<![CDATA[Comments from comedian]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Comments from comedian]]> http://jalopnik.com/people/comedian http://jalopnik.com/people/comedian comedian commented on Project Car Hell: Porsche 928 or '58 Lincoln Continental? Speaking of the New England 24 hrs of Lemons, are there any Jalop teams in CT?

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http://jalopnik.com/390117/project-car-hell-porsche-928-or-58-lincoln-continental#c5683464 http://jalopnik.com/390117/project-car-hell-porsche-928-or-58-lincoln-continental#c5683464 Tue, 13 May 2008 23:24:19 EDT
comedian commented on Friday Consumerist Flickr Pool Finds  
Diet Coke Plus Girl looks a bit like Melanie Hutsell.

[www.imdb.com]

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http://consumerist.com/376282/friday-consumerist-flickr-pool-finds#c5514499 http://consumerist.com/376282/friday-consumerist-flickr-pool-finds#c5514499 Sun, 04 May 2008 02:31:33 EDT
comedian commented on Mazda To Destroy $100 Million Worth Of Brand New Cars  
@EyeHeartPie:

You are 100% wrong in your assertion. Mazda not only destroyed the cars, they made a special point of destroying high value easily removable parts from every car.

From the article (each numbered point is a direct copy/paste from the linked WSH piece:

1) Insurers covering Mazda's losses wanted to be sure the company wouldn't resell any cars or parts -- thereby profiting on the side.

2) So every steel-alloy wheel has to be sliced, every battery rendered inoperable, and every tire damaged beyond repair. All CD players must get smashed."

3) Steel-alloy wheels are sliced with high-power saws to make sure they won't be resold. Holes are drilled into every tire.

4) The cars get placed into a crusher that applies 25,000 pounds per square inch of pressure, flattening them into colorful slabs.

5) The cars get placed into a crusher that applies 25,000 pounds per square inch of pressure, flattening them into colorful slabs.

Next stop: Schnitzer Steel, a salvage yard down on the waterfront that's home to an immense metal grinder. "You turn 7,000-horsepower hammers loose on them, and they're eaten in 10 seconds," says Jamie Wilson, Schnitzer's manager. A bemused smile spreads across his face as another load of Mazdas disappears into its maw.

Moments later, metal shards -- most no bigger than an ashtray -- sprinkle onto a mountain of scrap near Schnitzer's dock. There, a freighter prepares to take the scrap back to Asia where it will get recycled.

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http://consumerist.com/5007542/mazda-to-destroy-100-million-worth-of-brand-new-cars#c5488978 http://consumerist.com/5007542/mazda-to-destroy-100-million-worth-of-brand-new-cars#c5488978 Fri, 02 May 2008 01:15:44 EDT
comedian commented on What Will You Do With Your Economic Stimulus Check?  
@EBone:
 
Right there with you EBone.
 

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http://consumerist.com/5007336/what-will-you-do-with-your-economic-stimulus-check#c5461107 http://consumerist.com/5007336/what-will-you-do-with-your-economic-stimulus-check#c5461107 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:35:18 EDT
comedian commented on Cougar Ace Mazdas Face The Crusher, We Cry  
@workingonyourinvoice:

Not for nothing. Not only did they did
save the ship itself, their heroic work
avoided an environmental catastrophe
by keeping the ship from breaking up
and dumping its 100,000+ gallons of
fuel into the ocean.

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http://jalopnik.com/385441/cougar-ace-mazdas-face-the-crusher-we-cry#c5451637 http://jalopnik.com/385441/cougar-ace-mazdas-face-the-crusher-we-cry#c5451637 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:06:00 EDT
comedian commented on 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, Reviewed  
@Adamskiy: I've always figured the reason for staggered releases is to increase the total demand for the model.

Sell slushboxes at first to satisfy appearance-hounds that don't care about the transmission. After the initial "I don't care what tranmission it has Gimme-Gimme-Gimme" demand is satisfied, then sell the manual version later on because purists will be willing to wait.

The same thing happens with features like uprated motors, all wheel drive and drop tops options. Sell the more basic model first while demand is most plentiful, then start serving the smaller segments of the market as the big initial demand pulse gets fulfilled with the vanilla-mobiles.

Just a theory, and I'm sure an economist would likely have more purpose specific words to describe this idea.

