A perverse part of me sort of admires this idiot. Firstly, because this guy seems to actually own a grape-soda-colored Honda Pilot, and secondly because you have to admire the power of rage-thinking when it can make a presumably mostly-rational human think they can win a tug-of-war with a tow truck and somehow all their problems will be solved.

Look how hard this Florida Man (as if I even had to say that) is fighting this doomed battle. Those front tires are scrabbling for any kind of grip, as the rest of his SUV gets dragged backwards. It’s terrible for the car, of course, but that’s not the point. In this guy’s head, he must believe that if he can just pull that tow truck back a few feet, the driver will concede defeat, unhook his car, and shake his hand, since there’s no shame in being beaten by the best.

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Then, a bikini-clad woman will drape a lei of flowers over his head and the mayor of Orlando will come and declare him the Parking Lot King, with all parking infractions pardoned from now until eternity. All hail the Parking Lot King!

Idiot.


Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.