Here's a bit of advice, kids: Driving, booze, sex, and cacti are a bad combination.

Just ask this man, 25-year-old Luis Briones of Albuquerque, who faces multiple felony charges after authorities say he drunkenly crashed his Ford Explorer while having sex with a woman and then hid behind a cactus to evade the police.

Hey, it's New Mexico. What the hell else are you supposed to hide behind?

The Albuquerque Journal reports that Briones ran a red light in the Explorer on Monday night when he struck another car. His female passenger, who happened to lack clothing at the time, was ejected from the vehicle and hospitalized with cuts to her face and head.

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Briones reportedly tried to flee the scene with one shoe on and his shorts inside out. A witness stole his keys, so Briones hid behind a cactus and refused to deal with police and paramedics. When they finally got him in the back of the police car, Briones — perhaps believing that the party was not yet over — refused to keep his pants on, the newspaper reported.

And it sounds like he was having quite a party at the time. Police found a "partially full" bottle of vodka in the car, and had this to say in a report:

“Mr. Briones was observed to be having sexual intercourse with the passenger and sped off… at a high rate of speed,” the Albuquerque police officer wrote in a criminal complaint. “Their activities presented a danger to others in the roadway as exhibited by the accident.”

Indeed. He has since been charged with aggravated DWI, evading police and reckless driving.

Photo credit Albuquerque police/Shutterstock