In Soviet Russia, Top Gear Drives You

The Top Gear Russia is now upon us, with the third episode airing this week. Want to know whether the reasonably priced car will be a Soviet T-90 tank? Click through to find out. More »

BMW 850CSi Vs Ferrari 456 GT

Today's question comes to you straight from Alex Roy's loft in the NYC. Though Mr. Roy himself has no knowledge of it. No, the house-crashing intrepid Davey G Johnson done thunk this one up. We were having one of our usual DAF vs. FAF type dialogs over IM, only this time it was about the merits (and demerits) of a Citroen SM vs. an 850CSi. Davey pointed out that the SM was built off the DS platform, had the Maserati engine and fell to the earth from an advanced alien civilization. My counterpoint was that the 850 was effectively built out of raw chutzpa. "Fuck you. Here's our $100,000 supercar — and it looks like a Ford Probe. Eat it." Davey ceded that I had a point. But then he mentioned Ferrari's 456 (that also looks like a Ford Probe), a car that can take four humans up to a top speed of 187 mph. I had no comeback. Johnson = good. Each 90s ubermensch sports a rip-roarin' V12, a 6-speed manual and a 6-figure price. Also, as Davey pointed out, both cars came complete with all-important pop-up headlights. We're kinda torn. So we're leaving the decision up to you, O' sage readers. More »

DAFamino Madness Grips Vermont By The Throat

The DAF Club of America held a Micro/Mini Madness event [Update: next to] the live free or die state over the weekend. And didn't invite us! Which would be like having a Dead Kennedys reunion without Jello Biafra Genesis reunion without Peter Gabriel. We wouldn't have been able to go anyhow, as we were tied up in North Cackalacky und Tennessee, but still. Turns out that we didn't miss that much as Daniel Strohl of Hemmings fame reports, "I bopped up there, only to see a grand total of three and a half DAFs." One of them however, was a DAFamino. So, obviously, the whole thing was worth it. More images and the full story over at Hemmings. Hmmm... hey Johnson, don't see any upcoming FAF events, now do I?

War Without End

Old memes never die, they just want you (like L7) to pretend that they're dead. After the jump, Johnson and Lieberman get punny with the tenacity of portly men in blue and gray wool who just won't let that whole Civil War thing drop. Praise the Lord and pass the ketchup packets. More »

Belated Congratulations, DAF!

In the DAF vs. FAF war, the FAF, despite our readers' severe glaucoma and one J. Loverman's anti-French propaganda, was indisputably the cooler vehicle. Regardless, we would like to take a moment to note that we'd like to belatedly congratuate DAF — now a unit of American conglomerate PACCAR (while Citroën remains defiantly French and er, under the ownership of Peugeot) — on the construction of three-quarters of a million beasts of burden. That's right, on April 19th, the 750,000th DAF truck rolled off the line in Eindhoven. The company currently has no plans to introduce the Variomatic to the international trucking market, which is a shame, because what's better than backwords semi tractor racing? Very little, we tell you what. – Davey G. Johnson More »

You Want Weird? DAF/Jan de Rooy/Dakar Celebration Polka

Davey, we know you tried. We give you props for that. And yeah, Grace Jones eating a CX is pretty oddball. But Grace Jones would have put any old car in her mouth. And you can't argue that. However, this video is truly bizarre. Imagine if you will a NASCAR team celebrating a major win in this fashion. Having trouble? OK, now think of any sports team any where in the world performing a song and dance like this. Curling doesn't count. No, only the Dutch are insane enough to celebrate Jan de Rooy winning the 1987 Paris Dakar in his beyond amazing dual-engined DAF Turbo Twin II by filming a polka video featuring the entire race crew. Also, I believe the guy in the glasses sings, "Citroen Kaput!" In your pipe, Johnson. Start smoking. – Jonny Lieberman More »

Want To Know What Los Jalops Actually Talk About?

We're living in pretty interesting times. France just elected a right-of-center president while neo-con to the nth degree Paul Wolfowitz is stepping down as president of the World Bank. Chuck Schumer and Di Feinstein are calling for a vote of no confidence against Alberto Gonzales. Who, by the way, was trying to get John Ashcroft to sign away the 4th Amendment while the latter was in hospital. Jerry Falwell's carcass was found in his office and Larry Flynt said the dead sack of shit Reverend was his friend. Oh, and there's a war (still) going on. Also, craziest of all, Brett Favre might want to be traded. So what do we here at Jalopnik discuss during these historic times? Make that jump; find out. – Jonny LIeberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: IT'S OVER!

