There’s a myth that China’s Great Wall is the only individual man-made object visible from space. I know that to be bunk, because that honor pretty obviously goes to today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Pontiac Grand Ville convertible. Will its price however, be something that even a spaceman could also see paying?
Not even the threat of a swift foot to the frank and beans could dissuade 57% of you from giving yesterday’s tatty 1988 535i its own Crack Pipe kick in the crotch. A car worthy of some interest it still seemed to be in far too poor of shape to warrant its threat-bearing owner’s current asking price.
When you take into consideration a gentleman’s tackle, the old maxim that size doesn’t matter is apparently false, as proven by this study from noted dick authority, The Huffington Post. Should you not. . . measure up shall we say, you could always overcompensate with another personal possession of ample proportion, like say today’s 1973 Pontiac Grand Ville convertible!
The Grand Ville first debuted in 1971 as the top o’ the heap model of Pontiac’s B-bodies. That kicked the Bonneville down a rung, eliminating the long forgotten Executive from the range.
This ’73 is powered by Pontiac’s massive Torquemada 455, an engine that itself debuted in 1970. By this model year its output was a factory claimed 250-bhp and 370 ft-lbs of twist in regular 4BBL form and, respectively, 290/380 in Super Duty.
That huge V8 is backed up by a 3-speed Turbo Hydramatic, those of you hoping to row your own in a vehicle that needs to shop in the Big and Tall department obviously expressing disappointment. The body on frame structure of the big B-body stretches over 19 feet in length making this one of the longest production convertibles ever to drop its top. Weight of the convertible model for ’73 was a stout 4,340 pounds, and that year 4,447 lumbered their way out of the factory. Oh, one final factoid - 11 miles per gallon. If you’re lucky. And have a tail wind.
The early seventies was the high point for massive metal on American roads - sort of the last hurrah of the dinosaurs before an OPEC-ordered meteor took them out. This survivor looks to be in decent shape considering its claim of just being pulled from 2 years of stasis. Also, I’ll bet it’s thirsty.
The seller says he’s given it a fresh fill of fluids, and has taken the boat on a 100 mile cruise to ensure that it is free of the kind of issues that might show up in the first 100 miles after awakening. Some of the features that may be troublesome in the future are power everything - seriously: six-way seats, windows, door locks, and the full-Cleveland top.
That last part is large enough to keep the rain off all 6 passengers in the commodious and very red interior. It also sports a glass backlight and the Grand Ville is the rare convertible that looks great top up or down. Opening either of the massive doors reveals another blast from the past- the “Body By Fisher” carriage logo that used to adorn the door sills of GM cars back when they were mostly wonderful.
While somewhat tired and described as being in need of a restoration, this 92,000 mile Grand Ville still looks pretty cool, and its Rubenesque proportions mean there’s lots to love. Oh sure, the engine compartment looks like that dirt villain from the Spiderman movie took a dump in there, but overall the rest of the car looks reasonably complete and serviceable.
But is it worth $3,500? That’s up to you to decide today, whether or not the guy who pulled this Pontiac out of the garage is also pulling a fast one with its price.
H/T to Jesse for the Hookup!
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