What is the one Jason Torchinsky story that has been mysteriously spiked by four editors? I can never say. All I can say is if we ran it we’d all get fired, and not in a heroic way.

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But that didn’t stop you from putting on your tin foil racing helmets and coming up with some theories. Like this one, from TekamulBurner:

You are wrong. It is not that. But congrats on your COTD win.