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http://jalopnik.com/385437/2008-dodge-challenger-srt8-reviewed#c5448906 http://jalopnik.com/385437/2008-dodge-challenger-srt8-reviewed#c5448906 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 08:08:21 EDT
comedian commented on Should Microsoft Extend XP's Life?

"If they're not buying what you're selling, start selling what they're buying." - Paraphrased from a Tom Reilly 'Value Added Selling" lesson.

[www.amazon.com]

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http://lifehacker.com/384068/should-microsoft-extend-xps-life#c5443376 http://lifehacker.com/384068/should-microsoft-extend-xps-life#c5443376 Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:56:38 EDT
comedian commented on Grocery Shrink Ray Hits Edy's Ice Cream

I keep waiting for the CT AG's office to crack down on ice cream selling scoff laws but so far no redress is coming

[comedian.blogspot.com]

[216.92.151.22]

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http://consumerist.com/385225/grocery-shrink-ray-hits-edys-ice-cream#c5443000 http://consumerist.com/385225/grocery-shrink-ray-hits-edys-ice-cream#c5443000 Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:31:58 EDT
comedian commented on RENNtech Sends Us Funny Pictures, We Talk About Their Brakes Holy rotational inertia!

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http://jalopnik.com/385186/renntech-sends-us-funny-pictures-we-talk-about-their-brakes#c5430264 http://jalopnik.com/385186/renntech-sends-us-funny-pictures-we-talk-about-their-brakes#c5430264 Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:57:02 EDT
comedian commented on Volkswagen Plans To Sell Majority Of CC's In US, Would Sell Better As Cu. In. Yeah, because the W8 Passats sold so well...

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http://jalopnik.com/384886/volkswagen-plans-to-sell-majority-of-ccs-in-us-would-sell-better-as-cu-in#c5413608 http://jalopnik.com/384886/volkswagen-plans-to-sell-majority-of-ccs-in-us-would-sell-better-as-cu-in#c5413608 Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:00:56 EDT
comedian commented on Suzuki SX4 First American Car Under $16K With Standard Nav, Take That SYNC

Johnny Lieberman did one over at TTAC in January.

[www.thetruthaboutcars.com]

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http://jalopnik.com/384376/suzuki-sx4-first-american-car-under-16k-with-standard-nav-take-that-sync#c5392603 http://jalopnik.com/384376/suzuki-sx4-first-american-car-under-16k-with-standard-nav-take-that-sync#c5392603 Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:21:14 EDT
comedian commented on Around The World At 154 MPH, No Problems  
@SundaySundayFnC:

154 mph = 413,952 furlongs per fortnight

(Source: [www.google.com] )

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http://jalopnik.com/381762/around-the-world-at-154-mph-no-problems#c5383295 http://jalopnik.com/381762/around-the-world-at-154-mph-no-problems#c5383295 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:42:24 EDT
comedian commented on Around The World At 154 MPH, No Problems

Great 190E 2.3-16 article here:

[www.motivemag.com]

A slightly modified, higher-geared version of the car broke twelve speed records by covering 31,000 miles at the Nardo oval in Italy in just eight days, moving at an average of 154 mph.

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http://jalopnik.com/381762/around-the-world-at-154-mph-no-problems#c5379387 http://jalopnik.com/381762/around-the-world-at-154-mph-no-problems#c5379387 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:14:24 EDT
comedian commented on More Gross Stuff Found In Vitamin Water Looks like a piece of filter media.

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http://consumerist.com/383893/more-gross-stuff-found-in-vitamin-water#c5373699 http://consumerist.com/383893/more-gross-stuff-found-in-vitamin-water#c5373699 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:28:20 EDT
comedian commented Murilee,

You're going to need a wider angle lens if you want to keep shooting these boats.

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#c5373587 #c5373587 Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:23:36 EDT
comedian commented on The Wreckage Of The HMS Aston Martin DBS  
@PatFromGundo:

I believe that's "Who's the U-Boat Commander?"

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http://jalopnik.com/382836/the-wreckage-of-the-hms-aston-martin-dbs#c5326992 http://jalopnik.com/382836/the-wreckage-of-the-hms-aston-martin-dbs#c5326992 Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:55:56 EDT
comedian commented on 268 MPH Mercedes Lotec C1000 Found Hiding In North Carolina Dealership Maybe you have to crack the car in half to replace the clutch?

