There are road tests of cars and then there are road tests of Bristol cars. The latter are without exception exercises in pleading, begging and the abuse of op-ed columns with the single, inevitable conclusion of no press car. Bristol owner Tony Crook likes to keep it that way, which is perhaps understandable when you consider that the few people who do manage to gain fleeting access to Bristols via owners willing to face Crook’s subsequent wrath usually find that the cars are puzzling examples of shoddy construction sold for Lamborghini prices.

So it came as quite a shock to my friend Zsolt Csikós—road test editor of Hungarian car site Totalcar—that a call to Bristol’s headquarters resulted in Tony Crook himself on the line and the promise of a ride. This lovable geek who often shares Eeyore’s outlook on life managed what even Jeremy Clarkson couldn’t manage: he found himself behind the wheel of a brand-new Bristol. A Bristol Fighter at that, powered by America’s great offering at the altars of displacement: the Viper engine.

Although Bristol Cars is a post-WW2 spinoff of the Bristol Aeroplane Company, they eschew an important engineering principle which crossed over from the world of aviation to car construction: Bristol cars are neither unibodies nor monocoques but bodies over frames, like pickup trucks. It is perhaps fitting then that the Fighter’s V10 engine was originally a Chrysler truck engine. In the Fighter, the all-aluminum block is equipped with Bristol’s own cylinder head and exhaust system, good for 558 HP. Should the latter be found inadequate, turbochargers are available to boost output to beyond a thousand horsepower, coupled with similar amounts of torque.

Of course this being Bristol, the test drive was not a week of freeform excursion on B-roads but a leisurely crawl through London traffic. I shall defer to the author at this point, translated from the Hungarian:

What does it feel like? I gave the throttle no more than a percent of go, save for my rare instances of hoonage when I gave it two percent. It doesn’t really make a difference as 558 HP is so much power that a heartier sneeze will drop you across half of Europe. Why would anyone possibly need the 1026 HP of the turbocharged version? One cannot think of anything other than the potential for great pub tales.

The clutch is remarkably light, not Diablo-heavy at all, and the same is true of the steering. Even though the Fighter could certainly use more upper-class destinations, it is perfectly drivable on the side streets around Soho. The gearshift is American in feel, precision not its strongest asset, but it requires a steady and firm grip for operation. And even if I never exceeded 40 MPH in the Fighter, it was a wonderful experience. The interior, the engine with its endless reserves of power, the execution and the sea of dials combine to make even a crawling Bristol a memorable driving experience.

Bristol is a beautiful, rugged, romantic theory on four wheels. The same goes for the Fighter, with more power and a more professional feel. Take it as it is. If you can.

So there you have it. If you’re no fan of computer displays and like your cars with copious amounts of tech-ed spirit and the charms and personality of handmade construction, your new ride is ready. All you need now is upwards of $370,000—and catching Tony Crook in a good mood. Just make sure you don’t namedrop Jeremy Clarkson.

Photo Credit: Zsolt Csikós/Totalcar

In addition to being fairly unoriginal, Marty McFly owns the manure shtick, we can't help but notice that they're against global warming and yet dropped a bunch of methane-producing material on his front step. Might as well have tried to spray old CFC hairspray in his face. [Gaurdian]

In many ways, this episode of Top Gear was one of the most-Jalopnik ever — featuring a very American petrolhead, an El Camino and a poignant good-bye to super cars and perhaps to one of the most well-known auto journalists...in the world.

For starters, as we told you here first, Jay Leno was the season closer "Star In A Reasonably Priced Car." Pretty funny segment, but for the most part there wasn't any news. Sorry folks, Leno's not the fastest around the Top Gear track. But fear not — there's more than just big chins in this final episode of the season.

There's also some serious horsepower in the form of a head-to-head comparo between the Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst and the HSV Maloo.

Finally, if you are a petrolhead in possession of an electronic screen, you will no doubt have a list of favorite Top Gear moments, made possible by the show’s relentless pursuit of uncompromising cinematography. The images which play a backdrop to the Aston Martin V12 Vantage driven by Clarkson are perhaps the ultimate expression of the visual style honed to perfection over the years.

