BMW, Daimler to Opel: It’s a Dog-Eat-Dog-Eat-Automaker World

Opel is dying and the heads of BMW and Daimler would like the German state to keep its hands out of the process. More »

Wolfgang Bernhard Riding Back Into Daimler Management

We've just heard the Tomahawk-riding former-Chrysler-and-VW exec, Wolfgang Bernhard, has just been hired back by Daimler to run the company's Van unit. Hey, maybe Dieter Zetsche is putting the band back together! More »

Mercedes-Benz A-Class And B-Class Could Be Bound For America, According To Dr. Z

A new Mercedes compact could be in your future, according to mustache aficionado, part-time bartender and Daimler Chief Dieter Zetsche. Despite previous reports that the A-Class was too expensive and the US dollar too weak, the sudden shift in American tastes has made the Mercedes A-Class not so much of a reach. Dr. Z also indicated the rumor about a US-spec B-Class being secretly designed for North America isn't so far-fetched either. More »

Detroit Auto Show: Dr. Z Pours Us A Pint Of Bass, We Warm Up To Ze Germans

Daimler head Dr. Dieter "Tobias Funke" Zetsche, or Dr. Z as he's more affectionately known to us, was once again serving up beers at this year's Firehouse aftershow party (we were nervous that, after Daimler dropping down to only a partial owner he'd not come back). Though he only served up a few pints, we were quick to get in line and have him serve up a tasty brew for us. As any cowboy knows, a long day on the trail works up a mighty thirst. The same goes for the press. This is doubly true when hundreds of longhorn cattle show up at the Detroit Auto Show. Enjoy the photos of Ze Zetsche grabbing us Ze Bass. More »

The Zetsche Does Not Need Your Puny American Auto Company

DaimlerChrysler Chief Deiter "Tobias" Zetsche says everything is great since they dumped Chrysler. Seriously. They feel great, look great and are seeing new people. They'd have totally made a profit last quarter, but they needed time to get over the breakup (and related charges). Things are looking up for old Daimler so don't count him out. He's going to focus on the basic things, like Mercedes Benz. And he's trying new things, like fuel cells. Seriously, couldn't be better. Thanks for asking. [AP]

Dieter Zetsche e-mails his goodbye to Chrysler. Parting is such sweet sorrow — or as one Freep commenter writes: "Later Stache." [Freep]

Chrysler Sale Cost DaimlerChrysler $673 Million?

I know DaimlerChrysler's claimed they sold the 'merican half of the business for $7.4 billion, but according to the Wall Street Journal as well as Brian O'Connor at the Detroit News, the sale price was significantly lower than that according to Cerberus CEO Lenny Tessler. He claims:

"In essence, they paid us to take the company...I'm not talking out of school."

But according to the Journal's stat folks, a look at the deal has Cerberus shoving most of its money right into Chrysler. Daimler's check is only $1.3 billion — plus it's going to loan Chrysler money and eat up some of the current losses. The bottom line is Daimler actually pays out $673 million in the "sale." Although DaimlerChrysler's Herr Doktor is denying he's paying Cerberus to take Chrysler, he's also not saying... More »

Corporate Unmerger of E-mails: Dieter Style

Hot on the heels of the announcement that the merger of equals will become a partial-ownership-but-mostly-sale-of-no-longer-equals comes an e-mail from Grand Master Mustache Dieter Zetsche to his beloved employees. Something about "toughest thing I've done in my professional career" and "Chrysler will be more agile and flexible"... and then my eyes glazed over. No word on how Cerberus will make Chrysler more flexible, but like I said, I didn't read it too close. It could have said everybody gets a free puppy and ice cream and I would have missed it. Full mailer after the jump... – Ben Wojdyla More »

New York Auto Show: Dude, The Chrysler Group Is Totally Going To Sue VW In Germany!

We spotted this interactive unit in the Volkswagen display. What is this — Ask Dr. K? Ask Dr. VW? Talk about rubbing it in the Chrysler Group's face. We love it when automakers kick each other when they're down. – Ray Wert More »

Even More Chrysler Group Sales Speculation: Jedi Council Edition

YODA : Your thoughts dwell on your potential to be a takeover target.

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The Official Car Pundit Drinking Game: Crying "Chrysler's For Sale" From The Rooftops!