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http://jalopnik.com/382006/268-mph-mercedes-lotec-c1000-found-hiding-in-north-carolina-dealership#c5297093 http://jalopnik.com/382006/268-mph-mercedes-lotec-c1000-found-hiding-in-north-carolina-dealership#c5297093 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:11:28 EDT
comedian commented on Monster Cable Threatens The Wrong Small Cable Manufacturer  

Website for the Blue Jeans Cable [www.bluejeanscable.com]

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http://consumerist.com/380082/monster-cable-threatens-the-wrong-small-cable-manufacturer#c5205979 http://consumerist.com/380082/monster-cable-threatens-the-wrong-small-cable-manufacturer#c5205979 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:43:34 EDT
comedian commented on RC Car Plays Mario Brothers Theme On Bottles  
Very cool, but I am troubled by the lack of joyful celebration after the successful run is completed.

What good is pulling off a great trick like this is you don't take the time to enjoy it?

And what's the deal with the dour looking security-guard type near the end of the bottles? He seems double non-plussed by the whole thing.

The super low key ending left me feeling as empty as a C flat bottle.

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http://jalopnik.com/379885/rc-car-plays-mario-brothers-theme-on-bottles#c5201455 http://jalopnik.com/379885/rc-car-plays-mario-brothers-theme-on-bottles#c5201455 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:00:53 EDT
comedian commented on A Tale Of Two Target Managers And A PS3 With Mismatched Serial Numbers "GSTL" = Guest Services Team Leader.

The person, or in this case the vindictive chimp, in charge of the return desk at a Target.

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http://consumerist.com/378425/a-tale-of-two-target-managers-and-a-ps3-with-mismatched-serial-numbers#c5131887 http://consumerist.com/378425/a-tale-of-two-target-managers-and-a-ps3-with-mismatched-serial-numbers#c5131887 Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:36:33 EDT
comedian commented on Huge LEGO Yellow Castle Version Looks Bigger than Most Apartments It isn't six times bigger is is 6^3 times bigger. It is a 6:1 scaled model, but that means that each dimension grows by 6x, which in three space comes out to this set being 216 times bigger than the original.

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http://gizmodo.com/377179/huge-lego-yellow-castle-version-looks-bigger-than-most-apartments#c5075101 http://gizmodo.com/377179/huge-lego-yellow-castle-version-looks-bigger-than-most-apartments#c5075101 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:56:37 EDT
comedian commented on NY Times Profiles Vagina-Equipped DeLorean Owner You missed the best part, found in the slide show at the linked article.

Her NY vanity plate reads "DELAUREN", probably the real reason she bought the car was just so she could have the plate.

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http://jalopnik.com/376970/ny-times-profiles-vagina+equipped-delorean-owner#c5071410 http://jalopnik.com/376970/ny-times-profiles-vagina+equipped-delorean-owner#c5071410 Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:58:59 EDT
comedian commented on Waking Up In Garbage Truck May Be A Sign Of A Drinking Problem Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

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http://jalopnik.com/374707/waking-up-in-garbage-truck-may-be-a-sign-of-a-drinking-problem#c4970147 http://jalopnik.com/374707/waking-up-in-garbage-truck-may-be-a-sign-of-a-drinking-problem#c4970147 Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:18:34 EDT
comedian commented on Brick Correction Tape Lets You LEGO Your Mistakes @pilau: Mr. pilau, meet Mr. Megablok.

You can copy things like this, you just can't call it a Lego brand product.

Too bad you feel comfortable declaring what is legal and what isn't despite your total lack of a clue.

I'm sure your parents are pissed.

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http://gizmodo.com/373283/brick-correction-tape-lets-you-lego-your-mistakes#c4927349 http://gizmodo.com/373283/brick-correction-tape-lets-you-lego-your-mistakes#c4927349 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:52:33 EDT
comedian commented on Ready For The Hammer Party? Is there any chance that the original paint job painted over the AMG badge as (apparently) the respray paint job did as well?

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http://jalopnik.com/373268/ready-for-the-hammer-party#c4923341 http://jalopnik.com/373268/ready-for-the-hammer-party#c4923341 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:28:42 EDT
comedian commented on Buy A Mercedes 190E 2.3-16 And Put A Little Herr On Your Chest A few months back I uploaded a 2.3-16 ad from '86 to youtube.