In this sparse, beautiful and Kleenex-requiring segment, the lanky libertarian Brit waves goodbye to all we love about cars, exemplified by this vaguely insane Aston, a front-engined all-vented portmanteau of their smallest body and their biggest engine. The ultimate expression of the car as—to paraphrase LJK Setright—the Liberator, freeing us from darkness, ignorance and impotence.

Speculation is already rife about Clarkson’s goodbye also extending not only to the super car but also to Top Gear itself. We’ll see about that in the fall, or whenever he gets his next contract sign, won't we? In the meantime, click play then go listen to something with a V12 engine.

...Cunt.

According to various witnesses and The Guardian newspaper, Jeremy Clarkson called Gordon Brown a "cunt" in an unaired/unairable segment of the popular British motoring show. Last time he was forced to apologize because Gordon Brown only has one eye, causing a stir with disability groups.

Either way, the show is immensely popular and Clarkson seems to thrive on this stuff so we don't expect a lot of fallout. Also, we're not sure what argument special interest groups are going to make against him for this quip unless Gordon Brown actually has both sets of reproductive organs. [The Guardian]

Belfast has just completed construction on a new sewer system, meaning Clarkson, the Hamster and May won't have to splash through human waste in the name of infotainment. While the original 1969 film was set in Turin, Michael Cain was actually driving through Coventry's waste disposal system.

Filming is expected to take place "in the coming weeks" meaning we should see the race this season. No word on which one of the trio had the great idea. [via BBC]

British bulldog is a tag-based game, of which Red Rover is a descendant, played mainly in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada and other Commonwealth countries by children at school. The game is characterised by its physicality often being regarded as violence leading it to be banned from many schools, although this trend is now being reversed.

Despite Jeremy's belief they'd only have a bunch of cruddy Land Rovers ready to "fall over around the corners", the UK Army came equipped with an HMT (High Mobility Truck) 400 high-mobility 4×4 design built under license from Lockheed Martin (versus the other way around according to Clarkson's flapping gums). This Halo Warthog-like vehicle, nicknamed the "Jackal," has a 5.9-liter diesel engine that'll let it do "90 MPH...everywhere."

The British Army also brought:

• A Mastiff 2 heavily-armored, 6x6 wheel-drive patrol vehicle. The Mastiff 2 has a maximum speed of 55 MPH, but it's armed with the latest weapon systems, including a 7.62 mm general purpose machine gun, 12.7 mm heavy machine gun or 40 mm automatic grenade launcher.

• A Fiat-sourced Iveco F1C CRD-engined Panther Command and Liaison Vehicle (CLV).

• Last but not least, a Trojan armored engineering vehicle with all the standard equipment including a dozer blade, mineplough and excavator arm. A Full-Width Mine Plough can be mounted at the front to clear mines and a marking system can also be fitted — both were for this exercise in mad hoonage.

The excavator arm's our favorite part. Ha! Look at the silly little British k-nigggg-it yelling "Run Away!"

Part I

Part II

[Info, Photos via Army.mod.uk, Wikipedia]

Note: No Clarksons were harmed in the filming of this hoonage.

My last visit to the United States of America was in the early spring of 2004. I landed at JFK in a freezing wind, clattered in raw metal subway cars up to St. Nicholas Avenue in Harlem and proceeded to spend the next few weeks getting hooked on Krispy Kreme donuts, Macintosh computers and a Cadillac Seville with no ass.

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The apartment was on the first floor of an old house by St. Nicholas Park, bathed in regular clouds of marijuana smoke wafting up from the street below, visited by the occasional cockroach and heated by a silver-painted contraption seemingly from the early days of the Industrial Revolution.

They say it was a radiator. Perhaps, but it was certainly an awful radiator. You couldn’t trust it at all. During the cold winter of 2003-2004, it let down the apartment’s two permanent inhabitants—Bertalan pictured above, Lili behind the camera—so many times that it became a sad running joke. There were reports of entire days spent shivering in winter clothes and under blankets. Watching exhaled air form clouds as the ambient temperature approached the bottom edge of water in the liquid state.

