where your money has been spent, and this one is no exception. There’s a bunch of wood in there, extending even to the shift knob for the 6-speed Tiptronic. The lucky ducks riding in back also might appreciate the two video screens that are mounted just behind the front seat headrests.

But it’s the exterior that sets this Cayenne apart from its well-heeled soccer mom-toting brethren. The custom bodywork extends the fender flares to cover some serious meats, while the hood gains a pair of vented strakes which serve as angry eyebrows for the headlamps. And then there’s the nose, which really does look like the Predator from the movie of the same name. Or, perhaps it's emulating a current Lexus.

For $39,000, It’s A Four-Door, V8, Flying Purple People EaterS

If you’re a Porsche purist then it’s possible that no Cayenne, no matter how extroverted or purple, will float your boat or quell your animosity toward the model. If on the other hand you perhaps had the opportunity to drive a Cayenne, especially the balls to the wall Turbo V8 edition, then you might find that its driving dynamics are astonishing for a vehicle of its size and form, and would perhaps then give this one your consideration.

If that’s the case, you’ll now need to additionally consider this Porsche’s $39,900 price tag. Keep in mind that an optioned-up Cayenne Turbo back in 2008 was a six-figure car without question. Here we are five years later and this custom beast is a third of that. Viva depreciation!

What do you think about that price for this Purple People Eater of a Porsche, does that seem like a deal? Or, would you rather be eaten by an alien than pay that much?

You decide!

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