Dear Jalopnik,

I went to the local scrap yard the other day to look for parts to restore my 1977 Daihatsu F20, and I found these amazing autos just lying there unappreciated!

I had to send send you the pics, the cars are truly spectacular!

Regards,

Rashid Al-Mohannadi,
Long time reader, first time contributor

Very cool Rashid, and thanks for the images. We spy an Audi 80, a Hummer H1, a tragically burnt Bentley with a mechanically intact engine begging for a new home and other goodies. Both the doorless, lifted Cadillac DeVille and that high-rise intake wearing Camaro are just begging for some serious desert hoonery.

The Land Rover is the supercharged model with custom rims and some aftermarket trim added, big threatening speakers in the trunk, and paint as Alaska White as the WWE fanbase. We can only assume it's for sale because it turned on him in a surprising act of sudden treachery!

The Continental Speed GT has had some mild chip-and-exhaust work, a grille kit, and custom wheels, but is mostly stock. Like Batista, it probably needs belts, but we assume it face-heel turns on a dime.

[eBay via Celeb Cars Blog]

Paddy Hopkirk's "33EJB" Cooper S

Five years after its introduction, the Mini was already somewhat of a hit. In 1964 Paddy Hopkirk made it into a sensation when he won the Monte Carlo Rally. Hopkirk and navigator Henry Liddon beat a factory team of eight fire-breathing V-8 Ford Falcons headed by Graham Hill with a combination of good recon, excellent Mini handling, and the skills Hopkirk learned on the cobbles of his native Belfast (and some help from the handicap rules, but that's hardly important or particularly romantic). Suddenly Hopkirk was the kind of celebrity that couldn't get arrested in London, certainly a rarity for an Irishman in the Sixties, and the Mini was a performance icon, certainly something no one expected from a car Alec Issigonis designed to compete with German bubble-cars. Minis won the rally three more times until 1967, forever cementing their reputation as giant-killers.

Photo: BMW Group

Mini-Moke

"Moke" means "Donkey," and there's perhaps no better automotive equivalent of Eeyore than the Moke, which like the cartoon donkey, seems terribly unsuited for its intended role—this was going to be a military vehicle?— but also like its namesake it endures, despite everything. It's a lot, well, cuter than Eeyore, it must be said, and because it's so popular as a light-duty beach buggy, it spends a lot less time being bedraggled in the rain. Our advice to the folks using the Mini name now: Drop this silly new coupe stuff and give us one of these, changing as little as possible.

Photo: Getty Images

Mini Countryman Woody

Simply put, it's a Mini estate car with wood framing. Mechanically, it's nothing unusual, nor is it particularly remarkable from a woodworking standpoint. But the net effect is comfortable, rustic, and makes one want to go get a tweed gamekeeper's coat and wingshoot some grouse. You know we like it if we chose it over the Coutryman pickup or "Minimino." Recent reports say the Countryman name, if not the wood frame, will be brought back soon, which we consider something of a job half-done.

Photo: Wikipedia

Mark VII Mini

The last of the first, Rover's 1996 to 2000 edition of the Mini was still recognizably a Mini; it had gained a little weight, though not much, gained a little comfort, though not a lot, and gained a modest degree of power, although it never had much. The idea of a Mini with an airbag and some sound insulation seems almost wrong, but the Mark 7s are still highly desirable as the last "real" Mini.

Photo: Wikipedia

John Cooper Works New MINI

The "New MINI" is not without its problems, but it's still a blast to drive. The first-gen John Cooper Works GP MINIs are easily the biggest blast, especially because they offered a lot of supercharged, backseatless speed in a fairly affordable package. If you were lucky enough to get one of the couple thousand made, it's gained value for you, although if you were persistent enough to get one you shouldn't really care about that.

So all in all a good fifty years for the Mini. Let's hope cooler heads prevail at BMW, or whichever company eventually winds up with the name so we can look back on these five decades as merely a good start.

The Triumph Mayflower ad, for a car James May condemns as the Ugliest Vehicle Ever Made, is especially puzzling. Did Triumph think that associating their products with some hookwormy clod pounding on a wagon wheel was a good idea?

