Jalopnik: Fail

Über Fail: $1.6 million Bugatti Veyron loses drag race to Nissan GT-R

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:00:00 EST

The appeal of the Bugatti Veyron is it's so fast and so well-engineered any obscenely wealthy person can hop into it and be faster than other, poorer, people. Not this guy. He appears to not understand how the vehicle's launch control works and sits there, lamely, as the guy in the GT-R blows him away. More »

This crashed cargo ship is like a disaster frozen in time

Raphael Orlove — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:00:00 EDT

If you've ever wondered how strong moving water can be, just look at how the steel cargo containers of the Liberian-flagged Rena are getting bent, torn, and crushed. More »

How Dodge gave out my phone number to America

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 15:00:00 EDT

This weekend, Dodge bombarded America's football viewers with commercials advertising clues to find one of three free Dodge Journey crossovers hidden across the country. Unfortunately for one New Yorker, the last clue was his phone number. But he had nothing to do with the contest. Dodge Marketing FAIL. UPDATE! More »

Watch two New Jersey National Guard trucks drown trying to drive underwater

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 14:00:00 EDT

The LMTV is a highly capable truck designed to move anything anywhere for the military. They're also popular rescue vehicles because of their ability to drive in high water. But, as the NJ National Guard discovered during the Hurricane Irene aftermath, and as shown in this video, there are limits. More »

This is why you don't drive through standing water

Ray Wert — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 10:10:00 EDT

While walking along South Street on lower Manhattan's east side to inspect damage from Hurricane Irene, I found huge pools of water at a few of the intersections. It wasn't water inundation from New York's East River so much as it was runoff from the overpass, flowing down into already-overburdened storm sewers. More »

How not to sell a used Aston Martin DB9

Mike Spinelli — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:30:00 EDT

This "immaculate" 2007 Aston Martin DB9 may have lost more than half its value to the depreciation monster, but we'd imagine the owner who's trying to sell it by placing a classified ad in a free daily newspaper in Washington, D.C. might be sort of, you know, doing it wrong. (Thanks to Robert for the tip!) More »

Ford destroys Chevy in epic game of truck tug o' war

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Owners of Ford and Chevy trucks have spent at least 300 years fighting over who builds the best hauler. We may have a definitive answer in the form of this awesome brown Ford truck literally tearing his friend's Chevy limb-from-limb until the frame is ripped from the suspension and the whole thing flips over. More »

Iranian passenger jet crashes into refueling truck

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 10:30:00 EDT

Passengers on an Iran Air flight learned the hard way why you should keep your seat belt securely fastened while taxiing after their plane collided with a truck loaded with jet fuel. More »

How not to repair your headlight

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:30:00 EDT

A shattered lens is a sure recipe for headlight failure, but the owner of this Ford Focus has managed to fail even more in their attempt to remedy the problem. More »

Boeing fails to load Ferraris into new cargo plane during demo

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 13:30:00 EDT

Is there a better way to show off a giant new freighter for potential buyers than loading two new Ferraris into the cargo bay at the Paris Air Show? Don't ask Boeing, because when they tried to load this Ferrari FF into its 747-8F cargo plane the equipment broke. How do you say "FAIL" in French? More »

New York installs parking spot on top of crosswalk

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 14:30:00 EDT

Every parking spot is a potential source of income, so you can't blame New York City for trying squeeze another one in unless you're the person who uses the crosswalk they put the new metered parking spot on top of. Infrastructure FAIL. More »

Watch a bad rally crash cause a worse rally crash

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:30:00 EDT

We're not entirely sure where this crash is, we just know the rally marshals who let it happen should all be fired. The first accident with the Golf is part of rallying and probably unavoidable, but the proximity of spectators nearly results in the beheading of the photographer. More »

Silly German mistakes his Porsche for a U-Boat

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 14:30:00 EDT

I don't care how many advertisements you see bolstering the Porsche Cayenne's off-road abilities — the big VW won't float, as this man in Hamburg learned yesterday during the city's flood event. This rule also applies to Mercedes. Hat tip RentalCarGuy! More »

Watch NASCAR magician's Camaro stunt go horribly wrong

Justin Hyde — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 15:00:00 EDT

An Atlanta magician who calls himself "The Great Moodini" was ready to entertain the crowds at Atlanta Motor Speedway last week with his stunt of escaping from shackles chained to a moving car. The car moved — and so did he. More »

Caption this cable van flooding fail

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:00:00 EDT

If you're in the Detroit area waiting for your cable service to be hooked up, perhaps you should give the tech the benefit of the doubt when they say they're flooded with work and will be a little late. (Via The Detroit Free Press Facebook page1) More »

Vladimir Putin car marketing stunt fail

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 12 May 2011 11:00:00 EDT

The team at Lada were pleased to have Russian Prime Minister and judo master Vladimir Putin on hand to test out their new budget model Granta sedan. Think of all the cameras! Unfortunately, the car wouldn't start. More »

How not to load a car onto a flatbed truck

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 09 May 2011 16:20:00 EDT

We've already seen "Why did you turn," and now we have "Why did you accelerate?" Why is it suddenly so hard to load cars onto trucks these days? More »

Video of Lamborghini crash may contradict "shoe" claim

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:30:00 EDT

New video of the Underground Racing twin-turbo Lamborghini Gallardo crash bring into question the explanation offered up by the owner that a "broken shoe" was the cause of the accident. More »

Watch two dudes almost die hooning a BMW M3

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 10:00:00 EDT

This YouTube member goes by the name "MrAutoReviewers," but the newest car anyone will let him drive appears to be a 1999 BMW M3. And even that's too much for him and his buddy. Darkness, darkness, GMC, darkness. NSFW lanaguage/idiocy. More »