But all that was forgotten when the radiator came to life. It snorted and hawked and gurgled and hissed, it was a machine from Victorian England living a second lease on life. You never felt safe in its immediate vicinity as a violent steam explosion with shrapnels of red-hot metal flying through the air often seemed imminent. And it gave off ample heat. It dried towels, warmed up St. Nicholas Avenue, it lifted the spirits.

The Bugatti Veyron sounds exactly like that radiator. That, of course, is no great surprise, as Jeremy Clarkson has already described the car in very similar terms in his December 2005 review for The Sunday Times, writing that “the engine sounds like Victorian plumbing — it looks like Victorian plumbing as well, to be honest.”

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The Veyron is at 03:07

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But it’s one thing to read that in the paper and quite another to stand three and a half years later behind bales of hay in the south of England and hear this modern-day Turbopanzer for the first time. You get used to supercars screaming on the upper edge of the human hearing spectrum and nothing really prepares you for the ultimate of their breed—at least in numbers—to gurgle by as a Victorian battleship, barely exercising the depths of its quirky 8-liter W16 engine. Sounding not like a car at all.

I wonder what Ettore Bugatti would make of this. That the latest incarnation of his lithe French racers is built by Germans to sound like the war machines of the British Empire.

Incidentally, the blue car pictured here is the T-top Veyron, also known as Officially The Fastest Road Legal Production Convertible. It was among the few cars cordoned off from the swirling masses at the Festival of Speed. You could, of course, lean in and poke its polished aluminum wheels, if you had long enough fingers.

I had long enough fingers but restrained myself. But I did lean in to bring you this picture of the Stig's head, which apparently comes on the side of your $2,000,000 purchase:

Photo of apartment with radiator by Lili Mesterhazy.

Jay's in England to visit the Goodwood Festival of Speed and flirt with Elle MacPherson, but it looks like he also managed to swing past the production studio of a television show with many, many more viewers than his own. At least now we know Leno's not The Stig, they never would have packed all that chin into that full-face Simpson helmet anyways. [via Jay's Garage]

Despite being the first to tell you that Stig would lift his helmet during last night's episode and it would be none other than Michael Schumacher underneath, we're now going to provide three reminders to everyone that no, the blonde-haired track-meister's not the only Stig.

First, one look at Shumacher's record-setting time around the Top Gear test track in a Ferrari FXX, and you realize he's not the same Stiggie we've seen on the show the last two seasons. Schumi was more balls-to-the-wall around the corners than the previous incarnation of our beloved Stiggie.

Secondly, Ferrari's only going to let an owner drive the Ferrari FXX. Make sense to us then that since they were testing Schumi's FXX, they'd have Schumi be the Stig.

That makes sense given the truth is, as most know, there have been many drivers who've played the Stig. From the original black-nomex racing suit-encased Stig played by Perry McCarthy, former Formula One racer and test driver for the Benetton, Arrows and Williams teams — to "Big Stig" who we're pretty sure was played by Tony Stewart after ingesting a small cow, there is a different Stig for different needs. And we're pretty sure African Stig was not at all Lewis Hamilton. Basically, we've been told by the BBC there's been no less than eight drivers donning the white nomex.

The most high-profile is Heikki Kovalainen, the 27-year-old Finnish Formula One McLaren driver who is Lewis Hamilton's partner. Forty-one-year-old former GT world championship racing driver Chris Goodwin, from London, has also starred as the Stig. As has fellow Londoner Julian Bailey, a 47-year-old former Formula One racing driver who raced for the Tyrell and Lotus teams.

Stunt driver Terry Grant from Bushey in Hertfordshire has also slipped into the white racing leathers to become the Stig. Stunt driver Russ Swift is another who has become the Stig. Then of course there were those Ben Collins rumors.

Finally, Dan Lang, a Swedish snow mobile racing champion played the Stig in a Top Gear stunt where he jumped a snow mobile off a ski jump. So to every Stig there is a purpose and yesterday's Ferrari FXX season belonged to Schumacher. Who will be the next to turn, turn, turn in the white racing duds? We guess we'll have to tune in to find out. Which is really what the BBC wants.

