Jason Vines To Officially Take Over Marketing Efforts For The Chrysler Group?

The craziest man at the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid is rumored to be officially taking up the marketing efforts at the Chrysler Group. We've heard PR man Jason Vines has been unofficially running the show on the ad side of the business of selling the company and the company's vehicles since "Joltin'" Joe Eberhardt was moved out of the job of dealer ops after that whole "sales bank" thing. If you remember, that was the classification given to vehicles produced but which had nowhere to go but the train behind the Best Western Greenfield Inn of Allen Park, the State Fairgrounds, Metro Airport and every other piece of open ground Joltin' Joe's minions could find to stash them. So what would this mean? Well — it'd probably mean we'll be seeing ads coming directly from Vines' ADHD-afflicted mind. So, those of you who think "Pig & Bear" was weird — ha, your ass ain't seen nothing yet. Or this could just be a rumor. Who knows. – Ray Wert More »

That's What Friends Are For: A Jalopnik Farewell To Ex-Chrysler Marketing Man Joe Eberhardt

We reported earlier that Joe Eberhardt, the former exec veep of the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid, left Auburn Hills for the last time today. We're assuming it was with all the pomp and circumstance one would expect for an outgoing executive of his caliber. We wish we could have watched as the Tech Center rent-a-cops spared no expense in providing a truly executive send-off — and we're hopeful that the cardboard box he was given to hold all the trappings and awards the ex-exec veep accumulated over the years, was initially used to hold direct mail postcards. But in many ways, we're kind of like Joe — in that all we're now left with is our memories — the good times and the bad times. So to honor "Joltin" Joe, we've put together our favorite images of him over the years (off of an idea of autobloggin' John's we've totally expanded upon) in a gallery we'd like to call "That's What Friends Are For." Feel free to hit play on whichever version of the song makes you feel most up-lifted and read through our thoughts and messages from the time we've all spent with Joe as the Chrysler Group's sales have gone from hero to zero. – Ray Wert More »

Joltin' Joe Eberhardt Jumps Ship: Chrysler Marketing Man Moved To Mercedes

Joltin' Joe Eberhardt has left the building folks. Seriously — he's no longer at the Tech Center in Auburn Hills. The main marketing and sales man for the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid, according to a statement released today by the company:

"will be leaving the company in order to return to automotive retailing within the Mercedes-Benz network in the United States. The Senior Vice Presidents and Vice Presidents of Sales, Marketing, International and Service will report directly to LaSorda until further notice."

Although we're not saying we had anything to do with this obviously not-by-his own-choice move (because you know, who really goes "down and to the left" and leaves at the close of business of their own accord?) — because then you would be ignoring the part about how Eberhardt had a total performance-suck since taking over the job. But then again, if he hadn't blown total goat, we'd have had no reason to make fun of him — well, except for the weird accent. Full press release after the jump. – Ray Wert More »

Chrysler Group's Joltin' Joe Eberhardt Blames Jennifer Love Hewitt For The New Sebring Convertible

The cantankerous Joe "It's The Dealers Fault" Eberhardt already has a scapegoat primed and ready if sales numbers for the new Sebring convertible unveiled at the LA Auto Show don't quite meet with expectations, and scapegoat, thy name is Jennifer Love Hewitt. That's right, because according to Joltin' Joe's comments at the LA unveiling: More »

Dealer Dollars: Chrysler Gives Dealers Incentive, But Will They Give It To You?

The 'merican side of the German-American hybrid's already shown a penchant for descent down the slippery sales ladder of incentives without saying they're incentives. Hell, maybe they're just lying to themselves. Whether they're telling the truth or just truthiness, the Detroit News is reporting today the chieftains in the sales and marketing team run by Joe "Direct Mail" Eberhardt have instituted a plan where they're giving dealers anywhere from $2,500 (on the Dodge Charger and Chrysler 300) to $7,000 (on the Dodge Ram and Durango) for 2006 models. Why the need? Well, even though the kids in Auburn Hills have cut inventories from the highs of 647,000 vehicles in July to 499,000 reported yesterday for November, '06 models still account for 32% of current inventory. That's a lot of "old" model year cars and trucks to try to be shipping out the dealer doors n' lots. But, that means... More »

Chrylser, Chrysler, Pants On Fire!