Thanks to Buick, they had the V8, and the British Leyland designers took a long enough break from throwing gasoline bombs on the picket lines to produce this outstanding triple-scoop setup. The center scoop feed the air cleaner, while the two outer scoops are somehow hooked into the car's ventilation system- hey, there's no way that setup could have any problems, right? We don't care, because we say these scoops look great, even compared to Detroit's best scoops from the Golden Age Of The Musclecar.

Naturally, we'll be continuing this series, so feel free to suggest your favorite hood scoops. How about the NACA vents on the Lamborghini Espada? The twin nostrils of the '68 Pontiac GTO? The Ford Thunderbolt? Or perhaps some of the new generation of retro'd-out Detroit scoops?
Image source: BritishV8

If you prefer being a nitpicker to being merely observant, you might then point out that the British Leyland name existed only from 1968 to 1986, and thus several of these ads fall outside those boundaries as well. But here at Jalopnik, we defy categorization of obscure European machinery!

When you're done here, you might check out our favorite VW ads, then go right on with the Datsun, Toyota, Mustang, Renault, General Motors, and Chevrolet ads.

1972 Triumph TR6 (USA)	1981 Austin Rover (UK)	1966 Austin Mini (Australia)
1975 Triumph Spitfire (USA)	1970 Hillman Hunter (Australia)	1975 Triumph, MG (USA)
1980 Austin Metro (UK)	1977 Leyland Princess (Germany)	1976 Triumph TR7 (USA)
1973 Triumph (UK)	1976 Leyland Princess (UK)	1974 Triumph Spitfire (USA)
1981 Triumph Acclaim (UK)	2003 MG ZR (Spain)	1977 British Leyland (UK)	1970 Simca 1000 (Spain)

"It's quite extraordinary. The obvious explanation is that it seems to be some sort of cloud formation that just happened at the time," said Gary Sloggett, the car's former owner. Gary was taking pictures of his Rover 200 so he could place it for sale. When he pulled the images up on his computer, he saw Jacko.

"When I saw the picture I immediately turned to my wife and said: 'What is Michael Jackson doing on my car bonnet?' If you look at the picture for long enough it even looks as if he has got wings. I'm not saying I've been touched by any sort of presence, but it is pretty unusual. I was a bit bemused to say the least." Gary eventually sold the car for $1,070. [via The Telegraph]

Being a city boy, I'm no expert on the subject of vehicles made to slog through mud and/or help game wardens catch poachers (or at least look like they can do those things), and damn if I can come up with a decent ID on this out-of-town visitor. Clearly, it's had the crap modified out of it; the one-piece windshield suggests that it's a proto-Defender Land Rover 90, but it appears to have all manner of Series III pieces as well. Now's your time to shine, Land Rover experts! What do we have here?

Check out the selection of adventurer hats in the back!

The unnamed owner parked his Rover on a public street in front of Lookers Land Rover dealer in Colchester, England with his list of gripes and an advisement to avoid these cars should you want trouble free motoring. Since the vehicle is on a public road there's nothing the dealer can do. They have made a good will offer to help the owner into a new vehicle, but something tells us this guy won't be interested in another Rover any time soon. [Daily Mail]

Was the '78 the best Mini built during the first couple of decades of production? Raymond Baxter claims that's the case in this British Leyland dealer-training video, with the "fashionable matte black grille" and backup lights as standard equipment, to name just two improvements. Of course, others had ripped off the Mini's innovative front-drive/transverse-engine design by then, but Baxter shows that the Fiesta and Renault 5 just couldn't compete.