And that brings us to the third reminder. See, this was totally a tongue-in-cheek PR play. And it worked. We went all ga-ga over the Schumi as Stig story and you know what, so did all of you. And that's cool, because frankly, it was entertaining as hell. And when it comes down to it, we don't watch Top Gear to be informed, we watch Top Gear to be entertained.

Incidentally, on an almost entirely unrelated note — there's some serious props that need to go out to the Beeb for figuring out the importance of not only having a clip up on YouTube of last night's unmasking (we've included it again here), but for having it up within moments of the show's completion. Good work by Her Royal Majesty's TV service for understanding there's people outside of the BBC's broadcast network interested in seeing this momentous occasion — and beating out the thousands who'd be dropping pirated clips up and online. Already the clip's got thousands of comments and tens of thousands of views. Bravo, BBC.

According to Top Gear's own blog, Clarkson boasts tomorrow night's episode is "going to be the best thing that's ever been on television ever." Clarkson then reportedly paused for a brief moment before completing his sentence with "...in the world." Clarkson goes on to say

"the Stig barges into the studio and in an atmosphere you could cut with a knife, removes his helmet...as a television moment, it's up there with Neil Armstrong walking on… the corpse of JR Ewing."

While Clarkson goes no further in providing details to the identity of the show's tame race driver, it's more evidence we'll see the Italian Stallion-driving German underneath Stig's white helmet when we eventually see the show pour down upon us like a torrent of rain.

Additionally, Top Gear's site's spilled the beans on a few more details from tomorrow night's show in an exclusive photo gallery — including a first drive of the Lotus Evora and a train vs. bike vs. Jaguak XK120 race. We can't wait for tomorrow night — be here with us as we'll have first-hand reports as soon as the show finishes airing — as well as, perhaps, some super-secret video. We already know it's going to be simply magical.

Photo Credit: Hannah Johnston / Getty Images Entertainment

MAJOR NEW EXHIBITION LAUNCHED AT THE BEAULIEU ATTRACTIONWorld of Top Gear Now Open

The World of Top Gear Exhibition opened its doors at the National Motor Museum on June 19th.

The new exhibition at Beaulieu in the New Forest features a collection of the actual cars created by presenters Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May for some of their most ambitious challenges on the TV show over the years.

Fans of the show will be familiar with challenges such as their attempt to cross the Channel with their home-made car/boats, and the Stretched Limo Challenge, where they set out to turn rusty second-hand cars into luxury stretch limos, and chauffeur three celebs to the BRIT Awards.

Visitors will also experience the Top Gear ‘Enormodrome' which aims to recreate the feel of the Top Gear studio, where the TV show is filmed in front of a live audience.

As well as regular features from the programme including the Cool Wall and the Celebrity ‘Lap Times' boards, visitors can watch an exclusive video presentation from behind the scenes at the TG HQ with Jeremy, Richard and James plus clips from the show featuring the cars on display.

"It makes perfect sense for the National Motor Museum to be working with BBC Worldwide on the launch of World of Top Gear. While the National Motor Museum is primarily about historic vehicles this exhibition shows that cars can be entertaining and accessible to the whole family, not just the car enthusiast. We are delighted with the response that it has received from Top Gear fans," said Stephen Munn, Commercial Director at the National Motor Museum.

"It's fantastic that Beaulieu are preserving for posterity so many of the cars Jeremy, Richard and James have built for the show, and we are delighted to make the cars accessible for Top Gear fans to enjoy close up," said Adam Waddell, Managing Director of Top Gear, BBC Worldwide.

Note to Editors

* World of Top Gear can be viewed as part of a visit to the whole Beaulieu attraction including the National Motor Museum with its collection of over 250 vehicles, Palace House, home of the Montagu family since 1538 and the 13th century Beaulieu Abbey, plus rides, and drives for all the family. Open every day, except Christmas Day, from 10am. For more information Tel: 01590 612345 or visit www.beaulieu.co.uk
* BBC Worldwide's announcement follows exhibition success with Doctor Who where over 1.5 million tickets have been sold since 2005 in venues across the UK from Earl's Court, to Glasgow, to the home of production in Cardiff.