Well, it looks as though our associate editor from Detroit's going to have to put his money where his always-on mouth is and explain his whole "Chrysler not really for sale but really could be" silliness idea on CNBC tonight. That's right, 'merica's business channel wants him to take a stab at Dr. Z.'s big idea at 7:17 PM EST in front of Melissa Francis or you know, whoever may be hosting On The Money this erev shabbos. So while he's getting powdered and lavaliered up, let's get to the real work — dusting off those shot glasses and coming up with some new rules. If all of this is confusing to you in any way, feel free to take a look back at what's transpired in the oldest established permanent floating drinking game for car pundits. More »

All Your Automakers Are Belong To GM: General Motors Looking At Acquiring Chrysler Group?

Photo By: Bill Pugliano / Getty Images News More »

DaimlerChrysler Open To Any Option Involving Chrysler Group, Including Sale

Dieter's just spoken, and he's stated very unclearly clearly on the speculation of whether the German-American hybrid's willing to look at selling off the Chrysler Group:

"our thinking does not exclude any options and that means all options are on the table."

Thanks for clearing that up Dieter, get ready for the story from the hyperactive Detroit auto media to be "DaimlerChrysler Looks To Sell Chrysler Group." Gotta sell them papers magazines online subscriptions blog posts! Although, we look on the bright side, at least at this time he's being purposely unclear and this time we're not ruling out the potential for a story here. – Ray Wert More »

Breaking! Chrysler Group To Cut 13,000 Workers And Return To Profitability By Investing In...Engines?

Now we understand why Dr. Z won't be talking about the Chrysler Group. The main man in the big office in Stuttgart is letting his main man in Auburn Hills, MI give the bold and bad news and put his ass on the line. Like when he's giving the news today that instead of 11,000 job cuts, the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid's trying to beat expectations on the street and cut 13,000 jobs, which amounts to approximately a 16% cut. hourly employment will be reduced by 11,000 over three years, with 9,000 in the US and 2,000 in Canada. On the salaried side, Chrysler will be reducing employment by 2,000 over the next two years, with 1,000 each in 2007 and 2008. Nothing like the tease before the real release, eh? That's the big news on the jobs numbers, but what about where they'll be coming from? Well, since... More »

Breaking! DaimlerChrysler Makes $7.3 Billion In 2006, Chrysler Group Posts Loss Of $1.5 Billion, Up To $1.3 Billion In 2007 On Restructuring

Photo Credit: Bill Pugliano / Getty Images News More »

One Down: Wolfgang Exits Stage Left At VW, Will Chrysler Group's LaSorda Be Next?

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Bump N' Grind: Dieter And Tom Get The Man-Love On

While our main man from the West-side of the US of A brought you the product love from Mercedes, I'm here on this side of the 8 Mile line to get all obsessed with the industry insider stuff. So of course I was all over the man-love going on at the reveal for the more Bruce side of the German-American hybrid. Because given the sales banking of excess production going on over in Auburn Hills (and Detroit Metro Airport, the State Fairgrounds, lots and of course — empty trains behind the Best Western in Allen Park) any public love being shown to Chrysler Group CEO Tom LaSorda by the boss man, Dr. Z, is probably sorely appreciated. That's why the following little hug n' bump with DaimlerChrysler boss-man Dieter Zetsche must have felt so good to Windsor's favorite son. Heckuva job there, Tommy. – Ray Wert More »

Bluetec, 4Matic, Ocean Drive and Emmitt Smith: Mercedes-Benz Detroit Press Intro

See! Zetsche on Ice! Before he sauntered across the street to slake the thirst of a teeming mass of boozehound autojournos and sycophants at the Firehouse, Dr. Zed took to the ice rink after a rather inexplicable intro involving a man on a sled pulled by some ripe-smelling dogs. What followed was an orgy of winter sport including ice dancing, hockey and other whatsits while 4Matic-equipped Benzos cruised the frozen H20 on Bridgestone Blizzak tires. More »

It's Expected, He's Gone: Bernhard No Longer to Represent Vee Dub

Not-So-Happy Valentine's Day! Is February 14th An Important Date For Chrysler Group CEO Tom LaSorda?

Chris Vander Doelen of the Windsor Star, the main newspaper of the Canuckian hamlet on the other side of the river from Detroit, claims he's got himself a source telling him when the get 'er done date for a Chrysler Group turnaround by Windsor's hometown hero, Tom LaSorda, needs to be under way. The CEO if the 'merican side of the German-American alliance, was born and raised in Windsor, and if Vander Doelen's source is correct,

"he's got until Feb. 14 — that's when the board meets in Detroit..."