Young punk and old meathead fight over parking spot

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 13:30:00 EDT

Supras weren't the only ones trading blows at TX2K11 this weekend. Watch as this elder statesman tries to convince the younger gentleman it's best he finds another holding pen for his moto-contraption. More »

How gearheads move a mattress

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 12:00:00 EST

I like these guys. I do. They spend the precious few hours they're not working for the man working on their rarely-running C4 'Vette. But is this the best way to compress a box-spring so it'll fit in your Expedition? More »

Painful-looking truck jump is an epic FAIL

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:30:00 EST

The driver of this Silverado avoids the chilling reach of Darwin when he plows nose-first into the a dirt ramp, thanks mostly to a helmet and a little luck. The same can't be said for the truck. More »

This Is The Ugliest Toyota MR2 Ever Built

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:00:00 EST

What started life as a Toyota MR2 was transformed into the unholy combination of a Prowler and Testarossa if designed by a guy whose work was too controversial for VeilSide. Vote it the biggest Tokyo Auto Salon fail here. [TopGear] More »

How Not To Load A Motorcycle

Justin Hyde — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:30:00 EST

Steve was ready. Steve prepared. Steve knew not to turn. None of that "why did you turn" business for Steverino. Nope. Straight up the ramp into the truck. Steady as she goes, Steve. Steady...steady, little gas...oof. Oh Steve... (H/T SLRSpeedshop!) More »

This Is Why You Don't Off-Road Your Kia

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 09:00:00 EST

The Kia Sportage may be an underrated compact SUV, but it's not for off-roading. This enthusiastic Polish Dakar wannabe finds out the hard way, nearly starting a forest fire trying to get it to turnover. (H/T to Mateusz) [via Motofilm.pl] More »

Fiery Honda Civic Burnout FAIL

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 15:00:00 EST

What's the difference between an epic fiery burnout and a failure of a fiery burnout? Having someone around with a fire extinguisher instead of a can of Four Loko. More »

Why You Don't Push A Car In Drive

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 12:30:00 EST

This young woman's plan to push her snow-encumbered car while in drive fails predictably when it crashes into the house. If only there'd been someone around to help her... (H/T everyone) More »

Bad Drivers Are Killing Cars & Coffee

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 15:30:00 EST

Cars & Coffee events give the guy with the GLHS a chance to hang with Gallardos in a judgment free zone, but someone is deserving of judgment: the assclown in the Viper trying to ruin it for all of us. More »

How Not To Strap A Mitsubishi Evo To A Dyno

Justin Hyde — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:30:00 EST

It's one thing when an engine gives up during a dyno test; quite another when the whole car tries to jump down. These Puerto Rico students have a little more to learn about strapping all-wheel-drive vehicles down for tests. More »

800 HP Shelby GT500 Explodes On Dyno

Justin Hyde — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 16:30:00 EST

This 2008 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 was the beneficiary of several upgrades that boosted it to nearly 800 horsepower — until the engine decided to experiment with external combustion. Dynomite! More »

First, They Sold Their Dictionaries

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 15:00:00 EST

This Mini dealership outside of London's offering hot deals on new Coopers and Clubmans. You could even call them irresistible, especially since they seem unable to. [@beanieE] More »

Victory Lap FAIL!

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 16:00:00 EST

Congratulations, you've just won the 2010 DD2 Rotax World Karting Championship, what are you going to do now? "I'm going to Disne... oh crap, oh crap, oh crap." More »

High Performance Pontiac Magazine Disses High Performance Pontiac Owners

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 16:00:00 EDT

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High Performance Pontiac magazine might want to reconsider its implication that anyone who has a 2004-2006 Holden-based Pontiac GTO doesn't own a real one, especially given that those readers are a part of whatever subscription base they've got left. More »

Burnout! Burnout! That Was Not A Burnout...

Ms. Motor — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 13:30:00 EDT

A little piece of advice to this obvious Mensa member: If you don't know how to do a burnout, I suggest you practice off-camera before having your two-faced friend film you. (Hat tip to dezcori!) More »

Volvo Pedestrian Avoidance Test Fails Spectacularly

Ray Wert — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 08:00:00 EDT

Four months after a press event featuring an early crash avoidance test's embarrassing failure, Volvo's had a second PR mishap. This time, it involves their new pedestrian avoidance technology. As you can see, it does everything but avoid pedestrians. More »

Electrical Wiring FAIL

Rob Krider — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 14:30:00 EDT

Gasoline, hot exhaust, intense racing conditions is that why this car burned to the ground. Nope. Bad relay under the dash. Why would you put a British relay in a Japanese car? More »

Is This Brake Rotor Going The Right Way?

Rob Krider — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 11:30:00 EDT

Since everyone that comments on Jalopnik is a self proclaimed expert on all things automotive, I thought I'd ask those "In-The-Know" if they think this rotor is going the wrong way. More »

Why You Don't Tow A Sailboat With Your Mustang

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:00:00 EDT

A boater in New Hampshire backed his Ford Mustang to the edge of the ocean to remove his sailboat. It didn't work, and his Mustang ended up in the drink, followed by the truck trying to save it. Massive FAIL. More »

The NYPD Shows Us How Not To Tow A Nissan GT-R

Ray Wert — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:00:00 EDT

Nissan's really clear about not towing a GT-R with wheels on the ground, but that's not stopping the NYPD from doing just that this morning near Spinelli's offices. Would it have killed the boys in blue to use a flatbed? More »

How A Gamer Lost A $50,000 Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 09:30:00 EDT

An attendee at this year's QuakeCon gaming festival in Dallas sold one of the 100 raffle tickets for a $48,645 Shelby GT500 for just $200. Moments later they drew it as the winning ticket. Video with predictably NSFW language. More »