Stealing someone else’s quote is never cool. It’s not original, it’s not smart, and it pisses a lot of people off. But if you get caught doing it in the vaunted, professorial ivory tower known as the realm of Internet comments, you might as well go out with a bang and be the biggest jerk in the world.

Reader fritzo was admiring the beauty and splendor that is the jet ski, and duly noted that everyone who can afford one seems pretty damn happy whenever they’re on it:

An astute observation if there ever was one, from fritzo. Except there wasn’t one from fritzo, because this was actually a paraphrase of a quote from comedian Daniel Tosh. And the immune system that keeps this poor little website chugging – the other commenters – immediately leapt down fritzo’s throat for it. There were even accusations of Tosh stealing the comment himself from dearly departed comedian Bill Hicks.

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Undeterred, undefeated, and unbroken, fritzo fought back the only way any Internet commenter knows how. Like a wounded tiger hopped on a whole bunch of stimulants, and with the ferocity, sarcasm, and nihilism that only the greats contain:

Amazing, fritzo. For your complete absurdity and disregard for decorum in the face of overwhelming truth, you are today’s winner of Comment of the Day. Never change, for your original comments are actually even better than your unoriginal ones.

Enjoy some yacht rock, on us, this fine late Summer’s eve.

Photo credit: Michael McCarthy


Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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