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http://jalopnik.com/372527/buy-a-mercedes-190e-23+16-and-put-a-little-herr-on-your-chest#c4890965 http://jalopnik.com/372527/buy-a-mercedes-190e-23+16-and-put-a-little-herr-on-your-chest#c4890965 Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:43:18 EDT
comedian commented on All-in-One Digital Eyepiece Camera for Hunters, Birdlovers, Spies $449 doesn't include the spotting scope, just the "camera," so you'll still have to buck up for the lens.

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http://gizmodo.com/366646/all+in+one-digital-eyepiece-camera-for-hunters-birdlovers-spies#c4671714 http://gizmodo.com/366646/all+in+one-digital-eyepiece-camera-for-hunters-birdlovers-spies#c4671714 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:22:49 EDT
comedian commented Without having the interest that services the national debt on the chart it is pretty much meaningless.

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#c4505360 #c4505360 Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:25:02 EST
comedian commented on What's The Coolest Car You've Seen Parked On The Street? This Netherlands registration Pinzgauer I parked next to in Iceland.

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http://jalopnik.com/361353/whats-the-coolest-car-youve-seen-parked-on-the-street#c4429598 http://jalopnik.com/361353/whats-the-coolest-car-youve-seen-parked-on-the-street#c4429598 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:38:41 EST
comedian commented on Commenter of the Day: Herb Tarlek Edition Great stories Smitty!

I have to admit I didn't know what Bon Ami was (other than "Good Friend" en Francais) and Google turned up this funny bit as the #2 search result:
 

"A clean household is your goal,
and Bon Ami believes that a clean
environment should be everyone's goal."

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http://jalopnik.com/358345/commenter-of-the-day-herb-tarlek-edition#c4298314 http://jalopnik.com/358345/commenter-of-the-day-herb-tarlek-edition#c4298314 Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:40:21 EST
comedian commented on Maryland Street Racing Crash Leaves 8 Dead, One Crumpled Crown Vic One more thought. There appears to be a dirty spot on the front bumper where the front license plate was (very!) recently removed.

Professional courtesy, or merely protecting the identity of the CVPI's driver?

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http://jalopnik.com/357412/maryland-street-racing-crash-leaves-8-dead-one-crumpled-crown-vic#c4261488 http://jalopnik.com/357412/maryland-street-racing-crash-leaves-8-dead-one-crumpled-crown-vic#c4261488 Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:37:13 EST
comedian commented on Maryland Street Racing Crash Leaves 8 Dead, One Crumpled Crown Vic The D.C. area is crawling with a #10 can's worth of alphabet soup agencies. The CVPI could belong to any number of agencies.

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http://jalopnik.com/357412/maryland-street-racing-crash-leaves-8-dead-one-crumpled-crown-vic#c4261418 http://jalopnik.com/357412/maryland-street-racing-crash-leaves-8-dead-one-crumpled-crown-vic#c4261418 Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:22:14 EST
comedian commented on Photographer Mistaken for Gunman The Connecticut state Capitol building was locked down for virtually the same reason back in 2002, a video camera being mistaken for a machine gun.

[www.cspaaa.com]

At least when in happened in CT, "Authorities admitted some glitches."

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http://gizmodo.com/354704/photographer-mistaken-for-gunman#c4138211 http://gizmodo.com/354704/photographer-mistaken-for-gunman#c4138211 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:08:00 EST
comedian commented on Who Can Do Better Than A $38K Honda Accord? Win A Prize! Base Cayman loaded up:

Base price: $49,400.00
Price for Equipment: $58,990.00
Total Price:* $108,390.00

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http://jalopnik.com/354248/who-can-do-better-than-a-38k-honda-accord-win-a-prize#c4115318 http://jalopnik.com/354248/who-can-do-better-than-a-38k-honda-accord-win-a-prize#c4115318 Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:58:22 EST
comedian commented on Baller Status: 1600 Bucks Worth of Taurus SHO "Adam's SHO emporium - the home of the $1600 SHO."

Great find! I clicked to flag for CL's "Best Of."

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http://jalopnik.com/353098/baller-status-1600-bucks-worth-of-taurus-sho#c4070943 http://jalopnik.com/353098/baller-status-1600-bucks-worth-of-taurus-sho#c4070943 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 08:47:21 EST
comedian commented on Master Photoshop's "Select Color Range" My vote is that it is Troy Hitch from Big Fat Brain itself.