Sales incentives are a risky game for US automakers these days — they help you to get rid of stock on the lots quickly, but they do it at the risk of cannibalizing profits, future sales and resale value of your products. And apparently, according to Joe "Would I Lie To You" Eberhardt's interview with Reuters earlier this week, the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid wasn't going to be providing any additional sales incentives for the month of December. So, if that's the case, then the "Premiere Event" postcard I got in the mail — the one that's pictured above and which the Freep's Katie Merx brings up in her article referenced in the morning shift — must be a figment of my imagination. It's the only way to explain why I'm offered an "additional $1000.00 bonus cash" off the price of a 2007 Dodge Caliber, Dodge Nitro SXT or a Dodge Ram Quad Cab. Because if that ain't an incentive program, I don't know what the hell it is. Oh but wait, there's more — after the initial article appeared online yesterday, Merx reported a Chrysler spokesman as saying when Eberhardt originally said no "new incentives" in December, he really meant that they wouldn't launch any innovative or new types of incentives. Oh yeah, well — it is a direct mail piece, right — we guess that's not new or innovative — but wait, we're not done yet, there's more... More »

Chrysler Wields The Heavy Hand Of The DMCA, Hits Self

Apparently the folks at the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid were pretty upset we liberated those "gag" commercials from the bureaucracy of Auburn Hills a while back. They've gone so far as to head on over to YouTube like a petulant child asking them "Mommy, make Jalopnik stop running leaks they get from the Tech Center!" and just like that YouTube's gone and slapped us with a little DMCA violation for the content — and poof, the funny little ads that have done more to help make the 'merican side look like a spunky li'l automaker willing to take chances than anything real they've done in years, they're gone. Why do we somehow think "Mean" Joe Eberhardt had something to do with this? Curse you Joe, curse you and your stuck-in-the-mud ways. Hey, but that's ok — someone else has gone and uploaded both vids for us. Thank you, whoever you are, JalopnikHeartsJoe! Full attempted censorship DMCA violation complaint after the jump. – Ray Wert More »

The Post Whereby We Welcome The Detroit News To The "Time To Go, Joe" Bandwagon

We've been concerned about the efficacy of Joe "Mad Dog" Eberhardt's sales and marketing strategy for the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid for some time now. And it would appear, after reading Josee Valcourt's latest report from the world of Auburn Hills, we can now count the D-town bastion of auto insider-dom, the Detroit News, as the newest member to the team. As you'd expect, Josee's piece reads much like our commentary from a few weeks ago. Now of course you know we'd never say anything snarky or sarcastic — nor would we ever gloat about being first with the story. Instead, we'd just like to welcome the Detroit News aboard and remind them that we were here before there was a bandwagon, so you know, we'll keep shotgun, thank you very much. Oh, and about that banging noise you hear, it's just Sweet Peet in the trunk — don't worry, his bark's worse than his bite.– Ray Wert More »

Autoexremist, er, Autoexcremist, er Autoextremist: Hey, Ho, Eberhardt Must Go!

The Peet that's Sweet and Fun to Eat has chimed in on the "Joe Eberhardt is a pox on Chrysler...or is he?" debate, and he's most definitely come down on the side of the pox. Peet's plan for Chysler Group's salvation? Bring back Wolfgang now that Herr Doktor "Your vife, my vife" Winterkorn has taken the big chair at VW, make LaSorda COO, shunt Eberhardt back over to Mercedes-Benz and can current COO Eric Ridenour. After that? Fre a bunch of people and stop doing things like the Aspen and the Sebring. – Davey G. Johnson More »

Chrysler Group's Marketing Man Makes You Wonder: "Hey Joe, Is It Time To Go?"

The recent (and steeply sloping) sales and revenue downturn over at the American side of the German-American hybrid has caused folks to speculate whether the muckety-mucks running the day-to-day show under Chrysler Group CEO Tom "two shakes a day" LaSorda over in the Auburn Hills, MI HQ have been making the wisest of choices. Of LaSorda's executive squad, no washroom key carrying member of the team's being talked about in hushed tones more than Joe Ebehardt, the sired-in-Stuttgart exec veep in charge of Chrysler Group sales, marketing, service and probably some other stuff too. We've heard all manner of stories surrounding the main marketing and sales stud at the Chrysler Group — everything from shouting matches with dealers to botched marketing decisions regarding creative — but recently it's become a crescendo of crap — reaching heights that force even those of us in a permanent half-drunk state to start asking questions like "Hey Joe, what do you know, how come Chrysler's sales can't seem to grow?" Let's take a closer look at what we've heard, plus some of our own analysis, after the jump. More »

Ad Watch: The Dodge Nitro's So Heavy, Man

You may have seen this ad already — a 60 second version of the spot above debuted on Sunday — and much of the ducats spent went to showing the commercial on CBS NFL, Fox NFL Sunday, NASCAR racing on NBC and "Law & Order" on TNT. But apparently the commercial, which is supposed to reflect "the masculine, bold design of the Nitro" won't just be airing where you'd be expecting guys to be. Mark Spencer, the senior manager of Dodge's marketing and global communications also plans for the ad to run on "Desperate Housewives" and "Crossing Jordan", because, More »