The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Carmakers are flooding us with new gadgets, promising better safety, comfort and more entertainment. What's newer isn't always better, though.


10.) Automatic wipers

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Not that it's hard to turn on wipers yourself, but automatic wipers don't even work properly. DerrickD says it's better to exercise your fingers:


Only in rain do they work. When it's misting, light rain, etc, the frequency of the wipers is never correct. For example, our '11 Fusion has automatic wipers (part of the upgraded tech package) and once you put it on maximum wiper delayed setting (often my favorite), it doesn't fucking work because it doesn't detect the rain!!!!!! Then when going to the next level (full-on low) it's to much. UGH!!!!!!!!!
It's just one more thing to break and go wrong. It's not helpful, it just gets in the way... And I am always nervous about winter & the wipers being frozen.

Apparently, Audi's version works brilliantly in Oregon, but I don't miss it for a second.

Suggested By: DerrickD, Photo Credit: The Webhamster


9.) Fake engine sounds

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

It's a shame BMW has to pipe fake exhaust noise through the speakers to enhance the BMW M5's sound. The good news is that if you can afford an M5, you can afford aftermarket exhausts as well. Or get an Audi RS7.

Suggested By: themanwithsauce, Photo Credit: Benoit cars


8.) Automatic headlamps

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

If your car doesn't have it, worst case scenario is that you forget to turn them on and get a ticket, or make people angry on your way. You will realize it at some point. If your car does have it, the shadow of a building or a short underpass can trigger your lights, which will drive you mad.

Suggested By: Leadhead, Photo Credit: seanmcgrath


7.) Permanent traction control

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

You know the feeling when you press it, it says it's off, then it turns out it isn't? We don't want that. Traction control is great when you drive a Corvette in the wet, but it's a menace on track or when you want to have a bit of fun on an empty road.

Suggested By: TheCrudMan, Photo Credit: Máté Petrány/Jalopnik


6.) Power doors

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

I agree with One Quick Turbo Brick when he says power liftgates are the best representations of human laziness. However, power doors are even more pointless and potentially dangerous, not to mention how much extra weight they add.

Suggested By: manifold engines, wanting for time, Photo Credit: Jalopnik


5.) Dashboard night vision

Look at the shiny screen! Look at the shiny screen! Oops, you just crashed!

Suggested By:My X-type is too a real Jaguar


4.) Collision and lane departure warning

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Dear car, I know I'm close to the next driver up ahead, I'm just about to overtake them.
Dear car, I know I crossed my lane without indicating. That's because there's nobody here.

Don't shake the steering wheel, don't make noise, don't flash your instruments, I'm driving.

Suggested By:DIRTEE30 and MDP310, Photo Credit: Buick


3.) CVT's with designated ratios

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Define your primary objective? Ok, now forget about it. Slush box paddle-shifters might be useless, but nothing beats 'upgraded' CVTs with pre-programmed shift points for no good reason at all.

Suggested By: Arch Duke Maxyenko, a Dyslexic, Photo Credit: Jalopnik


2.) Touch screens

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Touch screens are nice, but buttons are faster and safer on the road. That makes them the superior technology. Nothing is more high-def than an actual piece of plastic under your finger.

Suggested By: Arch Duke Maxyenko, a Dyslexic, Photo Credit:Robert Couse-Baker


1.) Electronic e-brake

The Ten Most Worthless New Car TechnologiesS

Try to forget about handbrake turns for a second!

Instead of saving the Enzos, we should focus on getting back our handbrakes. They work just fine.

Suggested By: Arch Duke Maxyenko, a Dyslexic, Photo Credit: Audi

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

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