Listen to the commentary of the first episode of "Itty Bitty Liddy," and Troy sounds an awful lot like Donnie Hoyle.

[www.mydamnchannel.com]

Then click the commentary button at the bottom.

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http://lifehacker.com/351714/master-photoshops-select-color-range#c4022967 http://lifehacker.com/351714/master-photoshops-select-color-range#c4022967 Sun, 03 Feb 2008 14:44:25 EST
comedian commented on Master Photoshop's "Select Color Range" The whole series might be a viral campaign. Effective, but sneaky.

Phebco.com website, including a PhebCo People page that has a listing for Donnie Hoyle as "Associate Mgr., Dumping."

Also, Phebco "stuff" at CafePress

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http://lifehacker.com/351714/master-photoshops-select-color-range#c4016984 http://lifehacker.com/351714/master-photoshops-select-color-range#c4016984 Sat, 02 Feb 2008 08:57:22 EST
comedian commented on Flying BMW Crashes and Kills Occupants, Darwin Wins Re-reading the facts, I'd missed that the fall was only 70 feet down over 200 feet horizontal.

It changes the launch speed only a little bit, up to 66 mph, but it decreases the energy contribution from the fall.

Doesn't change impact speed much either, ups the estimate to maybe 80mph impact speed. Does lower the flight time to the correct for 70 foot fall 2.09 seconds mentioned elsewhere.

I wonder what the orientation of the car was on impact? What part hit first?

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http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3948507 http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3948507 Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:56:28 EST
comedian commented on Flying BMW Crashes and Kills Occupants, Darwin Wins (I hadn't been able to hear the video until now, couldn't have the sound turned on at work. Flight time would still be about the same, but launch speed would be higher to cover the distance.)

I was thinking about this on my commute home and it occurred to me I had made one more unstated assumption. I had assumed that the car launched off of the flat edge of the runway, and not first run along the tapering down ground next to the runway before going airborne.

In my haste I'd also forgotten to point out that in a vacuum the flight (fall) time from 85 would be the same (given a zero degree launch angle) regardless of launch speed. Double checking my flight time I come up with 2.35 seconds to fall 85 feet in a vacuum at 1g of acceleration. They would take a tiny bit longer with a zero degree launch angle, given aerodynamic drag.

To land 200 feet away from the end of the runway, 85 feet down, they'd have to be going just about 60 miles per hour when they took off.

I know the car looks a lot worse then a strike at 60 mph, but don't forget it would begin accelerating (downward) as soon as it was airborne, gaining speed (and energy) from gravity.

The car will pick up the energy it gains from the 85 foot fall. In the fall the car and passengers will pick up an additional half a million joules of energy (2000 kg x 9.8 m/s/s x 25.9 m)

Launching at 60mph, the car would have hit the tree at just about 74-76 miles per hour. I computed this using an energy calculation (required velocity for original kinetic energy plus gravitation potential energy), and double checked my math doing a vector sum (~60 mph horizontal component of vector and ~44 mph vertical component) which kicks out around the same amount. (Lots of rounding.)

One more bit on the braking model of car and driver versus bus driver and passengers. Again, assuming brakes that don't fade, stopping exactly at the edge of the runway, hitting the brakes at exactly the same place and braking distance limited by the brakes ability to dissipate heat and not limited by traction, boiling brake fluid, bad aerodynamics or the like, here's some more napkin math.

Driver makes 140 mile solo run and stops fine braking at point x.

Driver loads car up with 600 pounds of friends (I've fattened them up to 150 pounds per American weight.) but this time gets up to 143 miles per hour showing off, brakes at same point x. That's all it would take to sail off edge at around 60 mph.

The killer is kinetic energy. Braking energy grows with the square of velocity, and braking distance is bounded on the bottom by the same function.

What I mean by that is that this is all a best case scenario.

Reality, as shown in this tragedy, is often a lot worse.

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http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3926316 http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3926316 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:25:15 EST
comedian commented on Flying BMW Crashes and Kills Occupants, Darwin Wins Assumes that they hit just above ground level.

Flight time varies a bit shorter if they hit ground then skidded/rolled into trunk, a tiny bit longer if they hit far above ground and then fell down.

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http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3923975 http://jalopnik.com/349540/flying-bmw-crashes-and-kills-occupants-darwin-wins#c3923975 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:07:17 EST