Screencap via The Grand Tour

Would you like to talk about cars alongside potentially irritating co-hosts on an original Amazon Prime show? Do you have an unnatural fondness for denim and prog rock, but are too British to be Jay Leno? We found the temp job for you!

Amazon’s video department just listed a job opening for a TV host “willing to pause before delivering the final word or words of some sentences.” However, they specified that it’s only a temporary opening “to cover an absence due to pneumonia.”

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Naturally, this listing comes right after Jeremy Clarkson was hospitalized for pneumonia while on vacation from The Grand Tour. Since Clarkson seems to have recovered well enough to talk about his near-death experience with the illness, I suspect this temporary position won’t be for long.

Still, the only car nuts who say they haven’t dreamed of taking Clarkson’s job are probably lying about that. Behold, your dream job awaits:

DESCRIPTION

Amazon Prime Video is seeking a host for an original TV series to be seen around the world.

Currently, this is a temporary position to cover an absence due to pneumonia.

The successful applicant will join a long-established team of variously sized co-hosts and possess a strong knowledge of cars, metaphors and progressive rock music.

This host will have a proven track record in effectively dealing with colleagues that they find annoying and being lost in unknown locations. They must be entertaining, engaging and willing to pause before delivering the final word or words of some sentences.

Please note: Preference will be given to especially tall candidates with curly hair.

RESPONSIBILITIES

· This role will work closely with the existing hosts, with duties including (but not limited to) accidentally setting things on fire, handling heavy machinery (badly) and being able to bloody-mindedly argue a point that no one will ever agree.
· Driving the world’s fastest and most exciting cars while talking to camera. Ability to do this without crashing would be considered an advantage, but not essential (apparently).

BASIC QUALIFICATIONS

· Valid driver’s license
· British English including advanced qualification in exaggeration and braggadocio
· At least 6.5+ million followers on Twitter or similar social media network

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS

· The successful applicant will be required to wear vast amounts of pre-washed denim (attire provided in sizes that are slightly too small)

Best of luck to all the applicants, and watch out: that much tight denim sounds like it could chafe.

(If a similar opening for a short person who crashes cars opens up, call me.)

Hat tip to mbbick!