This aluminum V8 started life as a Buick in 1961, was shared with Pontiac and Oldsmobile (where it benefited from Turbo Rocket Fluid), then crossed the Atlantic and was installed in the MGB-GT V8, the Triumph TR8, and countless Land Rovers. Along the way, it powered Mickey Thompson's Dan Gurney-driven 1962 Indianapolis 500 car and (in Repco-modified SOHC form) drove Brabhams to Formula One victory in 1966 and 1967. GM discontinued the aluminum engine after the 1963 model year (due to various production headaches surrounding the aluminum casting process, hassles with aluminum-corroding antifreezes, and the suspicions of patriotic Americans who felt that a V8 with just 215 cubes must be some sort of subversive Red plot), but Rover kept it going all the way until 2006. The British V8 article on this engine is quite entertaining; it's a reprint of a 1976 Autocar article, with editorial responses to the virulent Anti-American sentiments of the original writer.
[British V8, Wikipedia]

And that Escort is just one of many great British race cars that VR photographed at last summer's B.C. Historics. Lotus, Sunbeam, Austin-Healey, and MG are all represented, and we get a couple of race Volvos as an added bonus! I've been falling behind on my duty to share VR's great racing photographs, so expect more of this sort of thing in the near future.

AutoCar sat down with Land Rover boss, Phil Popham, who told the Euro buff book:

"Our research of the LRX proved that if we can deliver the intent of the concept it has got all the hallmarks of a Range Rover."

Popham says the production LRX will be close to the concept's design, but will receive the Range Rover name. This also means that it's likely that it will be a five-door model rather than the concepts cool 3-door sport styling and will carry a taller roof line.

It's expected that this new, smaller Range Rover will share its chassis with the current Land Rover Freelander and will share similar powertrain options. Land Rover is also reporting that it will be the 'greenest' Land Rover to date, with a hybrid model expected. We'll believe it when we see it. Orders are expected to begin next year for the new model.

Land Rover Press Release:

LAND ROVER CONFIRMS GRANT OFFER TO BUILD NEW MODEL

Gaydon, Warwickshire, 11 March 2009

The UK Government has confirmed a grant offer of up to £27 million is to be made available to Land Rover for the production of an all-new car. The company is due to make a final decision on the the go-ahead of the project at its award-winning plant in Halewood, on Merseyside, later this year.

The car would be based on Land Rover's acclaimed LRX Concept vehicle, first shown at the Detroit Show last year, and would be the smallest, lightest and most efficient it has ever produced.

"We welcome the Government's support for this project, which would form a key part of our future product plans and which we very much want to put into production," said Phil Popham, Managing Director of Land Rover.

The grant offer will be made available under the Government's Grant for Business Investment scheme and is an important contribution towards the overall £400 million cost of the project. This is separate from the broader automotive support package currently being unveiled by the Government.

Although it still has to go through a number of approval gateways in the product development process before getting the final go-ahead, Land Rover has also confirmed that the new car would be a key addition to the Range Rover family of luxury vehicles.

Phil Popham said, "Our engineering feasibility study has shown that we can very successfully deliver Range Rover levels of quality, drivability and breadth of performance in a more compact, more sustainable, package. Feedback from the most extensive customer research we have ever undertaken also fully supports our belief that a production version of the LRX Concept would further raise the desirability of our brand and absolutely meet all those expectations.

"It would be the smallest, lightest and most efficient Range Rover that we've ever built," Phil added. "The compact size, lighter weight and sustainability-focused technologies of the LRX Concept showed how Land Rover is planning to respond to the needs of a changing world. Despite the current economic challenges, we remain committed to investing for the future, to continue to deliver relevant vehicles for our customers, with the outstanding breadth of capability for which we are world-renowned."

The new Range Rover would embrace excellent levels of refinement and all-round capability and also introduce new powertrain options, providing a major step forward in enabling the implementation of Land Rover's e-terrain technologies strategy and achievement of its goal to exceed a 20 per cent improvement in CO2 emissions.

"Both the design and size of the LRX Concept have generated a hugely positive reaction wherever it has been seen and we've also gathered fresh insights on what potential owners would look for in a production equivalent. That knowledge is now being applied to the process of refining the vehicle as it heads towards final approval," said Phil.

The Halewood facility employs 2000 people and is a recipient of the J.D. Power Gold Standard. It currently produces the Land Rover Freelander 2 and Jaguar X-TYPE.

