http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png http://jalopnik.com/tag/children http://jalopnik.com/tag/children If your little brother loses a tooth, what's in it for you? The little dope gets sweet Tooth Fairy scratch and you're left holding the bag. Unless you decide to play dentist with a long string and a mini-motorcycle. More »
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Through the magic of technology, the 1986 Chrysler New Yorker could to talk to its driver. Similarly, the Speak & Spell children's learning toy could school you with a mechanized voice. This is what happens when you put them together. More »
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Our experience with the ad-hoc Adventures in Branding series have been so positive that we've decided to rebrand the whole idea. Henceforth, "Auto Branding Adventures." Look for it, and away we go. Unless you're a kid whose father is a pretentious Ferrari owner, there's no reason to own a toy like this one. Ferrari has decided to go really, really green with this Ferrari pedal car by ditching gasoline and the motor entirely for good old fashion human power. Obviously, Ferrari cut no corners during production. More »
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You can't swing an Aunt Anne's pretzel in a mall these days without hitting a Build-a-Bear workshop. If you've ever happened past on a Saturday morning, you know to sidestep the flailing elbows of tiny female urchins hopped up on marzipan and diet coke. But until now, their brothers (and fathers) could only look on as the plush debauchery unfolded. But a new form of product-based entertainment is set to draw in current and future car nuts (or nutz) of the male persuasion. It's called Ridemakerz, and it takes the BaB concept (it's part-owned by the Build-a-Bear people) into the realm of custom cars. Kids can pick out a chassis, body style and accessories (z) from which to build their custom job, which can be fitted with remote-control capabilities. The store even has a de rigeur alliance with Chip Foose. The first store is opening this week in Myrtle Beach, SC and there's another one destined for the Mall of America. Cool. Now watch those elbows. – Mike Spinelli More »
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Sure, they may have an untenable grasp on science lately... but Kansas is stepping back into the realm of logical governance with a bill aimed at fining parents who leave their young kids in the car unattended. Currently, officers in many states have only the options of either yelling at the parents for being morons or charging them with a serious offense like child endangerment. This bill provides a third option with a $25 fine for a first offense and a fine of between $250 and $500 for repeat offenders. The group behind this, Kids & Cars, wants to remind you that a car is not a babysitter... unless it's KITT or Herbie. They make great babysitters. – Matt Hardigree More »
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Common sense: you shouldn't smoke in the car with anyone who can't stand cigarette smoke. If you have children, you shouldn't smoke in the car when they're in it. That said, you shouldn't let a ten-year-old boy dictate whether you can smoke in the car or not unless the child happens to be in the car with you. Ten-year-old boys are notorious demagogues and need a slight amount of beating down to determine whether they shall remain demagogues or actually grow up to become normal humans. We chose the chain-smoking demagogue route, but young Justin Kvadas' petitioning the Connecticut legislature against smoking in cars containing kids below the age of 7 or under 60 pounds just smacks of asshat parenting and cloying yuckery. Geesh. – Davey G. Johnson More »
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After yesterday's ginormous $12.7 billion annual loss announcement (and the ensuing declaration of "Big Blue Oval Day" by the press) the Freep's Sarah Webster is all over FoMoCo's recent Bold Move(TM). The embattled Dearborn-based automaker's closing down seven day care centers in three states where Ford facilities are located. The centers are jointly operated by the automaker and the UAW and provide day care for nearly 900 pre-schoolers and infants. No word yet on whether the automaker and UAW's adult day-care centers Jobs Bank will be affected. – Ray Wert More »
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When we were but a small Jalop, our teacher got our 6th-grade class involved in a local paper's "Design-an-Ad" contest. We ended up with a local dairy, and somehow figured out a way to work a Countach into the ad. Because, you know, every dairy needs a Countach. But this is somewhat more hilarious. These poor children from around Biloxi, MS think that Honda Elements are aerodynamic, Murcielagos go 300mph, and that putting a "Camero" motor in a Viper would be a good idea. Then again, the Countach we drew in that ad was festooned with all of the strakes and crap. So maybe there's hope for them yet. – Davey G. Johnson More »
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Since today is Friday, and folks are looking to hit the road on a gorgeous summer day, here's something for all of your vacationers. So no, that's not the formula for determination of FoMoCo's sales or how much money DaimlerChrysler's spent on the "Dr Z" ad campaign. Rather, it's a formula created by the folks at Leapfrog, the interactive kiddie porn education software/hardware company. Devised by one of the company's well travelled management consultants, who's raising two sets of twins, the formula combines key travel factors, personal experience and expertise to equate the following: More »
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An enterprising five-year-old who got into an argument with his grandmother hopped into her Escalade and took off in search of his mother, driving while standing on the seat (it's unclear how he operated the pedals). After nearly running down a presumably less-monolithic vehicle, a motorist called the boy in to the fuzz, but an off-duty deputy managed to get the kid to stop before they arrived on the scene. Ah, Ypsilanti. First you give us Iggy Pop, and now you give us child-behind-the-wheel gold. Hold out your hand — you're gettin' a happy-face stamp. More »
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So what if a second grader can't buy a car — Toyota can still market to them! They've inked a deal with Whyville.net to market their entry-level Scion brand, one of the web's newest pedophilia peddler kiddie porn children's online interactive communities. The site's tweeny-bopper 8- to 15-year-old demographic may seem a bit young for this type of marketing, especially considering they can't drive. Toyota thinks they're just perfect for them — they can build brand loyalty for later in life and they can influence their parents buying habits. Here's the stats on the marketing deal as of one week into the campaign: More »
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