If you’ll pardon the pun and the allusion to body snatching, you must have all seen this segment of Top Gear’s Series 12 Episode 6 last May December. So, no news. In fact, we've even posted a part of it already in another Fiesta-related post.

But it does not do this pinnacle of televised motoring journalism justice. It is magnificent on many levels, including on the questions it raises about the very concept of road tests.

The second coming of Top Gear—as opposed to the original series—has never been about road tests per se, which are usually boring, videographed articles smattered with Excel spreadheets. On the contrary, Top Gear is a reflection of Jeremy Clarkson’s weird persona, which—as beautifully summed by my AK-wielding F1-driving friend Nino Karotta—is a decades-long career built on descriptions of what seventeen-year-old boys would like to do with cars.

Unlike seventeen-year-old boys, of course, Clarkson actually does everything a seventeen-year-old boy fantasizes about. With cars, that is. We’re not that intimate.

Still, you’ve got to grow up at some point, haven’t you? Just to prove that growing up does not necessarily mean discarding one’s seventeen-year-old self but can also be accomplished with a layering of older personalities, Clarkson road tests the new Ford Fiesta.

He does so in a way that will make you question the very essence of motoring journalism. Or, as Nino put it: “Azt hiszem, az autósműsor el van készítve. Keressünk másik feladatot.” Which roughly translates to: “Televised motoring journalism is a done deal. Let’s find other projects to occupy ourselves with.”

On a helpful note, Clarkson’s test also proves that no matter your profession, an amphibious task force will always come in handy.

Watch it if you haven’t done so yet. Watch it again if you already have. Then go and do something slightly dangerous.

Photo Credit: Top Gear

[via FinalGear]

Perhaps his greatest move in the genre was when he went medieval on a Corvette in a helicopter equipped with two miniguns. It is also the clip I post here with a significant amount of trepidation, hoping that y’all will not feel compelled to subject your crazy Euro car boy to similar treatment. Do note that I like Corvettes a great deal. Still—it’s hilarious television.

As Season 13 of Top Gear is being filmed, a set of photos have made it to the Lancer Register message board, showing soldiers, a large sand-colored military vehicle, a helicopter, and a white Evo which progresses between pictures from intact to severely damaged. The connection between these elements is not, at the moment, readily apparent.

Until further details emerge, may I suggest Top Gear’s take on a Range Rover vs. a Challenger tank or a Lotus Exige vs. an Apache helicopter gunship?

Photo Credit: Lancer Register

A few hours after we published our in-depth interview with Stile Bertone’s new design director Jason Castriota, I was standing by Lake Como with him showing me the secrets of his first Bertone design, the Mantide.

The front fenders melt into wings behind the front wheels then draw up into a single taut bunch—reminiscent of a calf muscle—which in turn passes under an archway similar to Castriota’s famous C-pillar for the Ferrari 599 GTB. The confluence of curves and LED’s in the back is, when viewed from a step back, a classic Kamm tail. While retaining the tried-and-true shape of the fastback, the Mantide is boldly futuristic.

But will anyone be able to drive it? There are plans to make two more examples, Castriota says, in white and green, to create an Italian flag with the addition of the first car. Then, in an email to the New York Times, he said: “We would not rule out producing as many as 10.” A price has also been quoted: €1,500,000

That's close to two million US dollars at the current exchange rate—almost two Veyrons worth of cold, hard cash. Not insignificant for a car built on a Corvette ZR1, which retails for 5% of the Mantide’s asking price. Let’s examine what you get for that kind of money, apart from the warm feeling of contributing to a company’s survival which has given us the Miura, the Countach and the Lancia Stratos.

Interior

While Jeremy Clarkson has named the Corvette ZR1 his car of the year for 2008 and our own road test editor Wes Siler called it “the best car ever made,” the fact remains: on the inside, it's all Corvette.

To whit, from our first drive:

In fact, the only thing detracting from the ZR1’s grand touring credentials is the interior. The only options on the $103,300 car are an awful set of chrome wheels and the 3ZR upgraded interior package, which succeeds in moving the interior from cheap and nasty into luxurious bass boat territory with more embroidered ZR1 and Corvette logos than my fragile mind could comprehend. We have a hard time accepting the “value” excuse; for this kind of money we’d no longer like to feel like a Jeff Foxworthy punchline. An automatic transmission is, thankfully, not an option.