[via AutoCar]

I'm not sure I'd choose the hood ornament on this early-60s Rover over the custom-made one on the DOTS 1953 Citroën Traction-Avant 11 Légère, but it's a tough call. A bearded warrior sporting a winged helmet, on the nose of a car bearing the name of a dog? Of course! Here's what VR has to say:

Not a particularly rare car - they built a little over 16,000 over its run. I found this one in the parking lot of the hotel we were staying at the weekend of the Columbia River Classic Vintage race and All British Field Meet. The three hotels all side by side across from Portland International raceway were full of British cars. This one caught my eye because of the hood ornament - I think it's one of the coolest ones I've seen. And I've got a nice series of pictures on the 1950 Jag MkV 3.5 litre it's parked next to as well.

The 105S was made from 1956 through 1959, and this one proves that a left-hand-drive version was built. Kip shot this car, plus the Beetle in Gulf Oil colors, in downtown San Francisco. And that wraps up our DOTS-O-Rama Sunday!

While we were doting over the monstrous new presidential limo dubbed "The Beast," NASA was busy rolling out it's latest wheeled creation at the end of the inaugural parade. We've seen the new buggy before, but this is the first time we've seen the new design out on public roads.

The rover, dubbed the Lunar Electric Rover, or LER for the acronym-obsessed NASA, is intended for use in the planned moon mission which at this point may be in political and financial jeopardy. In any case, the new rover is awash in new thinking and brings the moon buggy concept into the modern age. This new machine is based around a pack of high power lithium ion batteries intended to provide power for all functions on board. The articulated design allows for double the battery capacity and the always reassuring system redundancy NASA builds into everything. Underneath are twelve tweels on six individual electric motors, able to rotate 360 degrees and provide extreme maneuverability in all situations. The buggy is even equipped for extravehicular control so astronauts can move it around while on moon walks.


On top of the platform is a pressurized module built to ferry two astronauts in comfort, providing a pressurized work environment while leaving the extravehicular moon suits outside. The design is intended to drastically reduce suit-up time and minimize overall gas losses during transfer while allowing the life support systems on the suits to act as backups in case of emergency.

At the side is an air lock porthole designed to mate up with other modules like on surface habitats or ascent vehicles. The craft is rounded out with a mission specific work package interface which allows the LER to be outfitted with winches, backhoes, cables and cranes, whatever is needed for the task at hand. Should we ever make another moonshot, we can't wait to see astronauts hooning this baby around the lunar surface, just like the good old days. [Youtube, NASA]

I admit it- after finding the '60 Peugeot 403 near my house, I've been searching for a French car project to call my own (this in spite of having been the owner of a sadistically unreliable Peugeot 504 in the past). Thing is, the old Peugeots have something of a power deficit, and it just seems wrong to take the easy way out by doing a Japanese drivetrain transplant. Then Vintage Racer found this genuine Offenhauser turbo engine. Now we're talking! The Offy is a torque monster of a four-banger, with pistons the size of gallon paint cans and a racing history nothing else can touch, and it would be just the powerplant for this '68 Peugeot 404 sedan... which is priced at approximately 1/25th the price of the engine. This 404 gets PCH points for the classic statement "Ran when parked" and the inclusion of a parts car in the deal. You'll need to deal with the transmission and rear end issue, of course, and we suspect the Pug's frame might not really be up to Offy-style twistage... but imagine the looks of awe you'll get as you cruise your town's main drag with the sound of a 30s Indy racer bellowing from your little French sedan.

Did I mention that the engine here was "Overhauled many years ago, not run since?" No? Hey, when you get the impossible-to-find vintage turbo intake and exhaust components as part of the $21,500 deal, you can't complain- you'll sort it out! And you'll definitely be motivated to do so every time you look in your garage... because you'll see that amazing engine sitting on the concrete right next to this '65 Rover 2000 sedan. We don't know how much the seller wants for it, but it's a safe assumption that he or she hasn't exactly been overwhelmed by offers so far, in spite of the fact that it's "all origional, paint is ever pritty good." You can sell the engine (which the seller claims has "less than 8000miles on it since rebuild") to defray, oh, 0.03% of the cost of the Offy, and recline in that fine, fine Rover seat and dream of the day when you own the only Offenhauser-powered Rover sedan in your time zone.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Lanchester
This one is easy. Based in Birmingham, England, the Lanchester Motor Company made cars from the late 19th century until 1930 when it merged with Daimler.