If Johnson had a tail right now, it would be tucked between his thighs in defeat as he staggered home from the bodega with all manner of who-knows-what in his hand. Meanwhile, the Loverman is bounding merilly (and surprisingly daintily) across the rooftops of Mount Washington shouting, "The Dutch stole the clutch!" and "Snatchback!" Meanwhile, his neighbors are shouting, "There's a Loverman! On the roof!" We kind of hope at least one is named Tevye. At the other end of the 110, Johnson is trudging slowly through the streets of Pedro, idly batting himself over the head with a discarded copy of the Daily Breeze and could only be made out to be mumbling "ifonlytheywouldadroppedthefugginhydro-pneumaticsuspensioninthatdamnedfaficouldafinallywonsomethingandmy- More »

DAF vs. FAF Finale: DAF Kini: The Prince of all DAFs

We promise, this is the last time Jalopnik readers will see a post about DAF for a long, long while (unless of course we can hook up a test drive of that TurboTwin X1). But, DAF beat FAF, so this is our victory lap. The, um, well, car pictured above was a gift from DAF to the Dutch Royals when prince Willem-Alexander was born. For years the Kini could be seen rocking the Italian Rivera where the young prince used it as a M hari. We just like where they put the headlights. – Jonny Lieberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: The Final Battle

To the aggravation of some and the amusement of others, two of the guys who exist in the form of Jalopnik.com have been at war for the last week over a couple of vaguely ridiculous European cars. The Loverman has come down on the resin-encrusted side of Dutch manufacturer DAF, while Davey G. has gone on record as ridiculously worshipful of Citro n's easy-to-build, easy-to-finance FAF project. DAF has a miraculous rubber-band drivetrain. The FAF vehicles were based on the venerable 2CV platform. DAF built an omnidirectional amphibious vehicle. There is a cult of 2CV speedboat enthusiasts on the Continent. Both had Camino variants. In short, both Jonny and Davey will admit that the other's choices are awesome. But ultimately, which is more awesome? That readers, is what we're leaving it up to you to decide. Who will triumph? The can-can-dancing harlots of the Moulin Rouge, or the weeded-out kinkstresses of the Red Light District? More »

DAF vs. FAF: A New Salvo; OSI DAF City Car

That's a microcar with suicide doors. Johnson's goose cooking suicide doors. But just two, as the driver's side features a Tjorven-style slider. That combo is... well, it's unique. And Dutch/Italian is way cooler than plain old French. Predicting a near-future where traffic snarls and general congestion would make life in the city (or at least parking) miserable, the Dutch rubber band mad men of DAF teamed up with the slick Italian coachbuilder OSI to produce the City Car concept. Why suicide doors? Why the hell not? Fine, they are supposed to make the car more practical. We also love the white vinyl-look interior. Especially the door padding. A few more dangerous pics after the jump. – Jonny Lieberman More »

Space Wagon Swallows DAF and FAF

Flimsy corrugated French tin and Dutch belt drive what-nots are simply no match for the Mitsubishi Delica Space Gear. Superior Mitsubishi FUSO technology was summoned and used to assimilate the puny and less luxurious vehicles into the cavernous yet practical interior of the Space Gear. More than eleven 2CV's were melted down to make the suspension alone. – Mike Bumbeck More »

DAF vs. FAF: Storming the Beaches with the DAF Dune Buggy!!!

Rubber bands, boxer engine, fiberglass body, retro-design and a inflatable dolphin! And yeah, it's a Camino. You cannot find a hotter and/or uglier ride anywhere. I checked. Davey, you have no victory. The Dutch karate is too strong. More topless, clutchless, eyesore-ness after the jump. – Jonny Lieberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: All the Loverman's Caminos Are Actually Belong to Johnson

In some ways, Jonny, I feel a bit like I'm cheating here, as I'm going back to the Citro n t FAF page, and I already noted part of this in your Tjorvenamino post's comments, but not only was there a FAF-Pere 2CVamino, an open-cockpit FAFamino, and an A FAF air-droppable military vehicle with Camino-esque tendencies, there was also a hardtop FAFamino. Plus, the FAF's guillotine could dispense with your beloved rubber bands in a heartbeat. Read 'em and weep: the Dead Man's hand again. – Davey G. Johnson More »

DAF vs. FAF: The Dutch Beat the French: The DAF-Tjorvenamino!!!

Go ahead, dude. Seriously, go ahead and even try to front on the quadruple-radical, insane mind-breaking magnitude that is a Dutch/Swedish Camino which started life as a postal van, sports an air-cooled boxer mill and has rubber bands connecting the continuously variable tranny to the rear wheels. Just try it, Johnson. We, along with Holland, exist in the form of the winner. – Jonny Lieberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: The Davey Made Me Do It: Swedish DAF Postal Van AKA The Tjorven!!!

Sweden's got some very bad weather. So who do they call on to deliver their mail? Answer: Not Saab. Why, it is none other than DAF! This rubber band-motivated Kalmar Verkstad rebodied DAF 44 sports the awesome air-cooled 2-cylinder 40hp boxer engine we love so much along with the righteous, clutchless Variomatic CVT. It only has a single seat (much like the Jalopnik-beloved DAF Pony Military Vehicle) on the right and a sliding door on the left. Davey, why won't you save face and admit defeat? More Dutch/Swedish mania after the jump. More »

DAF vs. FAF: Would You Rather be a Platypus or a Shark?