Let’s see what the Mantide has to offer:

As you can see, it’s a modern European alcantara-carbon-fiber-leather affair, with the car’s hexagonal theme continuing as cutouts on the racing seats, themselves thin carbon shells. The instrument screen is the one used in the Ferrari FXX, the gearshift is a nice aluminum knob and it’s certainly got a snug racer feel to it. But it’s perhaps not as remarkable as the car’s exterior.

Certainly a major upgrade on the Corvette, though, but then that’s not saying much when you’re considering this is a two million dollar Italian super car.

Exterior

Here in Europe, the current Corvette is not liked much. It’s a big, brash American design, a brute amongst small European cars, but while it’s unarguably alien to these shores, I rather fancy its low, wide, flowing looks. In ZR1 trim, it’s a proper menace, with all the right vents, wings and scoops.

The Mantide gets rid of that all. Aside from the front-engined layout and the fastback silhouette, you would be hard pressed to tell there’s a Corvette underneath. And there is: the Mantide is not like the Italian-American cars from the 60s like the Iso Grifo or the De Tomaso Mangusta which paired an Italian chassis with an American V8. Beneath the red carbon fiber is a Corvette ZR1: LS9 engine, aluminum chassis, the works.

But what carbon fiber! It’s all sharp Bertone creases which turn into subtle arcs as you examine them up close, dihedral Enzo doors, smatterings of hexagons everywhere. The angular rear wheelarches—straight off the M577A armoured personnel carrier which transported the space marines into the doomed reactor core in Aliens—frame black Transformer wheels.

It’s dramatically new, so shockingly new that it’s actively disconcerting to take a few steps back and see its classic berlinetta profile. In person, it creates the sort of time warp the iPhone did when it first went on sale in the summer of 2007. You felt as though you were holding a sliver of 2011 in your hands.

The Mantide? I’d say it’s from 2017. Similar vehicles are on their way to leave the inner Solar System.

But then is it worth the price of 20 ZR1’s? There is, of course, no rational answer to such a question, as even the ZR1 is not an entirely rational purchase, being, as Dan Neil put it in his article The rapture of the hypercar, a big needle to deliver the combustible heroin of petroleum.

If you have space-faring ambitions on the public road, set to the soundtrack of a pushrod V8 with titanium bits, then by all means get in touch with Stile Bertone and put down whatever deposit they ask. The car geeks of the world need you to enable them to carry on the traditions of coachbuilding.

And then I saved the best part for the end. If you open the gigantic hood and peer inside, what you’ll see is exactly what you'll see when you open the hood of the ZR1 — a grinning, black Corvette Racing skull named Jake.

So even though this is not a race car, your Le Mans ass-kicking heritage is right there. And who could ask for more.

Photo Credit: Alex Conley (Corvette ZR1), Natalie Polgar and the author (Stile Bertone Mantide)

It’s quite a challenge to keep one’s imagination at bay when considering the above image. On technical specs, it’s no contest. The car in front is an Ariel Atom, a British-built land rocket with a 300 HP engine, notable for the significant transformation it brought about in Jeremy Clarkson’s face on Top Gear. Behind the Atom is a REVA G-Wiz, an Indian-made electric car for two adults and two children which will very slowly accelerate all the way to 50 MPH. It’s so small, it’s not even a car in Europe: it’s classified as an L7e heavy quadracycle.

Yet consider the drivers: the man commanding the Atom is at pains to look cool in his colored sunglasses and snowboarder hat. Breathing down on his neck, the men in the G-Wiz are dressed in Reservoir Dog suits. And it’s really not that hard to image the child seats in the back occupied not with children but with blunt instruments of terror.

No, one should never challenge men in a G-Wiz to a drag race. Not even if your car will out-accelerate a high-energy proton.

Photo Credit: Máté Petrány

According to Andy Wilman, the show's executive producer, they get the zeitgeist:

"This series we were going to film a road trip with a Lambo and a Porsche," he said. "Now it will be cars like the Toyota iQ because they're smart and clever and you can sense the mood. We're not that thick."