Daimler
This one is somewhat more confusing. There's Daimler and Daimler. Daimler of Germany is formerly Daimler-Benz, DaimlerChrysler and now Daimler AG. This isn't to be confused with Daimler of Britain, which made cars using Gottlieb Daimler's engines. That company traded hands to the British Small Arms Company, then to Jaguar and then to Ford through PAG. The last Daimler made was the Jag XJ-rebadged Daimler Super Eight. With the purchase of Jaguar and Land Rover, Tata inherits British Daimler.

Rover
Chinese Automaker Shanghai Auto (SAIC) merged with Nanjing Auto, which purchased the struggling Rover brand and all its assets. Well, not quite all of its assets. BMW had the Rover brand years ago and never parted with the name. Unwilling to sell it to the Chinese, who were forced to call their cars Roewe, the company sold it to Ford, a better steward and a company that didn't want Rovers out there being confused with Land Rovers. But now, with this deal, that name gets transferred to Tata.

This means that, in theory, we can have Indian built Nanos rebadged as Daimlers or Rovers while actual MG/Rover products are being built in China under the name Roewe. If we were Tata, we'd consider selling the Rover brand to SAIC.

[Auto News Europe via AutoBlog]

To tell the story of the Defender, you must tell the story of the Land Rover Series vehicles. Conceived during and after World War II, at a time when steel and other materials were strictly rationed in the war and rebuilding effort, the Land Rover was a crude but essential machine. Its original inspiration was the military Jeep, but it was reborn as something of a do-it-all — a vehicle which could be used in the bombed out countryside, provide agricultural power by way of its front and rear power take offs, carry the family and haul heavy loads. It was constructed of plentiful aircraft aluminum in a specially alloyed mix and designed to be assembled entirely with hand tools, if necessary. It remains so today.

As the years progressed, the Land Rover series vehicles saw steady improvements to the powertrain, suspension, transfer cases and ergonomics, but they remained true to their root mission: They were basic, blissfully basic. This simplicity gave rise to a devoted following. In fact, a maniacal following. Ease of maintenance, interchangeable parts spanning up to four decades, legendary durability—it all fueled desire and fed demand.

And that leads us to 1983. With the Series III getting long in the tooth, Land Rover updated the vehicle with several important improvements. The suspension was upgraded with a more modern coil-spring design, the two piece windshield was swapped out for a single pane, crank side windows replaced sliders, and a new set of more powerful, but still incredibly durable, engines were dropped under the hood. The interior was updated to provide creature comforts that brought the truck out of the stone age (the austere old guard harumphed, but those with battered buttcheeks rejoiced). The true brilliance of the Defender, however, shone through in its flexibility. Available in three different wheelbases, each designed and equipped for different duties. The 90 was the two-door model and featured a 93" wheelbase; it was targeted at civilian and agricultural use. The 110 was the four-door wagon with room for up to nine, due to the side-mounted seats (which hung around until the 2007 refresh). The 127, which was later renamed the 130, was designed for heavy applications, outfitted with the largest engine, a four-door cab and a short pickup box. The 127 quickly became the vehicle of choice for militaries all over the world.

Enough history, let's get down to brass tacks. The Land Rover Defender represents all that is good and pure in the motoring world. It is form following function to the truest of standards. By all accounts—and if you've ever driven in one you'll agree—the Defender is not a vehicle to be taken lightly. Not for the meek, it's a brutal on the road, requiring heroic steering input, delivering frightening understeer and body roll that rivals the worst of the 1940s, and serving up wind and road noise that can charitably described as deafening. But that same terrible on-road truck is a master of it's domain when the road ends, at low speed and hundreds of miles from the beaten path. Here, in the muck and mire, Defender is a champion. And that's the point. This is a vehicle with a singular purpose: To get you to where you're going, no matter where that might be.

