Back when it was new, ads for today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Granada equated its looks to a Mercedes Benz. There’s no mistaking this Granada for what it is currently, which is totally awesome. Hopefully for the seller, so is its price tag.

In an odd twist on the differences between the haves and have-nots yesterday’s 2008 Chevy HHR SS was lauded by those who at one time have, or currently do own one, and was crapped upon by those who never have and for various reasons never will. I think it must be something like enjoying oysters: some people just look at them and say “eww, that’s like eating the ocean’s snot!” while those who have actually tried them know that they can be a delicious treat - especially with some lemon and a little horseradish.

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Crap, now I’m all hungry. Oh well, no time for that, we’ve got work to do. I’ve never driven an HHR SS but I like the specs, and I liked the presentation of yesterday’s car. Not all of you shared my feelings however - after all this isn’t Oprah - and that specific HHR SS dropped in a 53% Crack Pipe loss. Close, but no cigar as they say in places next door to where cigars are sold.

Okay, do you remember this mid-‘70s Ford Escort from a couple of days ago? That was the company’s European small car at the time, the Fiesta having yet to reach dealers’ lots. At the same time that ‘Scort was filling the low end of Ford’s European model portfolio, the Granada was filling the top. That was a tidy family of mid-size (or large by the European standards of the time)cars and featured a range of engines that maxed out at a 2.8-litre V6.

Here in America, we got another kind of Granada.

This 1978 Ford Granda Coupe is that other kind, and it was completely different from Ford’s European Granada. First off, it was a good bit bigger, and it sported a platform that could trace its roots all the way back to the Falcon which I think was a car that came over on the Mayflower, or maybe was driven by Fred Flintstone, I can’t remember which exactly. The U.S. Granda was also designed to swallow that epitome of American muscle, the V8 engine. So it is written, so it shall be.

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Okay, to be perfectly pedantic, you could get a Euro-nada with a V8, as the Mark II was offered so equipped in South Africa, but that’s getting off track. We need to focus on this U.S. bruiser and what it would cost to get it into your life.

Based on the opera window trim this Blue over Inland Empire two door appears to have been an ESS model. That was an acronym meaning European Sport Sedan which was an ironic moniker for a coupe. Maybe this naming convention was the precursor to all those 4-door coupes plaguing our sensibilities today?

The car is first and foremost a visual treat, jacked up but seemingly not “jacked up,” it rocks what’s claimed to be an HO (High Output) 302 V8 and a 4-speed stick for all your hooning pleasure. The engine breathes though what’s described as a bug catcher air cleaner and farts through dual pipes carrying glass packs. I love glass packs, and I also love that the big pipes exit the car ahead of the rear wheels.

If you’re looking for the lap of luxury then you’ll likely have to look elsewhere than this car because the interior is built for speed (the drug) and not for comfort. The pilot’s seat looks like it’s had a healthy amount of use, and is one step up from sitting on a milk crate. Who cares when you’re looking out over a hole in the hood that a fat cleaner pops through letting you see the engine shake with every stab at the go pedal?

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The body seems to be in great shape and there’s no worry about polishing all the chrome on those big ‘70s bumpers as they’ve been rattle canned black both front and rear. It comes with a clean title and the ad says it’s lots of fun to drive.

Look, speaking of driving, have you ever seen Tarantino’s half of Grindhouse - Death Proof? Of course you have. This car may not be a Nova, nor does it - yet - have a skull and crossbones emblazoned on its hood, but if you ever wanted to drive around scaring the crap out of people, this could very well be the perfect wingman for the job. I mean, if that’s what you’re into.

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To make that happen you’d need to come up with $2,600 and a bus ticket to Billings Montana. Now, I don’t know if busses actually run to Billings rather than just out of there, but $2,600 doesn’t seem like all that much, does it?

What do you think about this Granada and that $2,600 price? Does that seem like a deal to rule the road? Or, is this a Granada that’s priced to be sale-proof?

You decide!

Billings MT Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Jordan Hites for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your Kinja handle.

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