He even had a name for this new series: Boring Top Gear.

We like the shows exotic car antics as much as anyone, but some of their best work was with a Ford Fiesta, so we hope they'll take this as an opportunity to exercise their creativity.

[The Telegraph]

Photo Credit: IMDCB]

According to Drive.com.au, Ferrari's CEO admitted the company reached out to Top Gear to get them to "stoppa da crap" when it comes to the next show.

Speaking at the Geneva motor show, Ferrari CEO Amedeo Felisa said it was important to protect the brand and, as a consequence, the company had spoken to the Top Gear Live show's organisers from the BBC.

A spokesman for Ferrari said Top Gear Live had admitted to using fake Ferraris.

"We asked them to change it … for the Hong Kong [Top Gear Live] show (the last stop on the world tour)," said the spokesman. "We said ‘please use real Ferraris'."

The organizers for Top Gear Live said they'd be using drift cars, not fakes, for the Hong Kong show, thus removing the problem. Felisa was later heard saying "Nut up, this is Top Gear, not Top Pussy."

[Drive.com.au]

Clarkson and his midget mate Richard Hammond were down under for Top Gear Live, which is sort of like Muppets On Ice, but with cars. We've already heard Top Gear USA was canceled, but it's interesting to hear the less-PC version of events.

We do however think Clarkson is wrong on one key point: it's not Americans who "just don't get it, really" it's NBC. [via CarsGuide]

The highest-rated, most-watched automotive show on television is not immune to the impending doom that is the Carpocalypse. The BBC reported yesterday there will be budget cuts across the board in 2009 and Top Gear will feel that budget-cutting heat. We're being told the next season will be cheaper to produce and not only that, it’s likely viewers will notice.

According to Andy Wilman, the producer for Top Gear:

No point in moaning about that – all shows are suffering… so no reason why we shouldn’t suffer as well.

Our problem, though, is that there is no fat to trim off the show, in that we waste almost nothing behind the scenes and the old cliché of every penny goes on screen is actually true.

So in 2009 the budget cut has to affect what you watch.

Wilman also joked about Clarkson’s idea:

Instead of trimming back a little bit on every show - losing a helicopter here or a truck crash there - we'll endeavour to make 13 out of 14 shows as per the usual [Hollywood producer] Jerry Bruckheimer standard, and then the last one, when we only have a tenner left, will be utter, utter *****.

The Stig also spoke his mind about the cuts:

.—. .-.. . .- ... . / -.. —- -. .—--. - / —. . - / .-. .. -.. / —- ..-. / — . .-.-.- / .. .—--. — / .. -. / .-.. —- ...- . / .— .. - .... / - .... . / .... .- — ... - . .-. / .- -. -.. / .. / -.. .-. .. ...- . / ..-. .- ... - —..— / ...- .-. —- —- —- —- — .-.-.- / — .- -.- . / ... ..- .-. . / -.— —- ..- / -.. .-. .. -. -.- / -.— —- ..- .-. / —- ...- .- .-.. - .. -. . .-.-.-

We don’t mind Clarkson’s idea so much, but losing content from the show will really affect the impact Top Gear has on enthusiasts. Will this really affect the production quality of the show? Probably, but not as much as you’d think, though they may have to cut down on Clarkson’s banter every now and again. We hear he's now being paid by the word.

[via Telegraph.UK]

When Jeremy Clarkson first reviewed the ZR1 he claimed love for the American-made supercar despite the propensity for it to disintegrate. In his year-end retrospective for the Sunday Times he essentially repeats this claim but says, despite this, it was the best car of the year.

And then out of nowhere came the ZR1, which has a supercharged V8 that manages to be both docile and extraordinarily savage all at the same time. I’ve been trying to think of a dog that pulls off a similar trick, but there isn’t one. And anyway, this car is not a dog.

Oh, it’s not built very well. After just three days in my care, the boot lock disintegrated and the keyless go system refused to acknowledge the keys were in the car, but I didn’t mind because there is simply no other car that looks this good, goes this fast – in a straight line and around corners – and that most of the time bumbles about like a forgetful uncle. And when you throw in the price tag of just £106,690 – lots for a Corvette but modest next to a similarly powerful Ferrari – the case for the defence can sit down and put up its feet knowing that the prosecutor simply has nowhere to go.