A vehicle that serves its purpose without excuses, indifferent to modern tastes, a monument to all the explorers who blazed their own trail across uncharted vistas in bygone days. The Land Rover Defender speaks to our lizard brain in ways which make us want to damn this digital existence and get lost in a wilderness, reconnecting with the curiosities that make life interesting. It is not a polished and perfect, technology-toting wunderkind, and that's why we love it. The Defender reminds us of the reason why men strike out on their own, in defiance of rationality, to find their own way, and that's why we want it in our fantasy garage.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

The Jalopnik Fantasy Garage:
1925 Rolls-Royce Phantom 1 Jonckheere Coupe | Porsche 959 | 1978 Aston Martin V8 Vantage | Honda 1300 Coupe 9 | 1931 Daimler Double Six 50 Corsica Drophead Coupe | Ferrari 288 GTO | Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1 | 1970 Buick GSX 455 | First Generation BMW M Coupe | Bugatti Veyron 16.4 | Ford GT | Citroen SM | Porsche 928 | Jensen FF | DeTomaso Vallelunga | Audi Quattro S1 | Buick GNX | Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R | Honorary Fantasy Garager: The LS1 Powered Rotus | Lamborghini LM002 | Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe | Ferrari 250 GTO | Bentley Speed Six | Talbot-Lago T150C SS Figoni et Falaschi Raindrop/Teardrop Coupe | Porsche 917 | Audi RS4 Avant | Lamborghini Miura | Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 | BMW E39 M5 | Jaguar E-type | Mercedes-Benz 300 SL | Dodge Charger/Challenger R/T | Toyota 2000GT | Facel Vega HK500 | Voisin C28 Aerosport | Bugatti Type 41 Royale | McLaren F1 | Maserati Bora | Continental MK II | Tucker 48 | Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato | BMW 507

We could argue for days about whether Britain, France, or Italy deserves the title of Hell Project Homeland, but there's no arguing with the fact that the Rover SD1 might offer one of the best possible combinations of abysmal Anglo-Malaise build quality and inherent what-the-hell-is-that? coolness you're going to find in North America (and I'm sure they're getting hard to find in Blighty these days, too, what with the rust and all). It's big, it's got a V8, and you can have this 1980 SD1 for cheap! There's no reserve price, and the starting bid is just $1,500. The seller wants you to know this: "By the way, the opening bid is about half what I have in this car not counting my labour, so it is a steal at that price." See? It's a steal! Just like Britain needed some work when Maggie took office, so it is with this Rover; the seller says "I sense it could use some suspension work," which is probably another way of saying "I sense the steering wheel getting ripped out of my hands when the car experiences road crown." Then there's some minor fuel leakage- only when the tank is more than half full, or when the engine is running, or not running. But just picture yourself driving this SD1, with everything working and looking good... and a centrifugal supercharger on that Buick/Rover V8!

The last time we saw a PCH Silver Shadow, it was (just barely) beating a Matra Bagheera. But that wasn't quite fair; even the insanity of the three-seater Bagheera would have a tough time stacking up against a Rolls. That's why we're going with this '79 Silver Shadow today, so that the Rolls can go up against something a bit more upscale and a lot more British. Can ya believe it? Just $500 current bid price! We'll readily admit that this one needs some work, but the seller reassures us with such statements as "The engine isnt in the bay but it comes with the auction" and "from what i see there arent any tears in the leather". All this baby needs is a little elbow grease and a few bits and pieces and your neighbors will be as envious as the Argentinian Navy contemplating a nuclear submarine! Thanks (and a half-credit towards a Project Car Hell Tipster T-Shirt) to Brian for sending this one in.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Let's face it, Rover's cars never sold well in the United States (for reasons we really don't need to explain here), so when it came time to sell the Rover 800 over here, the marketing suits at British Leyland figured they'd just call it something else. And so it was that the Sterling was born; with Honda V6 power and British good looks, it looked like a can't-possibly-miss; no oil leakage, no clattery tractor-engine sounds, no dullsville Japanese-sedan styling. Yes, the Sterling was quite a car, and this 1989 Sterling 827 SL, available for the farthingly low asking price of a cool grand, could soon be gracing your garage. Now, don't be intimidated by the British electrical system; after all, the reliability of the Honda running gear is so profound that it emits a force field of Japanese quality that actually prevents problems in unrelated systems! Would we make this stuff up? And that bad talk going around town about poor build quality and corrosion? Hogwash! Though the description on this car is a bit sparse...