Not so fast, Loverman. I will concede that the DAF Swim Car is a rather impressive piece of machinery. In theory. Everyone knows that amphibious cars barely work. How many Sherman Duplex Drives ended up at the bottom of the English Channel before they reached Normandy? But a 2CV on the other hand — a 2CV can be turned into a speedboat, as Dear Leader Spinelli pointed out long ago. And it's a short jump from a 2CV to a FAF, not unlike the minor leap from great ape to DAF defendant. Music! – Davey G. Johnson More »

DAF vs. FAF: The Surrender Monkeys Lose: The DAF Swim Car!!

We're not even entirely sure what we're looking at. But we do know DAF has check-mated old Johnson and his French non-hackers. This dear friends, is the DAF Swim Car. It is an off-roader. It is a convertible. It has a propeller. It has four-wheel steering via a second driver who faces backward. It floats. It looks the same coming or going. The engine cover can probably be used as a picnic table. It makes Davey say, "Uncle." It kicks the cheese-eaters in the nads. Make the jump for more photos. – Jonny Lieberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: Military Pony, Meet the A FAF, Take One Look and Die

The base vehicle has been modified to give it a 4x4 suspension, upholstery and floor mats which do not wear out as fast, and a switch starter instead of a key, along with things such as rifle racks, radio mounts, and other such accouterments. The front windshield can be folded forward and the canvas top removed. The rear bench seat folds forward to increase cargo room if necessary. Rear area commanders and teams in lower-priority areas use these vehicles. The A FAF is strong enough to be airdropped.

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DAF vs. FAF: Froggy Mehari Gets Whooped By DAF Pony Military Vehicle

Davey, Davey, Davey. Will you ever learn? Ouias? Non? You can't beat DAF, you can only hope Volvo buys them. Your little French off-roader is cute, but its puny butt gets beaten redder than table wine by the true king of obscure European 4x4s, the DAF Pony Military Vehicle. First of all, the driver sits in front of the vehicle — not in the front of, but all the way ahead. Which is insane. Second, he has to steer side-saddle. Which is the origin of the word batshit. And don't even get me started on approach/departure angles. France simply cannot compete, Johnson. More proof? Make the jump to check out the horn. – Jonny LIeberman More »

DAF vs. FAF: Get Your YA-YAs Outta My Face, Jonny: Mehari!

Yes, once, long ago, I did write about the sheer radness of Citro n's mini-Jeeplet, which totally kicks the poo out of the DAF 66 YA. It's beefier, tougher-looking, was actually briefly sold in the US of A, and was available with four wheel drive. The plastic-bodied Mehari was also the basis for the mighty FAF, and featured very little to none, er actually, none in the way of variator-type technology. 2CV-Mehari-FAF? That's a lineage that can't be touched, son. Don't make me drop the 2CV Safari on you. More »

DAF vs. FAF: Nailing Shut Davey G's Coffin; The DAF 66 YA

Around the time Nixon resigned, the Dutch military realized that they were wasting an awful lot of money for all-wheel drive Jeeps that never left the pavement. If Luxemburg should attack, something less potent would do just fine. So the brass commissioned the best (and only) clutch-thieving Dutch carmaker to create a comparable two-wheel drive Jeep-type thingy. While cheap and cute, the CVT and its infamous rubber bands proved to be the weak spot. Though was it the 66 YA's fault? Not totally, according to DAF Cars — make the jump for more. More »

Don't Call it a Comeback: More FAFtasticness, Loverman Meets the Guillotine

Okay, so I was a little disheartened when the Loverman dropped the DAF Pony bomb. But I got up, dusted myself off, checked for traces of polonium and syphillis, and then I got busy. Dude, Jonny. There was also a FAF Pony! What's more, there was the FAF Patrol, which featured your beloved four-wheel drive, and is probably the ultimate French car for listening to Discharge at very high volumes in. Beyond that, the madmen at Citro n came up with a plot to build FAF factories in developing nations, using local labor and materiel. They even laid out an equipment list for the plants. Which, in classic French style, featured a guillotine. Beat that, you wooden-shoe wearing hippies! Click through for the scheme. More »

DAF vs. FAF: Kicking Davey G. in the FAF: The DAF Pony is Quite Simply the Radness

We hate saying it Davey, but all your FAFaminos are now belongs to us. Actually, with this post we will state that all Frenchcaminos are now the sole property of us, too. The Pony pictured is mechanically identical to the regular DAF micro-car (2-banger air-cooled boxer mill, CVT with rubber bands powering the rear-wheels, prefers tulips) except the Pony can be had as a dump truck! Or, if you prefer, a semi-truck!!! In your face, Johnson, in your face!! Make the jump for more boots up Davey's backside. – Jonny Lieberman More »