Only Jalopnik, powered by the mind of Jason Torchinsky, is brave enough to bring the world the torque measurement system it truly deserves: one based on the brutal act of nipple-twisting.

Don’t thank us. We didn’t ask to be heroes.

But don’t think it stops there. Reader Diesel takes things a step even further:

Future crash safety ratings will be measured in hurts-donuts.

I’d give that comment Five Stars if I could!


Contact the author at patrick@jalopnik.com.