Hmm, that'd be a helluva crappy V-day gift from the DaimlerChrylser exec board, wouldn't it? I kind of hope they'll at least bring him chocolates and flowers if he ends up getting canned — and maybe a nice card. Hey, Dr. Z — if the board decides to fire Tom, please feel free to use the card from above if you can't find anything nice at Hallmark. – Ray Wert More »

Joltin' Joe Eberhardt Jumps Ship: Chrysler Marketing Man Moved To Mercedes

Joltin' Joe Eberhardt has left the building folks. Seriously — he's no longer at the Tech Center in Auburn Hills. The main marketing and sales man for the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid, according to a statement released today by the company:

"will be leaving the company in order to return to automotive retailing within the Mercedes-Benz network in the United States. The Senior Vice Presidents and Vice Presidents of Sales, Marketing, International and Service will report directly to LaSorda until further notice."

Although we're not saying we had anything to do with this obviously not-by-his own-choice move (because you know, who really goes "down and to the left" and leaves at the close of business of their own accord?) — because then you would be ignoring the part about how Eberhardt had a total performance-suck since taking over the job. But then again, if he hadn't blown total goat, we'd have had no reason to make fun of him — well, except for the weird accent. Full press release after the jump. – Ray Wert More »

Autoexremist, er, Autoexcremist, er Autoextremist: Hey, Ho, Eberhardt Must Go!

The Peet that's Sweet and Fun to Eat has chimed in on the "Joe Eberhardt is a pox on Chrysler...or is he?" debate, and he's most definitely come down on the side of the pox. Peet's plan for Chysler Group's salvation? Bring back Wolfgang now that Herr Doktor "Your vife, my vife" Winterkorn has taken the big chair at VW, make LaSorda COO, shunt Eberhardt back over to Mercedes-Benz and can current COO Eric Ridenour. After that? Fre a bunch of people and stop doing things like the Aspen and the Sebring. – Davey G. Johnson More »

Chrysler Group's Marketing Man Makes You Wonder: "Hey Joe, Is It Time To Go?"

The recent (and steeply sloping) sales and revenue downturn over at the American side of the German-American hybrid has caused folks to speculate whether the muckety-mucks running the day-to-day show under Chrysler Group CEO Tom "two shakes a day" LaSorda over in the Auburn Hills, MI HQ have been making the wisest of choices. Of LaSorda's executive squad, no washroom key carrying member of the team's being talked about in hushed tones more than Joe Ebehardt, the sired-in-Stuttgart exec veep in charge of Chrysler Group sales, marketing, service and probably some other stuff too. We've heard all manner of stories surrounding the main marketing and sales stud at the Chrysler Group — everything from shouting matches with dealers to botched marketing decisions regarding creative — but recently it's become a crescendo of crap — reaching heights that force even those of us in a permanent half-drunk state to start asking questions like "Hey Joe, what do you know, how come Chrysler's sales can't seem to grow?" Let's take a closer look at what we've heard, plus some of our own analysis, after the jump. More »

Some Merged Equals Are More Equal Than Others: DaimlerChrysler CFO Won't Rule Out Chrysler Sale

This morning, as I sat at my laptop in my boxer briefs listening to the webcast of DaimlerChrysler's quarterly earnings numbers — I heard something that jolted me so hard, I've literally been in a stupor the past two hours. What could have caused such a reaction? Well, it was when DaimlerChrysler CFO Bodo Uebber answered the question of whether the sale or spinoff of Chrysler is a possibilty as such: More »

DaimlerChrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche Wants Us To Be His Friend, But Can Facebook Give Us Free Mustache Rides?

We love facebook, and to be honest, we're on it way too much — especially for "kids" that are "our age." But ever since the site went from a college-exclusive site to professional inclusion, we feel less like dirty old men leering at the girls in the new freshmen class, despite using it for just that purpose. Now we can just say we're doing "professional networking" while we oggle the co-eds from Michigan State. So, when we received an e-mail this morning letting us know that the CEO of the German-American hybrid wants to be our friend, we were a bit taken aback. Yes, we realize it's probably not really Dr. Z., but, well, you never can tell — and who are we to turn down a networking opportunity, right? Who knows, he may even have a hot daughter or two. But, as in all things — we're not going to let the main man from Stuttgart with a mustache into our inner-Facebook sanctum without running it by you guys and gals first — hell, we'll even let you decide for us. – Ray Wert More »

