The Pharaohs once ruled Egypt, and lived lives of ostentation, luxury, and pointy-ass beards. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe custom Lincoln is called the Phantom Pharaoh and you'll need to decide if its price proves the seller is living in de-Nile.
So the price of yesterday's stroker Trailblazer SS appeared not to be a stroke of genius, as 63% of you voted it down in a Crack Pipe loss. That's a damn shame because it was well-presented and looked like it'd be a barrel of monkeys to drive. Of course now that I think about it, maybe you're right. After all, a barrel of monkeys sounds kind of scary and very bitey.
Have you ever been bitten by the bling bug? You know, that little critter that makes people buy $300 Prada undershirts and have their Vay-Jay-Jays covered in rhinestones? Well, if you think that shit's d'bomb then have I got a car for you.
Many consider the Rolls Royce to be the utmost in conspicuous consumption, what with its Rolls and its Royce, and the little umbrellas stuck in the doors like octopoid sex toys, but they would be wrong. No, as evidenced by these images, the ritziest of rides; the most port-out, starboard-home; the Ayatollah of rock and rolla, is quite obviously the Phantom Pharaoh. And, seeing as this is the last NPOCP of the year, I thought that this virile peacock of a car would be an awesome way to get this party sharted.
Amazingly, this Lincoln Town Car-based custom is described as a 'used 2014 model.' That means it must be from the future because 2014 doesn't even start until tomorrow. Oh those rich people, they have everything money can buy, and apparently that includes time machines.
The seller claims that only 20 of these beauties were built before the molds were smashed lest the bourgeois storm the factory and claim them as their own. That's right, only 20! That means there's about as much opportunity of owning one of these as there is of marrying a Kardashian. Not only that, but the Phantom Pharaoh is as incomprehensibly fetching as is Kim's new Hermes Birkin bag.
Let's review the aesthetics of this rolling icon of the entitled so that we too might understand just how the rich and famous live. Starting from the ground up the first thing that you will notice are the gold-plated 20" Dayton wires, which have more spokes than Paris Hilton has belittlements for poor people. Next up are the fancy flares which are painted in royale gold and contrast with the braggadocio blue of the remaining, and very opulent bodywork.
That bodywork by the way has been crafted in homage to the Rolls Royce Phantom, but it takes the luxury appearance up a notch or twelve with the addition of Swarovski Crystals on the trim, and encrusting the mascot (what is that, a Heisman Trophy?) like it's the world's most fashionable leper.
This Phantom Pharaoh has but 37,000 miles on its clock, all of which no doubt rolled on such exclusive avenues as Rodeo Drive and Savile Row. Few of us have the proper breeding to even visit such haughty turf, but buying the Phantom Pharaoh might just be the key to joining the hoity-toity, and all it takes is $49,900.
It's New Year's Eve, and that is a traditional opportunity for many to make resolutions regarding changes in their lives. Do you think that spending $49,900 for this stunning set of wheels would be a change for the better? Or, is that price for this custom car a choice without resolve?
H/T to Long Time Reader David for the hookup!
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