Welcome to Jalopnik Obscura, where we highlight the whacky, wonderful, and downright weird automotive videos from around the web. Watch and prepare to bathe in the madness.

Jalopnik is all about journalistic transparency, and in that spirit I invite you to watch this faithful re-enactment of a typical editorial meeting.

Just kidding, Jalopnik editorial meetings are much more terrifying. But this five-minute condensation from Everything is Terrible of the plot of the 1998 direct-to-video film Captured, starring Nick Mancuso, is definitely weird. The plot of Captured basically entails a guy trying to steal a Porsche 911 Turbo (good choice), when the owner shows up. The thief then discovers that this particular Porsche has been outfitted with a number of custom features, including a lockdown feature that leaves him trapped inside the car (bad choice). Hijinks ensue.

That being said, I now want to go watch the whole thing. Sounds like a nice way to kill a couple brain cells, and still be good to drive afterwards. If you can stomach getting in a car, that is.

Got a completely bizarre automotive-themed video you think should be shared with the world? Send all of your strange curiosities to ballaban@jalopnik.com with the subject line "Jalopnik Obscura." Stay weird, Jalops.