Not Yet Production! Dodge Releases Avenger "Concept" In A Barrage Of Bold

Yes, we know FoMoCo's got their steely grip on the "Bold Moves" moniker, but Dodge is making a hard press to get "Bold" as a feather in the German-American hybrid's cap. Well, they're trying to anyway...and we've now got some up-close pictures of the new Dodge Avenger "concept car" (and by the way — a message to you folks in Auburn Hills...we know you're gonna make it. Don't play so coy, k?) to compliment the corporate pics we dropped last week. Oh, and we've even got a special treat at the end — a certain non-medical Doctor looking to cure the Chrysler Group of any and all ailments. Receive the photo barrage after the jump. More »

Chrysler Group's Tom LaSorda: Yes To Structural Cuts, Yes To A Bigger Ad Spend

So Dr. Z may be out as the official spokesgerman of the German-American hybrid's Chrysler Group, but that don't mean it's the end of advertising this year for the company. Chrysler Group CEO, Tom LaSorda told media folks gathered after a speech yesterday to the Automotive Press Association (talk about into a frying pan) advertising spending "is going up dramatically" in the second part of this year, with Advertising Age predicting the automaker will more than double what it spent in the first half of the year during the remainder of 2006 — and that means Chrysler's second-half budget could be over a billion bucks. Although a good chunk of that change will go to marketing new-model launches, the rest will be looking to continue to market the blend of DaimlerChrysler's American design with German engineering — only on a non-"Dr Z" platform. Oh and while they'll be boosting ad spending, they'll probably be making some structural cuts — how else are they gonna pay for all that tv time? More »

The Trouble With Dr. Z

AdAge is reporting that despite criticism from the marketing pundits, Chrysler is continuing with its marketing campaign featuring DCX honcho Dieter Zetsche. Here's how we see it. The spots aren't particularly funny. We like Dieter at press intros. A CEO who's willing to have a little fun is all right in our book. The problem is, press introductions are not television advertisements. And while Dieter's funny for a CEO, he's no David Cross. Nor is he Peter Stormare. VW played the quirky German thing so well because they basically went the "Sprockets" route. More »

The Magic of "Step 2" Continues: DaimlerChrysler Releases 2nd Quarter Earnings; Chrysler Down and Mercedes Up

The magic that is Dr Z and "Step 2" will not, must not and can not be stopped. Unless it's next quarter and you're the Chrysler Group. That's the message coming out of both Stuttgart and Auburn Hills as the German-American hybrid of DaimlerChrysler announces second quarter earnings. But at least for now the numbers look tremendous, with second-quarter earnings of $2.3 billion, more than double what it made in the second quarter last year. The German-based Mercedes Car Group carried the day with a $1 billion operating profit in the second quarter, compared to a $15 million loss in the second quarter of last year. Mercedes continued its Dr. Z-led rebound with higher sales and a fresh n' clean line-up of vehicles. But not everything's peaches n' cream for the automaker led by the man with the mustache so amazing it's top of Google's search engine. The Chrysler Group earned $65 million, down from $695 million during the same quarter year-to-year. On top of that, Chrysler's warning next quarter will be hard and to anticipate an operating loss of close to $600 million. And quick as a flash, the magic of "Step 2" looks to be in danger. Will Dr.Z pull off a miracle? We'll be waiting and hoping. More »

Deeper, Dr. Z, Deeper! Chrysler Sweetens The Incentives Pot For Employees

Seems employees of the Auburn Hills end of DaimlerChrysler are feeling a bit miffed they're merely getting the same deal as the rest of the public on the cars they help build. Lucky for them, Dr. Z must have heard their pleas (potentially through the Ask site) and now the German-American hybrid is offering an additional $500 to $1,000 in rebates on select 2006 model Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep vehicles to Chrysler Group employees. The price adjustments mean Chrysler workers will have up to $2,500 in bonus cash on top of their employee discount. Like a shiny little feather in the water, Metro Detroit area dealers are hoping the incentive will lure Chrysler employees into the showroom, allowing them to sink the hook in. More »

Asking Dr Z: How're Profits At DaimlerChrysler This Quarter?