Was there ever an Isuzu that was cool enough to be a Project Car Hell car? Most emphatically, yes! The Impulse with the "Handling By Lotus" option is such a car. This '89 Impulse has rear-wheel-drive, Giorgetto Giugiaro styling, and the aforementioned suspension tuning done by none other than the road-gripping gurus at Lotus. It's got the Chex wheels, a somewhat new clutch (though you might consider asking to see the receipt), and... we're not sure what else. Sure, Isuzu never really measured up to the quality standards of Honda, Nissan, and Toyota, but it can't be that bad. Can it?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

The point of this poll is to vote for the project you think would be the most torture, but also the most rewarding. Each car will score quite high on the Cool Ride-O-Meter, each will be cheap, and each will be ungodly painful to fix up. Soooo... today we have:

This wonderful 1965 Rover 2000, for the three-figure asking price of just $999! It's pretty much all there and the photo quality gets an A++ grade by Craigslist standards, but those darned brakes just don't work (so you can't test drive it). A big plus is that the owner actually got a non-op registration on it, so no back registration payments. Plus, let's face it, Rover saloons are cool. The big minus? Better book your next flight to the UK if you want parts!

But hey, you're not some warm-beer-drinkin', Dresden-bombin', Irish-oppressin' Brit, are you? Hail no! That's why you probably need to be the proud owner of this super-patriotic '64 Chevy Biscayne Hearse! You'd be able to get that whole "rollin' in my six-four" Impala style thing going on, while laughing at all those other guys driving dime-a-dozen Caddy hearses. For you, my friend, a mere $700. Sure, the 283 is froze (sic), but the ghosts of past passengers would haunt you unless you got 409 power, anyway.

So what's it gonna be? The somewhat-intact parts-nightmare Rover? Or the basket-case Chevy hearse?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

We're not quite sure why MG's adsters figured a Ram Jam soundtrack belongs in a Spanish-market ad for the early-00s MG ZR, but the message is clear: If you see some attractive laydeez, stand on the gas and the car will lift up their skirts (no doubt due to the incredible "suck factor" of the ZR lowering air pressure in the vicinity). And they'll like it! Of course, when you entice said laydeez into your MG for some gazpacho-flavoured action back at your groovy casa, you'll find that the Curse of Joe Lucas has garbooned the starter, fuel-injection system and- hell, everything- and you'll be left alone with a dead car. – Murilee Martin

MG ZR [Wikipedia]

Related:
Jodie Foster Gets Clothing Torn Off By Fifth-Gen Honda Civic [internal]

The last time the Quandt family's minions from München went on a purchasing spree, well, it didn't work out so well. And apparently with Mini sales down and development costs out, BMW looked into buying Volvo from Ford, to whom, of course, they'd sold Land Rover after their Rover Group finanical debacle. The idea would have eventually moved larger Volvos onto BMW-drived RWD and AWD platforms, while the Mini's architecture would have been used for the smaller models. Would it have worked? Would FoMoCo have parted with the brand? Will BMW buy another marque? Will Gordon Shumway ever play bouillabaisseballl again? Stay tuned. – Davey G. Johnson

BMW: We'd like to buy Volvo [Autocar]

Related:
A Billion Bucks Missing at Rover [Internal]

If buying Rover in all but name (thanks to those crafty bastiches in M nchen-Stadt) and slapping a weird melange of 300C and Audi schnoz on the front gives one mad Brit cred, SAIC may as well change its name to Pete Townshend, Carnaby Street or the Earl of March. The Roewe booth at the Shanghai show had the models all dolled up in riding gear, standing prim, proper and vaguely Stepford-esque. To be fair, the Roewes were likely the most well-realized seeming of the Chinese automakers' non-joint-venture products, and they do look a helluva lot better than Rovers past. That said, we'll wait for the JD Power numbers on these puppies. (Insert Five Deadly Venoms fighting the ghost of Joe Lucas joke here. Thanks.) – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
Red Rover: New Roewe [Internal]