It is an epic car and I’m only sad that unless the healthcare and pensions company that makes it can be turned around, it will be the last of the breed.

By selecting the new Corvette ZR1 as the best car of this past year Clarkson is agreeing with our ZR1 review, in which we stated it was "the best car ever made" and had an Amerigasm so massive the earth shook. He also seconds our fear of the Carpocalypse halting the return of the great American car.

Of course, he has some bad things to say about the Chrysler Sebring but, c'mon, who doesn't hate the Sebring?

The Sebring is an extraordinary car. Ugly to behold and hateful to drive, it is not cheap, elegant, comfortable, practical, prestigious, clever, economical, luxurious, well designed, well thought out or, if the rental car I drove in America this year is anything to go by, especially well made either.

As always, it's an entertaining read. Hat tip to Manic Synic.

[Times Online]

Photo Credit: TopGear.com]

Minimum Expectations For Top Gear UK Season 12, Based On The Teaser

• Veritas RS III
• Stig in a Bugatti Veyron
• Lamborghini Gallardo
• Speedboat driving
• Double decker bus racing
• Semi truck foolishness
• Pagoni Zonda
• Corvette ZR1
• Cadillac CTS-V
• Dodge Challenger SRT8
• Reno shenanigans
• Mercedes Benz C63 AMG
• Lexus IS-F
• Bathroom challenge, apparently

Well, he couldn't just leave the Falcon sitting on the sidelines, no sense leaving it to rust as he'd already stayed true to it for 23 years. So Eric "Hoon-Hulk" Bana put together a documentary to provide the inside story of his dragon-like affection for the car, his mates and how he got it back together. For color commentary, Bana brought in the likes of Jeremy Clarkson, Jay Leno and yes, Dr. Phil. Why Dr. Phil? Well, when you've got a dragon in your pants for your car — even a monster of a beast like Bana's red XB, we're pretty sure Dr. Phil would have a problem with it. Silly, puny Dr. Phil, doesn't he know anything about cars? Bana smash!

By the end of the year there will be a Clarksonov, Hammondchenko and Mayovski roaming the frozen steppes of Russia. Probably in Ladas.

Yes, there’s going to be a Top Gear Russia. Made in Russia for the Russians. A bit like the Aussie TG, but with more back-to-front letters and fewer boomerangs.

Everything’s a bit hush-hush at the moment, but we know that it’s going to run for 15 episodes initially, around the end of this year. The Russian Top Gear magazine has been doing well over there since its launch in 2004, so hopefully the locals will be familiar with TG’s ‘ambitious but rubbish’ philosophy.

First up, though, we’ve got to find the local presenters. Rumours that Clarkson, May and Hammond will be making a guest appearance clad in bearskin hats remain unconfirmed.

We can’t imagine there’ll be any shortage of candidates for the arduous job of thrashing supercars around the beautiful Russian outback. Or whatever the Russians call the outback.

There’s no word on what studio or test track they’ll be using yet, but we have glorious visions of a giant Russian Clarkson firing up a Murcielago in a decommissioned nuclear silo, surrounded by hoards of TG faithful wrapped up in layers of wintery clothes.

And bearskin hats. It’s all about the bearskin hats.

(Hat tip to Andreja!) [via Top Gear]

The scooter Jeremy is riding is a Vespa GTV, which comes in 125 and 250cc versions. We don’t know if he has a motorcycle license, but if he doesn’t, Clarkson was violating the law by not equipping the scooter with L plates (which are used in the UK to signify that a learner rider is operating the vehicle). Learners are allowed to operate motorcycles of 125cc or less, so if this is the 250cc version, that could be a further violation. That machine makes about 22 HP and is capable of reaching 76 MPH, in excess of the national speed limit.

Clarkson once said, “Some parents say drugs are the biggest threat to youngsters. I disagree. Every weekend, everyone under 25 takes crack, smack and E and very few are harmed. Bikes are far more dangerous.” [The Daily Mail via Moto Meme]