Like Chuck Norris, when Dr Z's on the scene, we know he can handle any problem. He gave a roundhouse kick to the Chrysler Group when he was over on these shores, and he's giving one to the Mercedes Group over in Deutschland as we speak. But since he can't be in two places at once, it looks like earnings at the German- American hybrid will only end up flat this past quarter despite an assumed profit in the Mercedes Group. According to analysts polled by AFX News: More »

Autoextremist: Industry 'Ballistic'

Sweet Peet D. pulls out the shotgun and claims that the auto industry, what with its Dr. Z's, proposed Japanese-Franco-American mergers and Oklahoman built, Sino-Anglo MGs (where's Booker T. when you need him?) has gone "ballistic." We don't know about that. 'Ballistic" generally implies some sort of trajectory is involved, no matter how loopy. There's no trajectory here. We prefer the phrase, "grasping at straws." As such, we offer up an anecdote after the jump. More »

Dieter Snubbed at German Mercedes Dealership

Back when we worked retail, we were supplied with a photo of our company president in case he happened to walk in. He was not a good president, but he was president nonetheless. In fact, Gawker may be the only company we've ever worked for run by a savvy businessman (Black helicopters overhead or the lure of coke 'n' hookers dangled before us? You decide). Regardless, Auto Motor und Sport reports that Dieter showed up as a secret shopper at a German Mercedes-Benz dealer and was summarily kept waiting by the receptionist for three-quarters of an hour. When the DCX CEO asked to talk to the boss, he was curtly informed that he was busy, without even lifting the phone to check. Kopfs we think, is gonna roll. More »

Dieter Ain't Afraid Of A Big and Bad General

DaimlerChrysler's main man — the TV star, interwebs star, commercial star and keeper of all things "Step 2" told reporters today at a Tokyo news conference that he's not in the least bit worried about a General Motors and Renault-Nissan killer combo, More »

The Detroit News Spots Dieter's Unfurling

Thanks to alert reader Karen, we know that the Detroit News has already snapped a pic of MC 900-Ft. Dieter; he's pasted across the side of Chrysler's Auburn Hills headquarters, visible from I-75. The new, oversized Herr Doktor Dieter "Overpowered by F nke" Zetsche is on display to mark the launch of the DCX honcho as Chrysler's new corporate spokesgerman. We already know that Sweet Peet doesn't like the campaign, and while we think it's kind of cute, it doesn't bespeak of glorious Dieterosity. What's more, we also think it makes Chrysler Group head Tom LaSorda look insignificant. Since we've had so many posts about Chrysler today, we're just gonna go ahead and declare Maximum Mopar Day on tha Jalop. More »

Dieter Alert! Step 2 Will Not Be Stopped: Reports Of A 900-ft Tall Dieter Looming Over I-75!

We're totally not even kidding here. Supposedly for today's press conference there's a 900-ft-tall Dieter Zetsche looming over Auburn Hills and I-75 right now. Since the Detroit one-of-us is up in Traverse City today (damn fruit festival) we can't get out and snap a picture of it, our Detroit office will be giving a prize to the first person snapping a pic of the giant Dr Zetsche over the city and sending it to tips-AT-jalopnik-DOT-com. We dunno what the prize will be, but for this, it'll be epic! More »

Paging Dr. Zetsche — Dunno Why, But We Know We Can't Wait To Find Out

Anyone checking out the Speed channel and watching NASCAR qualifying this evening would have noticed something a bit odd on the hood of Kasey Kahne's car. It's a website — www.AskDrZ.com — and if you hit the link you're sent to a cute little caricature of DaimlerChrysler's main man, and keeper of all things "Step 2" — Dr. Dieter Zetsche. What's it mean? We dunno. Will we find out soon? We dunno. Will he cure our std's with a wave of his magic wand? We hope so. Maybe we'll learn more from tomorrow's presser (word on the street is we'll have the new ads up here by 2:00 PM) — but one thing's for sure — we'll never be able to watch old episodes of "Arrested Development" in the same light again. [hat tip to pete!] More »

It's Coming: Zetsche Announces Smart Car Plan for US

DaimlerChrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche once said he wanted to make the ailing Smart brand "as profitable as BMW. Aside from building the ultimate driving machine, part of the plan is to bring it to the US. Zetsche announced today — following years of speculation — that the Smart brand will make its US debut in 2008. As we'd said earlier, the first car will be the next-generation Fortwo currently in development, and will be offered in three models: Small, Smaller and "What's Under That Truck?" Rather than slipping the brand into existing Mercedes dealerships, the company is tapping UnitedAuto Group — a large dealership network — to distribute the Smart. That's pretty smart. More »