As the narrator of this Pathe newsreel tells it, the 1967 models were to be The Big Drive for the British auto manufacturing industry, because "exports must increase if the country is to pay its way." We see such hot-selling British success stories as the Singer Chamois Sport and the Hillman Hunter (which features booth babes dressed in fox-hunting gear), plus a nice assortment of non-British stuff. How about a '67 Ferrari 365P, with that bizarre 3-seater setup? Or a Saab Sonnet? Too bad about the country not paying its way, of course, but some nice cars nonetheless. – Murilee Martin

Related:
British Steel: The 1962 London Motor Show [internal]

Back in 1962, when it seemed the sun would never set on the British auto industry, the new '63 models were proudly displayed at the Earl's Court London Motor Show. All the usual suspects are here in this newsreel, from the Hillman Super Minx to the Lotus Elan, with plenty of science-fair-style cutaway vehicles showing their innards and car-show babes galore. – Murilee Martin

Related:
Lotus's Master Plan: Three New Models in Five Years [internal]

What's Nanjing's plan to revive MG-Rover? According to an online brochure, it may entail a new version of the erstwhile Rover RDX60 crossover concept. It may also entail one of the scariest looking designs (above) since the sand worms in "Dune." Anyone have a cure for goosebumps? Oh yeah, looking at old British roadsters should do the trick. – Mike Spinelli

[Nanjing MG Online (Flash req.) via MotorAuthority]

Related:
Return of Morris! Longbridge to Resume Building MG-TF; Cecil Kimber Just Pulled a 720 in His Grave: MG's New Backronym; The Lost Rover: Project RDX60 Uncovered [internal]

Who knew the things you could do with a Rover 3.5-liter V8 engine when you've got it sitting in your living room? With a displacement of 3528 cc, there's all sorts of enough room for wine bottles, or you can use it as a coffee table, or even a coffee table holding wine bottles (we here tend to have alcohol on the brain, in hand, and down gullet, at all times). In fact, because this engine appeared not only in Rover cars, but was widely sold by Rover to small car builders — becoming the virtual de-facto standard British engine for hot rod use (much as has the Chevrolet small-block V8 for American builders) — there's a lot of them around. So grab a burbler that's quite burbling and be like these enterprising young urban autonistas, turning your love of the automobile into a love of furniture. Gallery of tables below. – Ray Wert

Another V8 table [Make]

Related:
Famous Rover V8 Engine Saved [internal]

Meanwhile, back at the former Rover plant in Longbridge, which had been idle since the former company's meltdown last year, Car magazine has uncovered the project formerly known as RDX60, a five-seat hatchback that would have squared off against the Euro Ford Focus and VW Golf. The once top-secret project is now just another artifact of the venerable, once non-Chinese British brand. It was based on the Rover 75 platform, but its not clear if the new owners of the company's intellectual property rights to that architecture plan to add the model to its Rowe line. What do you think? – Mike Spinelli

Secret Rover car uncovered [Car]

Related:
Sneaking into Defunct UK Factories, Volume One: Longbridge, Birmingham [internal]

Shanghai Auto, the Chinese automaker that's refashioning the Rover 75 as the Roewe 750, says it's building a version that uses an "integrated loop" to garner a 20% increase in fuel efficiency. The boys at China Car Times say that's likely code for a hybrid system. But if our lack of an electrical engineering degree has taught us anything, its that an integrated loop could mean a variety of technologies at work, from some manner of digital controller to a box of animal crackers made into a bong. We'll just have to watch this one carefully. – Mike Spinelli

Rong Wei/Roe We Rover 750 - Its a Hybrid! [China Car Times]

Related:
Red Rover: New Roewe 750E; China's Hybrid Race: Chery to Show Hybrid at Beijing Show, Others to Follow? [internal]

China's Shanghai Auto released photos of its newly re-released Rover 75, which it's calling the Roewe 750E. Created for the increasingly status-conscious Chinese market, the Roewe features a 2.5-liter V6 and a plush, leather-filled interior of questionable build quality, according to the marketing imagery. [Gallery] – Mike Spinelli

Related:
Roewe, Roewe, Roewe, Your Rover in China